What does an infantile person mean - the concept, signs, types of infantilism, how to get rid of infantilism. Psychological infantilism and methods of struggle How to get rid of childishness

The ability to maintain mental balance and good humor is much more important for health than exercise and eating habits **Dr. J. Wayan g98 1/22

Yes, dear friend, we began to communicate a little less often. And instead of anxiety, it is better to approach this fact from the positive side.

First, we have additional time to research issues positive psychology offline. Secondly, new opportunities are provided for establishing good face-to-face relationships.

We still believe that the most important thing that makes our journey through life meaningful is establishing and maintaining the necessary relationships. In our divided world, it can be considered a huge achievement to be able to maintain a relationship of trust to the end.

And today I want to talk not so much about relationships, but about something without which they definitely won’t take place.

Emotional maturity - what is it?

The human spirit helps to endure the disease, but if the spirit is afflicted, who will endure it? **King Solomon

Would you, dear friend, be able to endure daily complaints and murmurings? And whims and discontent? I do not think.

We are much more willing to spend time in the company of joyful, positive-minded friends. We like to communicate with emotionally stable mature people. Is not it?

So. In a biological sense, the word maturity” can be defined as “a state of full development, adulthood, completeness that meets certain standards.” Of course, the norms for determining physiological maturity differ from the norms by which spiritual or spiritual maturity is determined. emotional maturity.

I know that there are many people who are disgusted by the very concept of “norm”. And such people will quickly leave this blog. For those of us who are not emotional anarchists, it will be interesting to speculate about the signs of emotional maturity. But first, a few words of caution.

All mature people differ from each other physically and mentally and have different abilities. Emotionally, they are also different, because someone is characterized by great curiosity, someone is smiling, and so on. Therefore, you should not compare your maturity with the maturity of someone who is nearby.

Just like ripe apples. Around the world, there are about 7,500 varieties of them of various colors and sizes: red and yellow, golden and green, the size of a large cherry and even a grapefruit.

Each of us has his own variety, which, fortunately, is not measured by a number. Each of us has our own.

And yes, you don't have to worry about overheating. Because the emotional maturation of a person is a continuous, lifelong process of becoming. The process of decay occurs under the influence of certain factors, and not as a natural inevitable life cycle.

Longevity, at least in men, seems to depend on the ability to maintain mental balance, which helps to avoid depression **Science News

Two properties of emotional maturity

• manifests itself in awareness.

The ability to look at ourselves as if from the outside, apparently, is inherent in us from birth. But over time, the view from the outside merges with other people's views and assessments, and most often not those of people who have reached a high level of emotional competence.

Therefore, it is necessary to develop the ability to analyze your emotional state. An achievement can be considered when at any moment a person can “pause” and look at himself, evaluate his own emotions and feelings, despite their widest range.

Of course, an emotionally mature person is aware of the power of basic emotions and, understanding the principles of their transformation, learns to manage them. The bottom line is that a mature person is not a baby whose mood often changes for minor reasons.

• manifests itself in responsibility.

Emotionally mature people have a positive self-image and thus are able to tolerate frustrating or annoying things that come their way from time to time.

Such people do not lose control over themselves and are able to cope with their own negative emotions in a way that does not interfere with the well-being of others.

For example, if they're having a bad day, they don't lash out at the first person they meet. And what's more, when expressing their opinions and feelings, they take into account how it will affect others.

Responsibility in my view is synonymous with causality. At the moment of someone else's irritation, responsibility prompts you to look behind the wall of negative emotions of the other side and guess the reasons for that very irritation, instead of building your own wall of negativism and forward, “wall to wall”.

If you remember, then he trains just when mastering practical methods to skillfully cope with such negative learned reactions.

Modern neuroscience argues that we are not able to decide when exactly we will experience an explosion of emotions. But we can control exactly how long it will last.

Sounds encouraging, doesn't it? And when a person develops responsibility and the ability to quickly recover from such explosions, this will undoubtedly serve as an excellent indicator of his emotional maturity.

emotional immaturity

When you fall, the main thing is not to split **1st Principle of the Glass

Emotionally immature people are insecure people who are unable to survive difficulties and problems; in critical life situations, they uncompromisingly choose to “hide in a house”.

As an "escape" they use addiction agents: alcohol, drugs, sects, magic, gambling.

Emotionally immature people are afraid to openly express their feelings, to seem incompetent and weak. They are driven by an irresistible desire to assert themselves, to show their significance, importance.

Immaturity prevents you from enjoying freedom, but it firmly implants a painful attitude towards criticism. Lack of emotional maturity encourages you to frequently compare yourself to someone you see with your eyes.

And the lack of awareness and responsibility crosses out attempts to lead a moderate lifestyle. If love - then "to the point of insanity" and the obliteration of the arcs of a friend, if religion - then to blind fanaticism, if sports - then to exhaustion and health problems, if work - then to a stroke or heart attack.

On the contrary, it helps to competently plan your life. It is to plan and achieve the intended goals, and not just indulge yourself with pipe dreams.

And most importantly emotional maturity is an important ingredient for success. The very thing that is the basis of long-term and reliable relationships with those who are really dear to us.

The majority of adults, accomplished people, recall the past days of their childhood with special warmth and joy. To return, albeit mentally, to this difficult and colorful period, to experience the key moments of growing up and to feel like a pioneer again is an invaluable gift of our memory. But what to do if a person has not overcome the necessary boundaries, remains in captivity of children's ideas about the world and continues to live like an adult child? Is infantilism a problem of modernity or the absence of stereotypes and a powerful potential for development?

- this is childishness, immaturity or underdevelopment of the psyche.

Infantile man - this is a person whose behavior is dominated by immature behavior, unwillingness to take responsibility for oneself and make decisions independently, lack of life goals and the desire to change something in oneself and in one's life as a whole.

Infantile personality disorder refers to the presence in an adult of the traits and behaviors characteristic of a child. Psychologists say that such a disorder occurs most often in their practice and is the basis for other problems in the life of the subject.

This problem became especially acute after 1990, when the system of values ​​in our country underwent a change. Schools ceased to take on the function of education, and parents did not have time for this, because they had to adapt to the new conditions of existence of the emerging state.

Types of infantilism

1. Mental infantilism(psychological infantilism). Slow child development. His mental qualities are formed late and do not correspond to age. This disorder has nothing to do with mental retardation.
2. Physiological infantilism. Slowed or disturbed bodily development due to oxygen deprivation or infection of the fetus during pregnancy.

Signs of infantilism

The subject's infantile life manifests itself at different levels of existence: from attitudes towards one's own health to ideas about marriage and the process of creating a family. The character and thinking of an infantile person is not much different from the character and thinking of a child. The immaturity of the subject is manifested both from a psychological and social perspective. We list the following main signs of infantilism, which can manifest themselves both together and separately:

• Lack of independence.
• Inability to make independent decisions.
• Lack of desire to solve problems in an adult way.
• Lack of desire to develop.
• Lack of goals in life.
• Selfishness and self-centeredness.
• Unpredictability.
• Inadequacy.
• Irresponsibility.
• Addiction propensity.
• dependent tendencies.
• Staying in your own world (disturbances of perception).
• Difficulty in communication.
• Inability to adapt.
• Physical inactivity.
• Small income.
• Lack of social promotion.

Companion and dependent

The Infantes are in no hurry to take responsibility. They hide behind their parents, wives, friends.

playfully

A child from infancy discovers the world through play. The Infant lives for the game: endless parties, online games, excessive shopaholism, frequent change of favorite gadgets (even if he cannot afford them), etc.

An infantile person is closed to his personality, but at the same time he is not used to complex reflections and does not go deep into introspection and introspection. Because of this, it is difficult for him to understand what another person feels, it is difficult to believe that people perceive the world differently. Hence the inability to take into account the interests of others. Therefore, often such people experience certain difficulties in communicating with others. They have a hard time getting in touch. They use the phrase " no body understands me". However, they themselves do not make an effort to understand others.

Lack of life goals

“When will I have grandchildren? What am I striving for? What are you shipping me!? I'm fine as it is! I haven’t walked up yet” - such is the position of an infantile person.

An infantile personality is not able to analyze certain situations and predict their development, does not think about the future, does not make plans. Infantilism illustrates itself especially well when a person is not able to build certain strategies in his behavior to solve problems, achieve goals. At the same time, such a person, achieving the goal, tries to avoid complex patterns of behavior (requiring effort and time) accepted in society, and is content only with those results that can satisfy his momentary need. In this way, infantilism is also the inability to build multi-way combinations in behavior.

"Where the legs grow from"

To understand that we have an infantile personality, it is necessary first of all to pay attention to her relationship with her parents. If communication with them is built in an equal manner and the subject takes care of them, then this is a good sign. If there is an active intrusion of parents into the space of the subject, surrounding him with excessive guardianship, manifestation of obsessive behavior, and at the same time the person is not able to interrupt this flow of parental care, transfer their communication to another day and is loyal to such unhealthy attention, then this is an alarm bell, which signals that we have a sort of Peter Pan - a Disney hero who did not want to grow up.

"The main concern in life is to achieve a carefree life"

Signs of infantilism can also be seen in situations where a person constantly strives to shift responsibility onto others. Responsibility is a quality opposite to infantilism. The infantile personality type often demonstrates a carefree behavior, trying on a jester mask, striving to have more fun and entertain others. However, other moods can live inside him, but despite this, he will continue to play the clown, due to the fact that such a role of the “soul of the company” is subject to minimal responsibility.

From a social point of view, an infantile subject will almost always be low-income, he will have difficulty in finding work, in moving up the career ladder.

Even on physiological level infantilism leaves its mark. Such people have a specific facial expression with a touch of contempt or irony. The corners of the lips are lowered, the folds of the nasolabial triangle are frozen as if in disgust for something.

When Infantilism Begins

Psychologists believe that infantilism arises under adverse conditions of upbringing in the period from 8 to 15 years. At the initial stages, the problem of infantility manifests itself in the form of tantrums, manipulation, disobedience to parents, an irresponsible approach to the learning process.

Psychologists believe that the causes of infantilism should be sought in childhood, family and upbringing. Sometimes parents, being infantile themselves, set a bad example for their children. They cause the immaturity of the child. Infantility in adults leaves an imprint on their offspring. But also the excessive influence of parents, and other mistakes in education, when a parent seeks to impose strong emotional ties on a child, arbitrarily deprives him of independence, and sometimes even prevents him from expressing his opinion, lead to sad consequences. This behavior is associated primarily with an exaggerated desire to control their children, their fate and development.

Fear for one's offspring in our society sometimes takes grotesque forms, leading to this kind of violation - the complete subordination and fixation of the child's thinking on the parent. On the other hand, there is an ethically unjustified position of the parent in relation to the child, which leads to the appearance of the so-called. Cinderella syndrome. In this case, a person acquires children solely for selfish reasons, deliberately placing the development of the child in the “Procrustean bed” of serving himself or his ideas.

The constant pressure of this kind, elevated to the Absolute, smoothly flows into the adult life of a person. It is very difficult for parents to rebuild and stop seeing their child in an already adult person and change the above behaviors associated with him. Mother or father continues to follow him relentlessly, bombarding him with calls, loading him with hundreds of tips, getting into his personal life. A full-fledged personality meets such aggressive guardianship with stiff resistance. However, an infantile person accepts and easily reconciles with her, justifying such an invasion of personal space with parental love. In fact, there is a substitution of concepts, and "love for parents" hides the fear of responsibility and independence.

Sooner or later, an erroneous approach to education will lead to the association of a parent and a child. The psychological space of the first will gradually merge with the psychological space of the second, uniting two separate social and psychological units “I” and “she” (“he”) into one single “we”. An infantile person will not be able to act separately, outside of this bundle.

However, the modern problem of infantility is also a problem of lack of time. Raising a child requires constant focus on its development. Not all parents can afford it due to constant employment. In this case, parental influence is replaced by other things:

• watching movies,
• computer,
• listening to music.
• etc.

Such a substitute for upbringing does not bring much benefit, but, on the contrary, develops in the child the illusion of permissiveness, a manipulative approach to others.

Psychologists are also throwing stones at the garden of the modern school education system. According to experts, today's schools are "crippling children." Each person has a so-called. sensitive periods in development, when he is most open to perceiving the information he needs and learning the necessary skills (upright walking, speech, etc.). The school period, which coincides with the sensitive period of assimilation of social norms (from 7 to 14 years old), is unfortunately considered unfavorable for growing up.

Today's schools concentrate exclusively on knowledge of general subjects, discarding the process of education. The teenager does not get the necessary idea of ​​" what is good and what is bad". Such a gap in the moral formation of a person reinforces infantile patterns, ultimately leading to immaturity. From the age of 14, a sensitive period begins, in which a person strives for independence. The school bench again does not allow him to realize this desire, limiting it to the framework of education. Thus, missed periods of personality formation lead to desocialization and lack of independence - the main signs of infantilism.

How infantilism manifests itself in men, women, children

Infantilism has gender differentiation. Both men and women can suffer from it. Experts say that male infantilism is no different from female. The bulk of the differences in the manifestation of infantilism among the sexes and different age groups lies in the social views on these groups.

Sexual sign of infantilism takes place: both a man and a woman can be infantile. In this case, the symptomatology of the problem has few differences, however, it acquires its own characteristics, if you look at it through the prism of social attitudes. Society makes more demands on a man. Infantile man more often condemned in society than infantile woman (compare the phraseological units "sissy" and "daddy's daughter" and pay attention to the presence of a greater negative connotation in the first in relation to the second).

Infantilism in men indicates an unreliable economic condition, an inability to find a soul mate, create a family and provide for it.

People around women often turn a blind eye to infantilism in women, and sometimes they encourage the girl to be a little child. This is due to the fact that it is often pleasant for a man to be in the company of a dependent woman, who needs to be taken care of, thereby strengthening and emphasizing his status as an earner and the reputation of a leader. And a woman, in turn, is often impressed by the role of a dependent and driven woman, who has her own “owner”, which greatly facilitates her existence in terms of decision-making and corresponds to the gender role that has been established in society.

Infantilism in children

However, the beginnings of immaturity can be seen in the child. Infantilism is something that should be inherent in children and this is quite in line with the norm. Nevertheless, one can predict a trend towards the transfer of this condition into adulthood if one pays attention to the attitude of parents towards their child. If he constantly evades obligations and responsibilities, and his parents indulge him in this, then there is every chance that he will grow up immature. Also, the predominance of the game sphere over the educational one in the life of a child can adversely affect his development.

Infantilism in children, which manifests itself during study, can alert teachers. In this case, they talk about the presence of prerequisites that signal a problem with growing up. These factors include the predominance of gaming motives in the classroom, restlessness, difficulty in concentrating, emotional instability, emotional immaturity, hysteria. Often such children cannot get involved in the general work in the lesson: they ask abstract questions, do not complete assignments. Their social circle consists of children younger than themselves. This may indicate a slow development of the child (psychological infantilism) and lead to problems in the formation of the personality. Such children often become withdrawn, suffer from neuroses.

Infantilism - is it a problem or not?!

Psychologists do not allow themselves to be led into temptation in order to somehow justify infantilism. For them, this is not a separate way of life, not a different view of the world, and even less belonging to any subculture. According to experts, this is precisely the problem, characterized primarily by the inability to achieve success in the self-realization of the individual in one or another social framework.

It is worth noting that despite the unsuitability for adult life, such people often demonstrate high creative potential. The infantile way of life, which often takes place against the background of the absence of any framework and self-restraints, stimulates the work of the right hemisphere of the brain in humans. Increased activity of the creative center leads to daydreaming, immersion in fantasies. Such people can be good artists or musicians.

"Children can't have children." Sergey Shnurov about infantilism and who a mature man is.

How childishness manifests itself in a relationship

Any contacts of an infantile person with psychologically mature people will cause irritation on their part and lead to conflicts. An established personality expects from its environment the same adequate actions that guide itself. An immature subject, who is not distinguished by the ability to clearly perceive the world around him and adapt to circumstances, will cause some difficulties in communicating with himself and even irritation in relation to himself in a full-fledged personality.

The wrong upbringing strategy leaves an indelible mark on the human psyche. Therefore, when communicating with people, such a person will unconsciously reach out to those who will take the position of a parent in relation to him. Indeed, in other cases, his infantilism in a relationship will only run into conflicts.

So, for example, when looking for a mate, infantile boys or girls will first of all seek to find a second mother or second father, respectively (often their parents do this for them, acting as a matchmaker). If they succeed, and a partner who will fully play the role they need is found, then we can talk about a successful combination of circumstances.

Usually the chosen ones of such people are older, socially active individuals. However, in this case, the conflict will not disappear. It automatically flows into the plane of relations between the new "mother" or the new "dad" with the biological parents of the infantile subject. Between them, a competitive struggle for custody of the "child" may unfold. The winners of this struggle are usually real mothers or fathers who manage to push wives or husbands aside and take their usual dominant position over their child. Naturally, in this case, the conflict will also affect the young family, often leading to its collapse.

An infantile person is well aware of his situation and the problems that follow from it. In part, he even admits that he lives an inferior life and does not deny the suffering he experiences associated with this. However, psychologists believe that no immature subject would ever change on its own. It is difficult for him to take independent steps towards positive changes, to leave his comfort zone.

How to deal with infantilism? Psychologists say that it is useless to try to change such people for non-specialists. If mothers and fathers did not accustom the child to independence at the stages when these foundations are laid, and their child grew up as an insecure and helpless person, then only a psychologist can help here.

Therefore, if the problem was detected in the early stages (during adolescence), then you should not delay a visit to a specialist. Positive changes can only be achieved through group consultations with a psychologist. Moreover, the older the person, the harder it will be for him to change.

In order not to bring this problem to the psychologist's office, parents must properly organize the process of education. There are techniques that psychologists share, telling how to get rid of infantilism:

1. Consult with the child, ask his opinion, discuss certain problems. Discuss the family budget together. This will increase his confidence, make it clear that he is on an equal footing with his parents, both in terms of rights and in terms of responsibility.
2. Don't let your child close into a comfort zone. Find out what difficulties he is experiencing. From time to time, create a situation in which he will experience difficulties so that he can overcome them on his own.
3. Send your child to the sports section. Children involved in sports, according to statistics, become more responsible and purposeful.
4. Encourage your child to socialize with peers and older people.
5. Work on the bugs. Explain in which situations the child was right and in which he was not.
6. Avoid thinking in terms of "we" in relation to children. Divide this concept into "I" and "you". This will allow them to be more independent.
7. Children's infantilism can be corrected by medication. A psychoneurologist can prescribe drugs (nootropics) that improve brain activity, memory, and concentration.

Here are some tips from a psychologist that will show how to grow up as a man or how to grow up a girl:

1. Realize, accept the fact that you are an infantile person.
2. Deliberately putting yourself in a situation that requires you to make your own decision: to get a job where there will be some responsibility.
3. Get a pet that you will have to take care of and take care of. This will lead to a gradual habituation to responsibility.
4. Ask loved ones not to indulge their infantilism.
5. Get out of your comfort zone - move to another city, start a new life.

Today, in our country there is a clear bias towards women's education. A woman teaches us at school, at home - mother and grandmother, at the university women teachers prevail ... The image of a man, father, protector, breadwinner and the war is coming to naught, which is bearing fruit - boys are not able to make decisions, marry late, get divorced, cannot build a career.

Solution: you need to restore the harmony of masculine and feminine. Scold the father on the sidelines, but not in front of the child. Give the child the opportunity to solve life's problems on his own: offer the kid himself to decide which shoes to wear for a walk, let the teenager help you nail or decide where to hang a shelf for him.

It has long been discovered that three hypostases live in us:

• child,
• adult,
• parent.

Each of these aspects of the personality requires manifestation from time to time in order for a person to feel comfortable. However, if you focus on one of them, it will not bring happiness. Living life while staying young at heart is part of an achievement. Nevertheless, for a fulfilling life, one cannot play the role of only a child, turning into an infant, or forever occupy the position of a parent, becoming a strict controller. This world lives by its own rules, to which it is our duty to adapt. However, such adaptation is possible only if a balance is maintained between our hypostases.

Why are there more and more infantile men and women.

Infantilism is a characteristic of a person, expressing the immaturity of her psychological development, the preservation of features inherent in earlier age stages. The infantilism of a person in the everyday sense is called childishness, which is manifested in the immaturity of behavior, the inability to make informed decisions, and the unwillingness to take responsibility.

In psychology, infantilism is understood as the immaturity of an individual, which is expressed in a delay in the formation of a personality when its actions do not meet age requirements. Some people perceive the infantilism of behavior as a matter of course. The life of a modern person is quite fast-paced, it is this lifestyle that pushes a person to such behavior, stopping the growing up and development of the personality, while maintaining a small and unintelligent child inside an adult. The cult of eternal youth and youth, the presence of a wide variety of entertainments of modern culture, this is what provokes the development of infantility in a person, relegating the development of an adult personality to the background and allowing him to remain an eternal child.

A woman with an infantile character is able to portray resentment when she is actually experiencing. Among other tricks, such feminists are armed with sadness, tears, feelings of guilt and fear. Such a woman is able to pretend to be confused when she does not know what she wants. Best of all, she manages to make a man believe that without him she is nobody and that she will disappear without his support. She will never say what she does not like, she will pout or cry and act up, but it is very difficult to bring her into a serious conversation.

The true infantilism of a woman leads her life into sheer chaos. She always gets into some kind of stories, extreme situations, from where she needs to be rescued. She has many friends, her appearance is far from the image of a lady, she is attracted to jeans, sneakers, various T-shirts with children's or cartoon prints. She is cheerful, energetic and fickle, her social circle mostly consisting of people much younger than her age.

Men love adventure because it causes an adrenaline rush, so they find themselves an infantile woman with whom they never get bored.

According to the results of one study, it turned out that 34% of women behave infantile when they are next to their man, 66% say that these women live in the image of a frivolous girl all the time.

The reasons for a woman's infantilism are that she acts in this way, because it is easier for her to achieve something from a man, she does not want to be responsible for her personal life or dreams that someone will take custody of her, this someone, of course, a mature and wealthy man.

How to get rid of infantilism

Infantilism is a persistent personality characteristic in psychology, therefore it is impossible to get rid of it quickly. To transcend to the solution of the question: how to deal with infantilism, you need to understand that for this there is a lot of work to be done. In the fight against infantilism, you need to be very patient, because you have to go through tears, resentment and anger.

So, how to get rid of infantilism. The most effective way is considered to be the occurrence of big changes in life, during which a person must get into such situations and conditions where he will find himself without support and he alone will have to quickly solve problems, and then be responsible for the decisions made.

Thus, many people get rid of infantilism. For men, such conditions can be - the army, special forces, prison. Women are more suited to moving to a foreign country where there are absolutely no acquaintances, and they have to survive without relatives and make new friends.

After experiencing strong stressful situations, a person loses his infantilism, for example, having lost material well-being, having experienced the dismissal or death of a very close person who served as support and support.

For women, the best way to deal with infantilism is the birth of a child and the responsibility that comes with it.

Too radical methods are unlikely to suit every person, and the following may happen: due to sudden changes in life, a person may close in on himself or, having failed to cope with his duties, will begin to regress even more (regression is a protective mechanism of the psyche that returns a person to lower stage of development of his feelings and behavior).

It is better to use more accessible situations, for example, cook dinner yourself, then clean up, do an unscheduled major cleaning, go shopping and buy only what you need, go and pay bills, move out from your parents or stop living at their expense. There are a lot of such situations in life, they sometimes seem insignificant, but one who knows what an infantile character is understands how infantile personalities behave in such cases, how burdensome these situations are for them.

Psychologists often advise too serious people to wake up the inner child. Be open, cheerful, childishly naive. But what about those who are stuck in childhood?

Behind the complex term "infantility" lies an elementary reluctance to grow up.

A two-meter bearded man may well turn out to be a sissy, and an adult woman - a lonely and lost girl.

How is infantilism manifested? Is it possible to get rid of it? And why do people who are no longer 16 on their passports behave worse than teenagers?

Infantile behavior is characteristic of both men and women. Infantilism is not a congenital defect and not a serious illness, but the result of improper upbringing.

If the baby fails to disassemble the toy, he breaks it. Not going to puzzle? - The child will leave him, burst into tears and run to his mother.

The subconsciousness of adult infants works according to the same scheme: “Ahh, the report does not converge! This is a catastrophe. I need to call my mother, the chief accountant, she will help. And if not, I’ll quit, run away, leave for a desert island.”

Childhood in the behavior of an adult looks strange and awkward. Psychologists say that parents are 100% to blame for such deviations, who did not allow the child to make their own decisions, overprotected, suppressed his personality.

As a result, a person does not even try to become independent. Take a session yourself? Well, I do not. Dad has acquaintances in the administration, he will decide everything.

Why should I learn to cook? There is a mother who will come and make a three-course dinner! She is happy to feed her son.

It's funny, but society considers women who behave like little girls (naughty, shift responsibility to others) the norm.

But if a man gives up, they put the stigma of “sissy” on him and bypass the tenth road.

Signs of infantilism in an adult

Immaturity manifests itself in different ways. However, general signs of infantilism can be identified.

A responsibility. Her infantile person will avoid like fire. All his life, his mother made decisions for him: which institute to go to, what to wear, what to get involved in ...

Some hyper-caring parents even bring them to work by the hand! In a responsible position, a person feels as if he has been thrown into the open sea, but has not been taught to swim.

In 90 cases out of 100, it won't last even a couple of months. But there will always be someone else to blame.

Independence? No, I haven't heard. An elementary situation: the Internet suddenly disappeared. What will an adult do? To begin with, at least check the connection and reboot the router.

Then he will find the phone number of the support service and will understand the situation. Myself! No advisors.

The behavior of the infant: “Everything is lost, you need to call mom / dad. I don't even know the phone number of the provider.

Addiction. The “eternal child” has its own opinion buried somewhere very deep.

It is more important for him what others, friends, parents think. He would rather listen to the advice of his grandmother on the bench than to the voice of his mind.

After all, someone else's opinion is correct. That's how he was taught.

credulity. Convincing an infantile person that he is right is as easy as taking away a candy from a baby.

This is the perfect victim for scammers. A man-child can easily be sold a coffee maker that has been gathering dust in a warehouse for three years, as a novelty of this season.

The main thing is to broadcast with a smart look and appeal to the opinions of experts. The Infante will not resist!

Loneliness. Infantile people are afraid to be alone. It's not about phobias or lack of communication.

With the team somehow calmer. A minimum of responsibility, someone strong and decisive plans everything, and the infanta is good and on the sidelines.

Alone, you have to solve overwhelming tasks: what to eat today, what movie to watch, where to spend the evening ...

Emotionality. Children do not know how to control their emotions - such a psychological feature.

An experienced mother always understands when a child is sad, happy, lying or worried. It's written all over his face, in the truest sense of the word.

Since the development of infantile people stopped in childhood, it is not difficult to “read” their emotions.

They do not know how to hide their state of mind, and the reaction to a particular event is very easy to predict.

How is infantilism manifested in men?

Do you think women complain in vain that real men are dying out like dinosaurs?

"Same-sex couples" - this is how families are jokingly called in which mothers and grandmothers are engaged in raising a son.

“Son, did you eat?”, “Granddaughter, I packed a bag for you to the institute” - with their overprotective relatives they destroy everything masculine in the boy.

At first, his mother decided everything for him, now his wife, and everything suits him! So why do women think that this will change after marriage?

Meet the boy Leshenka, thirty-eight years old. According to the passport, he grows up, but in fact - no.

Pay attention to these signs inherent in infantile men.

• Inertia, unwillingness to make important decisions.
• Conflict. In everything, the infant man will blame you, society, fate, but not himself.
• Unwillingness to run a household, work, participate in the upbringing of children.
• An immature boy cannot live without chats, social networks and online games.
  He may seem advanced and not wanting to lag behind progress, but in fact he simply does not know other entertainment.
• Often, infantile men choose older wives - they shift all responsibility on them.

An infant man can be a witty conversationalist, a good worker, but an absolutely irresponsible father and husband. It is not at all necessarily a drone and a gigolo, just an immature person.

How is infantilism manifested in women?

Sit in a cafe with friends, go shopping, find another sponsor... The interests of "eternal girls" are unpretentious and limited. They are unlikely to discuss with you the philosophical treatise of Confucius or the problem of global warming.

It's funny, but men like such women. It is easy to spend time with them, you can relax and quickly strengthen your authority.

But the wives and mothers of them are unimportant. Well, a girl who has not made a single independent decision in her life cannot be responsible for her husband and child!

How to recognize an infantile woman?

• She will look for a strong man, a kind of “daddy”, who will solve all problems with one phone call and the rustling of bills in her wallet.
• Unlike a sissy, an infantile woman skillfully uses her weaknesses. In a sense, being insecure and childishly naive is beneficial to her.
  The chosen one did not buy another fur coat - the woman's lips are already trembling, and her eyes are filled with tears ... This is a powerful weapon against men.
• Infanta women often speak in a high voice and even dress like teenagers.
• They give all the reins of power to a man and do not participate in family affairs.
  “Oh, you are so strong, do it yourself” - combining flattery with a request, they skillfully evade responsibility.

How to get rid of infantilism? 5 steps to success

Only the person to whom it interferes with life can get rid of infantilism!

If the infant has already become close to his shell, skillfully shifted responsibility onto the shoulders of others and does not consider this a problem, even the most brilliant psychologist will not be able to help.

How to overcome infantilism?

Step 1: Awareness. The thought should knock on the head that infantilism is not just a beautiful and complicated word, but an obstacle to a happy life.

You need to understand that the problem comes from childhood is not solved in a couple of days. You will have to work on yourself.

And not always the methods will be pleasant. If you can't handle it yourself, you can contact a professional psychologist. Just remember: he will not decide anything for you.

Step 2: comfort zone. It's hard to be brave and independent when you return home - and there your mother is already pouring freshly brewed borscht and lovingly hanging up your linen.

Chicks are considered adults when they themselves can fly out of the nest and get their own food.

Why have you still not found the strength to leave your parental nest? Cozy, comfortable, no need to think about tomorrow?

But in the same Germany, children leave their parental home immediately after coming of age. And they achieve everything themselves! And you can.

Yes, the first days will be difficult, but life will teach you how to cook dinner and use the washing machine.

Step 3: Decision Making. Are you used to calling your parents, husband/wife, friends in a difficult situation?

You are an adult who does not shy away from difficulties. Mom will not come to understand why the boss deprived you of the bonus!

And dad can’t always work as a plumber and fly to you at the first call. Decide for yourself what to eat for breakfast, what color jacket to buy, which companies to send resumes to ...

Who else but you knows your desires and needs? Just stop suppressing them and learn to listen to yourself.

Step 4: Self Realization. You can’t call yourself an adult and beg your dad for money for travel or a movie.

You can come up with a thousand excuses: no education, no hire, all bad - I'm good ...

But there are still thousands of doors in the world that you have not yet knocked on! And for everything to work out, you need to send out resumes and go to interviews, and not philosophize while lying on the couch.

Step 5: Responsibility for others. For a wife, a child, subordinates, elderly parents ...

Someone is helped by a sharp emotional shake-up: moving to a foreign country, a new job, the birth of a child.

Do not underestimate the instincts of self-preservation: in a critical situation, they work at 200%. Even a weak and insecure person finds the strength to make fateful decisions!

Summing up

Infantilism is not just a beautiful word, but a problem that interferes with life. And the sooner a person realizes this, the easier his further path. It consists of five steps:

• awareness;
• exit from the comfort zone;
• independent solutions;
• self-realization;
• responsibility for another.

Have you met infantile people?