Infantilism in women - what is it, signs, how to get rid of it. I spent my entire salary on a trampoline and sweets: how to get rid of immaturity How to get rid of immaturity in adulthood

Infantilism is a special property of a person's behavior that characterizes him as an immature person, incapable of making thoughtful, balanced decisions. As a rule, such childishness and immaturity are the product of upbringing, and not a failure in the process of maturation of the brain.

An infantile person simply avoids all responsibility - nothing prevents him from "taking life by the tail and changing something in it", but there is no desire for such active actions.

Whereas, infantilism is a pathological condition that implies a delay in the psychological development of a person for some objective reason. For example, oxygen starvation of the brain during intrauterine fetal formation. The inconsistency of human behavior with age characteristics becomes especially noticeable by the time they enter school. In the future, it only progresses.

Causes

The origins of infantility, according to experts from different countries dealing with a similar problem, should be sought in the childhood of a person. Of the many reasons they identified, here are a few of the main ones:

• overprotection of parents - the child does not have the opportunity to make independent decisions and learn from his mistakes, he develops a habit of shifting responsibility to other people;
• constant lack of attention and love from close relatives - a situation where the baby is left to himself most of the time, a kind of pedagogical neglect, in adulthood such children seek to compensate for the lost sense of care;
• total control - if children are forced to account for literally every step they take, then, in contrast, they begin to express a kind of protest with their infantile behavior, they say, get what you want, I refuse to take responsibility;
• forced rapid maturation - if a child, due to life circumstances, had to face the need to make important decisions too early, then later he may seek to avoid situations where a choice is required.

Sometimes diseases of the internal organs become a platform for infantilism, for example, when brain cells simply do not have enough energy for full-fledged activity. Or the emerging infantilism in women due to underdevelopment of the ovaries - a deficiency in the production of sex hormones leads to a lag in the maturation of higher nervous activity.

Symptoms

Among the whole variety of symptoms that can describe the behavior of an infant, the following most characteristic signs of infantility can be distinguished:

• inability and unwillingness to make important decisions, for which you will then have to bear personal responsibility - in situations where you need to urgently solve something, such a person will try to shift the task onto the shoulders of a colleague, relative as much as possible, or let everything take its course;
• unconscious desire for dependency - infantile people can earn good money, but they are not accustomed to serving themselves in everyday life or are simply lazy, trying in every possible way to avoid everyday duties;
• extremely pronounced egocentrism and selfishness - an unfounded belief that the whole world should revolve around them, their requests should be immediately fulfilled, while they themselves will try to find a thousand excuses for their own unfulfilled obligations;
• difficulties in relationships with colleagues, partners, spouses - unwillingness to work on relationships leads to the fact that, in the end, such people remain lonely even in their own family;
• an infantile woman can have fun at some event or party, while her apartment will not be cleaned, and the refrigerator shines with empty shelves;
• frequent job changes - an infantile man justifies himself in every possible way by the fact that they find fault with him too much or force him to work, so they spend their whole lives looking for a job where they would be paid more and demanded less.

People-infants live literally like moths - one day. Often they do not have savings "in reserve". They do not strive for self-improvement, because they are sure that they are already good, everything suits them in themselves.

Types of infantilism

To complete the description of such a disorder as personality immaturity, it should be noted that it can be expressed in various forms. So, psychic infantilism is a slow maturation of a child. There is some delay in the formation of the baby's personality - in the emotional or volitional sphere. Such children may demonstrate a high level of logical thinking. They are intellectually very developed and able to serve themselves. However, at the same time, their gaming interests always prevail over educational and cognitive ones.

Physiological infantilism is an excessively slow or disturbed bodily development, resulting in a failure in the formation of higher nervous activity. More often taken for. Only a thorough differential diagnosis by a highly professional specialist puts everything in its place. The reasons for its appearance may be infections transferred by a pregnant woman or oxygen starvation of the fetus. Signs of infantilism in such a child can be combined with the phrase “I want to show myself, but I can’t.”

Psychological infantilism - a person has a completely healthy psyche in a physiological sense, he is fully consistent in development with his age. But they deliberately choose "childish" behavior. For example, because of the transferred - as a kind of "protection" from an aggressive external reality. Then the habit of walling off and shifting responsibility for oneself to others becomes the norm of behavior.

Features in men

The bulk of the differences in the manifestation of infantilism among the sexes lies in the social views adopted in a particular society. If you look at the problem from this point of view, then infantilism in men is a sign of their failure as a protector, a “earner”. Such behavior is condemned in most social groups.

You can recognize a male infant by several characteristic features. He has a very close bond with his family, especially his mother. At the same time, the relationship between them can even be conflicting, but they cannot do without each other for a long time.

The parent dominates in such relationships. Therefore, becoming an adult, a male infant does not take any responsibility - for himself, his family. In many situations, he behaves like a child. Infantilism in men quite often manifests itself in avoiding conflicts, the need to solve problems, avoiding reality in fictional relationships, for example, in.

But such a man is the soul of any company. He sincerely rejoices at any holiday and an occasion to have fun. He is always ready to become the organizer of the party, but only if someone else will finance it. He practically does not know how to handle money and earn it.

They can be most clearly manifested in his competition with his own children. He is sincerely offended if the wife pays less attention to him or buys more things not for him, but for the child. Scandals and quarrels in such a family will occur more often if a woman does not learn to find balance in relations with her husband and offspring.

Features in women

Society looks more favorably on infantilism in women. Often such "childishness" is even encouraged - many men are pleased to pamper their chosen one or educate her sometimes. Some husbands assert their ego in this way.

Women, on the other hand, are impressed by the role of dependents - this greatly facilitates their existence in terms of making important decisions. Shifting one's worries onto "strong male shoulders" has long been encouraged and welcomed in European society. However, the realities of our days are such that such behavior sometimes leads to a catastrophe in relations - two infants, colliding, are unable to help each other.

Sometimes they hide behind infantilism - beriberi, chronic fatigue, severe stressful situations lead to the fact that the nervous system cannot stand it. In an effort to save herself, a woman begins to move away from reality, becoming lethargic, apathetic. After the restoration of the reserves of vitamins and microelements, as well as energy, the representative of the beautiful half of humanity will again be active, bright, cheerful and life-affirming.

If the desire to have fun is the predominant trait of a woman’s character, without a desire to think about the future, to ensure her well-being and comfort on her own, we can talk about psychological infantilism. Encouraging such behavior can result in permissiveness and licentiousness, up to a violation of criminal liability. Punishment and "sobering up" is sometimes too harsh and harsh - serving time in places of deprivation of liberty.

How to get rid of infantilism?

It is quite difficult for an infantile person to realize his problems with decision-making. Few find the strength to fight and take steps to improve their lives - gaining independence. Most often, such people need the help of professional psychologists.

Positive results can be achieved faster if the request for help was undertaken in the early stages of the formation of a personality disorder, in the childhood years of a person's life. Group and individual trainings have proved to be excellent.

To properly organize the process of raising and becoming a child, parents can be recommended:

• consult with children more often, ask their opinion on every important life event for them;
• do not try to artificially create excessively comfortable conditions for the child - learn about all the difficulties, for example, at school, solve them together, and not shoulder the problem only on your own shoulders;
• enroll him in the sports section - this is how responsibility and purposefulness will be formed in him;
• encourage the child to communicate with peers and older people;
• avoid thinking in terms of "we" - dividing yourself and the baby into "I" and "he".

If intellectual decline was provoked by focal ischemia, then you will need qualified help from a neurologist, drug treatment.

How to get rid of infantilism for a man - such issues should be resolved by a specialist on an individual basis. Without awareness of the problem, if he himself is not ready to work on himself, all the steps taken by his parents, wife, colleagues will be ineffective.

Experts can only give recommendations on how to get rid of infantility in adulthood - reconsider your life priorities, try to live separately from your parents, find a job that will require decision-making, but without excessive responsibility. You can try step-by-step planning - set quite achievable goals and strive for them.

Each person is the creator of his own destiny, and without internal work on himself it is impossible to achieve the harmonious development of his personality.

Infantilism is not only a problem for the young. It can prevent a person from creating harmonious personal relationships at any age. How to define in itself infantilism? How to get rid of infantilism? It is difficult for an extremely infantile person to ask such questions ...

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What is infantilism and what are its causes? This is childishness in the behavior of an adult, the so-called emotional immaturity. If for children whose personality is just being formed, this is a normal trait, then for an adult it is unnatural to be infantile.

Adult infantilism

It is good when an adult is able to perceive the world as joyfully, easily, openly and with interest, as in childhood.

So who are these infantile people? This is when a person (personality) behaves like a child, when he has fun, plays, fools around, relaxes, “falls” into childhood for a while.

In a conflict or anxious situation, a person uses an unconscious return to children's behavior patterns in order to protect himself from excessive worries and experiences, to feel safe. This is a psychological defense mechanism - regression, the consequences of which are infantile behavior. After overcoming the external or the person again returns to normal behavior.

Infantile girl runs with balloons in her hands

The problem arises if infantilism is not a situational manifestation, but a delay in the development of the personality. The purpose of infantilism is to create psychological comfort. But infantilism is not a temporary protection or state, but habitual behavior. Infantilism is the preservation of behaviors corresponding to the age period of childhood in an adult. In this case, the question inevitably arises of how an adult can stop being a child and grow up emotionally.

In infantile personalities, the emotional-volitional sphere deviates in development. Man-Child does not know how to make decisions, control emotions, regulate behavior, behaves like a dependent baby.

When others say to an infantile person: “Don’t act like a child!”, They provoke advising behavior in response. The Man-Child will not ask the question: “Am I really acting like a child?”, will not listen to criticism, but will be offended or angry. Many articles have been written about how to get rid of infantilism for a woman or a man. But people with a similar temperament are not inclined to study such literature or heed the advice of loved ones, because they consider their own behavior to be the norm.

An adult, consciously or unconsciously, chooses a childish style of behavior, because it is easier to live this way.

Causes and forms of infantilism

The phrase said by a parent to a child: “Don't behave like a child!” sounds paradoxical, but this is how adults teach children to strive for independence and responsibility. Parents should urgently take action if they notice that an infantile child is growing in the house. How to help him grow up and raise a full-fledged personality, you can understand on your own, knowing the origins of the problem.

The causes of infantilism lie in the mistakes of education. Therefore, few people already ask themselves the question of how to get rid of infantilism in adulthood, considering their behavior and worldview to be the norm. The main mistakes parents make are:

overprotection, that is, the suppression of the child's initiative, when he could not take responsibility for himself and, accordingly, could not learn self-control,
lack of love and care in childhood, which the individual seeks to make up for as an adult,
early adulthood when a person does not have time to be a child,

Treating an adult like a child is also the reason for the development of infantilism in him. A person takes everything for granted, more and more confident in the correctness of his own behavior. Before you ask yourself how to deal with infantilism for a woman or a man, you need to know how and in what this character trait is manifested.

Infantilism manifests itself as follows:

Laziness. Inability to arrange life, unwillingness to serve oneself (cook food, wash things, and so on), shifting household duties to relatives.
Dependency. An infantile person may not work, live at the expense of relatives, or may go to work, but have no desire to work.

Young infantile people laugh

Egocentrism. The Man-Child believes that others are obliged to satisfy needs, to try for him, forgetting about himself, while he himself does not think about others. Such individuals are ungrateful, and the good deeds of others are perceived as proper behavior.
Passion for games and entertainment. An infantile person is drawn to fun and carelessness. Shopping, beauty salons, chasing gadgets, hen/stag parties, nightclubs, discos, entertainment centers, all kinds of games (gambling, computer, and so on).
Transferring responsibility. Decision-making, fulfillment of duties and other responsible activities, the person-Child shifts to relatives.
Disorganization of life. An infantile person has no plans, he does not set himself goals and objectives, does not know what the daily routine is, does not think about accounting for money.
Unwillingness to develop An infantile person does not see the point in development, because everything suits him anyway, he lives in the present, not analyzing past experience, not thinking about the future. Adults behave like children when they want to remain children, do not want to grow up.

How to overcome infantilism

You can be infantile only when there are close, loving and caring people nearby, on whom responsibility is shifted.

If in the relationship of two adults one person behaves like a Child, the second takes the role of his Parent. When an adult is so immersed in the role of the Child that it takes over his personality, he should turn to a psychologist or psychotherapist. Because the inner Adult is not able to overpower the inner Child, and outside help is needed.

They get rid of infantilism, realizing it as a problem and engaging in self-education.

You need to learn to be responsible, organized, independent. However, for people who are too insecure and tense, infantilization is sometimes extremely useful. For example, in psychological support groups there are even special courses that involve creating an atmosphere of general trust, fun and emancipation. Adults are taught to be liberated, based on the behavior and character traits of children.

And also self-educate in yourself:

activity,
accuracy,
thrift,
prudence,
thoughtfulness,
and other qualities of a mature personality.

Tips on how to get rid of infantilism in adults:

Find an interesting job which assumes responsibility for other people. If the work is pleasant, it is easy and pleasant for a person to take responsibility. Find serious tasks, set intractable tasks, come up with strong-willed tests.

Infantile girl blows bubbles

Get an animal. A helpless animal will become a "child" for an infantile person, he will have no other choice but to become a Parent for him. The role of the Parent involves organization, punctuality, care, responsibility, problem solving, and meeting the needs of a helpless being.
Create conditions when there is no other choice but to grow up. Living on your own, away from caregivers and parents, or moving out helps you mature quickly. Also, a person becomes an adult when he has a family and children.

Being frivolous is easy, but being able to stand up for yourself, overcome life's trials, and provide the conditions necessary for survival on your own is difficult. Being an adult can be learned through education and self-education.

March 22, 2014, 14:37

The majority of adults, accomplished people, recall the past days of their childhood with special warmth and joy. To return, albeit mentally, to this difficult and colorful period, to experience the key moments of growing up and to feel like a pioneer again is an invaluable gift of our memory. But what to do if a person has not overcome the necessary boundaries, remains in captivity of children's ideas about the world and continues to live like an adult child? Is infantilism a problem of modernity or the absence of stereotypes and a powerful potential for development?

- this is childishness, immaturity or underdevelopment of the psyche.

Infantile man - this is a person whose behavior is dominated by immature behavior, unwillingness to take responsibility for oneself and make decisions independently, lack of life goals and the desire to change something in oneself and in one's life as a whole.

Infantile personality disorder refers to the presence in an adult of the traits and behaviors characteristic of a child. Psychologists say that such a disorder occurs most often in their practice and is the basis for other problems in the life of the subject.

This problem became especially acute after 1990, when the system of values ​​in our country underwent a change. Schools ceased to take on the function of education, and parents did not have time for this, because they had to adapt to the new conditions of existence of the emerging state.

Types of infantilism

1. Mental infantilism(psychological infantilism). Slow child development. His mental qualities are formed late and do not correspond to age. This disorder has nothing to do with mental retardation.
2. Physiological infantilism. Slowed or disturbed bodily development due to oxygen deprivation or infection of the fetus during pregnancy.

Signs of infantilism

The subject's infantile life manifests itself at different levels of existence: from attitudes towards one's own health to ideas about marriage and the process of creating a family. The character and thinking of an infantile person is not much different from the character and thinking of a child. The immaturity of the subject is manifested both from a psychological and social perspective. We list the following main signs of infantilism, which can manifest themselves both together and separately:

• Lack of independence.
• Inability to make independent decisions.
• Lack of desire to solve problems in an adult way.
• Lack of desire to develop.
• Lack of goals in life.
• Selfishness and self-centeredness.
• Unpredictability.
• Inadequacy.
• Irresponsibility.
• Addiction propensity.
• dependent tendencies.
• Staying in your own world (disturbances of perception).
• Difficulty in communication.
• Inability to adapt.
• Physical inactivity.
• Small income.
• Lack of social promotion.

Companion and dependent

The Infantes are in no hurry to take responsibility. They hide behind their parents, wives, friends.

playfully

A child from infancy discovers the world through play. The Infant lives for the game: endless parties, online games, excessive shopaholism, frequent change of favorite gadgets (even if he cannot afford them), etc.

An infantile person is closed to his personality, but at the same time he is not used to complex reflections and does not go deep into introspection and introspection. Because of this, it is difficult for him to understand what another person feels, it is difficult to believe that people perceive the world differently. Hence the inability to take into account the interests of others. Therefore, often such people experience certain difficulties in communicating with others. They have a hard time getting in touch. They use the phrase " no body understands me". However, they themselves do not make an effort to understand others.

Lack of life goals

“When will I have grandchildren? What am I striving for? What are you shipping me!? I'm fine as it is! I haven’t walked up yet” - such is the position of an infantile person.

An infantile personality is not able to analyze certain situations and predict their development, does not think about the future, does not make plans. Infantilism is especially well illustrated when a person is not able to build certain strategies in his behavior to solve problems, achieve goals. At the same time, such a person, achieving the goal, tries to avoid complex patterns of behavior (requiring effort and time) accepted in society, and is content only with those results that can satisfy his momentary need. In this way, infantilism is also the inability to build multi-way combinations in behavior.

"Where the legs grow from"

To understand that we have an infantile personality, it is necessary first of all to pay attention to her relationship with her parents. If communication with them is built in an equal manner and the subject takes care of them, then this is a good sign. If there is an active intrusion of parents into the space of the subject, surrounding him with excessive guardianship, manifestation of obsessive behavior, and at the same time the person is not able to interrupt this flow of parental care, transfer their communication to another day and is loyal to such unhealthy attention, then this is an alarm bell, which signals that we have a sort of Peter Pan - a Disney hero who did not want to grow up.

"The main concern in life is to achieve a carefree life"

Signs of infantilism can also be seen in situations where a person constantly strives to shift responsibility onto others. Responsibility is a quality opposite to infantilism. The infantile personality type often demonstrates a carefree behavior, trying on a jester mask, striving to have more fun and entertain others. However, other moods can live inside him, but, despite this, he will continue to play the clown, due to the fact that such a role of the “soul of the company” is subject to minimal responsibility.

From a social point of view, an infantile subject will almost always be low-income, he will have difficulty in finding work, in moving up the career ladder.

Even on physiological level infantilism leaves its mark. Such people have a specific facial expression with a touch of contempt or irony. The corners of the lips are lowered, the folds of the nasolabial triangle are frozen as if in disgust for something.

When Infantilism Begins

Psychologists believe that infantilism arises under adverse conditions of upbringing in the period from 8 to 15 years. At the initial stages, the problem of infantility manifests itself in the form of tantrums, manipulation, disobedience to parents, an irresponsible approach to the learning process.

Psychologists believe that the causes of infantility should be sought in childhood, family and upbringing. Sometimes parents, being infantile themselves, set a bad example for their children. They cause the immaturity of the child. Infantility in adults leaves an imprint on their offspring. But also the excessive influence of parents, and other mistakes in education, when a parent seeks to impose strong emotional ties on a child, arbitrarily deprives him of independence, and sometimes even prevents him from expressing his opinion, lead to sad consequences. This behavior is associated primarily with an exaggerated desire to control their children, their fate and development.

Fear for one's offspring in our society sometimes takes grotesque forms, leading to this kind of violation - the complete subordination and fixation of the child's thinking on the parent. On the other hand, there is an ethically unjustified position of the parent in relation to the child, which leads to the appearance of the so-called. Cinderella syndrome. In this case, a person acquires children solely for selfish reasons, deliberately placing the development of the child in the “Procrustean bed” of serving himself or his ideas.

The constant pressure of this kind, elevated to the Absolute, smoothly flows into the adult life of a person. It is very difficult for parents to rebuild and stop seeing their child in an already adult person and change the above behaviors associated with him. Mother or father continues to follow him relentlessly, bombarding him with calls, loading him with hundreds of tips, getting into his personal life. A full-fledged personality meets such aggressive guardianship with stiff resistance. However, an infantile person accepts and easily reconciles with her, justifying such an invasion of personal space with parental love. In fact, there is a substitution of concepts, and "love for parents" hides the fear of responsibility and independence.

Sooner or later, an erroneous approach to education will lead to the association of a parent and a child. The psychological space of the first will gradually merge with the psychological space of the second, uniting two separate social and psychological units “I” and “she” (“he”) into one single “we”. An infantile person will not be able to act separately, outside of this bundle.

However, the modern problem of infantility is also a problem of lack of time. Raising a child requires constant focus on its development. Not all parents can afford it due to constant employment. In this case, parental influence is replaced by other things:

• watching movies,
• computer,
• listening to music.
• etc.

Such a substitute for upbringing does not bring much benefit, but, on the contrary, develops in the child the illusion of permissiveness, a manipulative approach to others.

Psychologists are also throwing stones at the garden of the modern school education system. According to experts, today's schools are "crippling children." Each person has a so-called. sensitive periods in development, when he is most open to perceiving the information he needs and learning the necessary skills (upright walking, speech, etc.). The school period, which coincides with the sensitive period of assimilation of social norms (from 7 to 14 years old), is unfortunately considered unfavorable for growing up.

Today's schools concentrate exclusively on knowledge of general subjects, discarding the process of education. The teenager does not get the necessary idea of ​​" what is good and what is bad". Such a gap in the moral formation of a person reinforces infantile patterns, ultimately leading to immaturity. From the age of 14, a sensitive period begins, in which a person strives for independence. The school bench again does not allow him to realize this desire, limiting it to the framework of education. Thus, missed periods of personality formation lead to desocialization and lack of independence - the main signs of infantilism.

How infantilism manifests itself in men, women, children

Infantilism has gender differentiation. Both men and women can suffer from it. Experts say that male infantilism is no different from female. The bulk of the differences in the manifestation of infantilism among the sexes and different age groups lies in the social views on these groups.

Sexual sign of infantilism takes place: both a man and a woman can be infantile. In this case, the symptomatology of the problem has few differences, however, it acquires its own characteristics, if you look at it through the prism of social attitudes. Society makes more demands on a man. Infantile man more often condemned in society than infantile woman (compare the phraseological units "sissy" and "daddy's daughter" and pay attention to the presence of a greater negative connotation in the first in relation to the second).

Infantilism in men indicates an unreliable economic condition, an inability to find a soul mate, create a family and provide for it.

People around women often turn a blind eye to infantilism in women, and sometimes they encourage the girl to be a little child. This is due to the fact that it is often pleasant for a man to be in the company of a dependent woman, who needs to be taken care of, thereby strengthening and emphasizing his status as an earner and the reputation of a leader. And a woman, in turn, is often impressed by the role of a dependent and driven woman, who has her own “owner”, which greatly facilitates her existence in terms of decision-making and corresponds to the gender role that has been established in society.

Infantilism in children

However, the beginnings of immaturity can be seen in the child. Infantilism is something that should be inherent in children and this is quite in line with the norm. Nevertheless, one can predict a trend towards the transfer of this condition into adulthood if one pays attention to the attitude of parents towards their child. If he constantly evades obligations and responsibilities, and his parents indulge him in this, then there is every chance that he will grow up immature. Also, the predominance of the game sphere over the educational one in the life of a child can adversely affect his development.

Infantilism in children, which manifests itself during study, can alert teachers. In this case, they talk about the presence of prerequisites that signal a problem with growing up. These factors include the predominance of gaming motives in the classroom, restlessness, difficulty in concentrating, emotional instability, emotional immaturity, hysteria. Often such children cannot get involved in the general work in the lesson: they ask abstract questions, do not complete assignments. Their social circle consists of children younger than themselves. This may indicate a slow development of the child (psychological infantilism) and lead to problems in the formation of the personality. Such children often become withdrawn, suffer from neuroses.

Infantilism - is it a problem or not?!

Psychologists do not allow themselves to be led into temptation in order to somehow justify infantilism. For them, this is not a separate way of life, not a different view of the world, and even less belonging to any subculture. According to experts, this is precisely the problem, characterized primarily by the inability to achieve success in the self-realization of the individual in one or another social framework.

It is worth noting that despite the unsuitability for adult life, such people often demonstrate high creative potential. The infantile way of life, which often takes place against the background of the absence of any framework and self-restraints, stimulates the work of the right hemisphere of the brain in humans. Increased activity of the creative center leads to daydreaming, immersion in fantasies. Such people can be good artists or musicians.

"Children can't have children." Sergey Shnurov about infantilism and who a mature man is.

How childishness manifests itself in a relationship

Any contacts of an infantile person with psychologically mature people will cause irritation on their part and lead to conflicts. An established personality expects from its environment the same adequate actions that guide itself. An immature subject, who is not distinguished by the ability to clearly perceive the world around him and adapt to circumstances, will cause some difficulties in communicating with himself and even irritation towards himself in a full-fledged personality.

The wrong upbringing strategy leaves an indelible mark on the human psyche. Therefore, when communicating with people, such a person will unconsciously reach out to those who will take the position of a parent in relation to him. Indeed, in other cases, his infantilism in a relationship will only run into conflicts.

So, for example, when looking for a mate, infantile boys or girls will first of all seek to find a second mother or second father, respectively (often their parents do this for them, acting as a matchmaker). If they succeed, and a partner who will fully play the role they need is found, then we can talk about a successful combination of circumstances.

Usually the chosen ones of such people are older, socially active individuals. However, in this case, the conflict will not disappear. It automatically flows into the plane of relations between the new "mother" or the new "dad" with the biological parents of the infantile subject. Between them, a competitive struggle for custody of the "child" may unfold. The winners of this struggle are usually real mothers or fathers who manage to push wives or husbands aside and take their usual dominant position over their child. Naturally, in this case, the conflict will also affect the young family, often leading to its collapse.

An infantile person is well aware of his situation and the problems that follow from it. In part, he even admits that he lives an inferior life and does not deny the suffering he experiences associated with this. However, psychologists believe that no immature subject would ever change on its own. It is difficult for him to take independent steps towards positive changes, to leave his comfort zone.

How to deal with infantilism? Psychologists say that it is useless to try to change such people for non-specialists. If mothers and fathers did not accustom the child to independence at the stages when these foundations are laid, and their child grew up as an insecure and helpless person, then only a psychologist can help here.

Therefore, if the problem was detected in the early stages (during adolescence), then you should not delay a visit to a specialist. Positive changes can only be achieved through group consultations with a psychologist. Moreover, the older the person, the harder it will be for him to change.

In order not to bring this problem to the psychologist's office, parents must properly organize the process of education. There are techniques that psychologists share, telling how to get rid of infantilism:

1. Consult with the child, ask his opinion, discuss certain problems. Discuss the family budget together. This will increase his confidence, make it clear that he is on an equal footing with his parents, both in terms of rights and in terms of responsibility.
2. Don't let your child close into a comfort zone. Find out what difficulties he is experiencing. From time to time, create a situation in which he will experience difficulties so that he can overcome them on his own.
3. Send your child to the sports section. Children involved in sports, according to statistics, become more responsible and purposeful.
4. Encourage your child to socialize with peers and older people.
5. Work on the bugs. Explain in which situations the child was right and in which he was not.
6. Avoid thinking in terms of "we" in relation to children. Divide this concept into "I" and "you". This will allow them to be more independent.
7. Children's infantilism can be corrected by medication. A psychoneurologist can prescribe drugs (nootropics) that improve brain activity, memory, and concentration.

Here are some tips from a psychologist that will show how to grow up as a man or how to grow up a girl:

1. Realize, accept the fact that you are an infantile person.
2. Deliberately putting yourself in a situation that requires you to make your own decision: to get a job where there will be some responsibility.
3. Get a pet that you will have to take care of and take care of. This will lead to a gradual habituation to responsibility.
4. Ask loved ones not to indulge their infantilism.
5. Get out of your comfort zone - move to another city, start a new life.

Today, in our country there is a clear bias towards women's education. A woman teaches us at school, at home - mother and grandmother, at the university women teachers predominate ... The image of a man, father, protector, breadwinner and the war is coming to naught, which is bearing fruit - boys are not able to make decisions, marry late, get divorced, cannot build a career.

Solution: you need to restore the harmony of masculine and feminine. Scold the father on the sidelines, but not in front of the child. Give the child the opportunity to solve life's problems on his own: offer the kid himself to decide which shoes to wear for a walk, let the teenager help you nail or decide where to hang a shelf for him.

It has long been discovered that three hypostases live in us:

• child,
• adult,
• parent.

Each of these aspects of the personality requires manifestation from time to time in order for a person to feel comfortable. However, if you focus on one of them, it will not bring happiness. Living life while staying young at heart is part of an achievement. Nevertheless, for a fulfilling life, one cannot play the role of only a child, turning into an infant, or forever occupy the position of a parent, becoming a strict controller. This world lives by its own rules, to which it is our duty to adapt. However, such adaptation is possible only if a balance is maintained between our hypostases.

Why are there more and more infantile men and women.