How to become an individual. How to be an individual

Individuality in itself is neither good nor bad. Where everyone lives according to patterns and like everyone else, a special person who has retained his individuality is perceived by others very ambiguously: either as a wow-chosen one, like a white crow.

If everyone is decent, and you are special, do you need such an individuality?

At the same time, most people want to be individuals, as well as to understand what traits and characteristics make up the individuality of people next to us.

Individuality is needed for those who want to distinguish themselves from others - strangers and not loved ones. You are a gray mass, and I am an individual!

The concept of "individuality" is useful in psychotherapy: this concept can reassure a flawed person, with a bunch of shortcomings: "You are not flawed, you are special!"

If you form a brand as a search for your Individuality, then you can get long-term customers. The theme of individuality is now held in high esteem. Today, there are regularly books under titles like "I am a brand", dedicated to how to competently promote your individuality. In general, this is a useful skill - individuality pays well (provided that it is "chosen" and not "white crow"). A successful person must be able to clearly demonstrate his individuality, and if necessary, hide it and merge with the masses.

At one of the trainings we had a participant who could become invisible. Later we learned that he was a member of the special services, and it was a professional skill - to lose his individuality, to become like everyone else and thereby disappear from the spotlight. What did he do specifically? Basically, he made a dull look, alternated laxity and lethargy, plus he stooped a little. Sad for a society in which, in order to merge with the mass, you need a dull look and lack of posture ...

Nikolai Berdyaev

It is generally accepted that every person is a person, regardless of what qualities and character traits he possesses. It is difficult to disagree with this, but it can and should be added to this that a person, in order to remain a person, must necessarily develop. After all, we call a personality, first of all, a unique, special, interesting person who is not like other people, who has rare abilities and a rich inner world. But without development, without work on oneself, a person will not go far from other people, he will be the same as everyone else. And if a person does not differ from other people, if he does not have special qualities inherent only to him, then we can call him a personality with a very big stretch. However, the question arises - why should each of us be different from other people, why become a person, for what purpose, for what benefit? This is what I will tell you, dear readers, in this article. I will tell you about how to develop a personality and why it should be developed. Believe me, the benefits of such development are very great.

Why develop your personality

To understand why a person needs to develop a personality in himself, it is enough to take a closer look at what is happening in our lives. What is highly valued in this world? It is obvious that everything in it is valued, which, firstly, we need, and secondly, what is not enough. What is in short supply is valuable. Do you agree? Moreover, what is interesting, sometimes what is not enough, we may not really need it, but we are still drawn to it. We love everything rare and exceptional, because we ourselves want to be so. But something that is very much, even if it is something very useful for us, we don’t really appreciate, and sometimes we don’t appreciate it at all. An interesting trait of the human personality, isn't it? Someday I'll explain to you why we behave this way. For now, let's get back to the crux of our issue. So, how do you become a valuable, and at the same time, a sought-after person, so that other people need you, so that they pay attention to you and love you? To do this, you need to become special, not like everyone else. You need to become more interesting, more useful, better, and even, let's say, more unusual than other people. You can achieve this in different ways, you can work on your wrapper, that is, on your appearance, or you can set yourself a more difficult and serious task - to change, or rather, develop your inner content. It's not an easy job, to be honest. But it needs to be done so that you are appreciated, that you are needed, that it is difficult to replace you, and so on. Do not forget - what is rare is valuable. And what is valuable is loved and cherished.

People will begin to pay more attention to you, and you will be more respected if you can develop rare and useful qualities for people, if you become an interesting, bright and even a little mysterious person. Good prospect? That's the thing, it's good. After all, we all want to be appreciated, loved, respected, paid attention to us, admired, needed, and so on and so forth. It's nice and helpful. But let's think about why we appreciate, love, respect? Why should other people give us their precious attention, for what benefit? What is so special about us? What personal qualities of ours can people around us admire? This, friends, each of us should think carefully on our own. Many of us may think very well of ourselves and think that there are no others like them. And this is good - you need to have a high opinion of yourself, no doubt about it. It boosts our self-esteem. But trust me, other people may think otherwise. They may see in us a completely different person, not the same as we see. How important it is for us is another question. We live in a society that, whether we like it or not, must accept us, or rather, we must be able to become part of it, because we depend on this society. We are all dependent on each other. And the point here is what place each of us will take in society. Here, in order for this place to be as good as possible, a person needs to become a person not only for himself, but also for other people. Let's now find out what we need to do with ourselves in order to develop a personality in ourselves.

How to develop your personality

So, if you agree with all of the above, then I think you are interested in learning about how you can develop a personality in yourself. Friends, if I tell you that personal development is a simple matter, I will be lying. And I don't want to lie. And I will not. So no, it's not easy. And I think that not unfortunately, but fortunately, this is not easy to do. After all, if the development of a person's personality were a simple matter, such a thing as working on oneself would simply not exist. Work is not the most pleasant word, you see. We associate it with tension, with workload, with stress, sometimes with pain, and not with pleasure and joy, unless you love your job, like me, for example. Be that as it may, in any work there is a pleasure, there is a joy, and those of you who are doing what you love are well aware of this. Working on ourselves is a special pleasure that we experience when we understand what benefits our efforts bring to us. Therefore, working on oneself in order to develop a personality in oneself is pleasant, interesting, fun. You can get high from this. Therefore, it is not so scary that this is not an easy job, the main thing is to understand how interesting and useful it is.

What should be done? Learn, acquire new skills, play sports, as well as interesting and creative activities, make your life and the lives of other people better. Here is what you need to do to develop your personality. This is your work on your body and mind, which makes you a more perfect person, and of course, different from others. The main question here is not what should be done, but how to do it. And about how to do this - how to work on yourself, how to develop yourself, a huge number of books and articles have been written. And each of these books and articles offers its own recipe for personal development, although many of them are similar to each other. This is how this recipe will turn out to be more accurate and effective - the faster you will be able to develop in yourself such a personality, the analogue of which will be impossible to find. And the quality of your personality can and certainly must be such that society as a whole or individual people value you very highly. To do this, you must be useful to people, society, interesting and unique. What is rare is valuable, remember, right?

I will give you my recipe for how to develop a personality in yourself, so that you also have it in mind when deciding how you should work on yourself. Who knows, maybe he's the best ever. Why not, I've been dealing with this issue, in fact, all my conscious life. I think, friends, that you need to start with psychology. Yes, yes, I understand, this is not the first time I am talking about this, or rather, I am writing. And you, in turn, can say that again this sandpiper praises his swamp, as if nothing else in the world exists except this psychology. Of course, there is, but, friends, I praise what I praise, namely, such a science as psychology, not because I do it, but because it really gives us a lot - it allows us to develop in ourselves valuable for qualities for ourselves and for other people, thanks to what points us to them. That's why I myself began to study it, because I saw how valuable it is for a person, both from the point of view of knowing himself, and from the point of view of knowing other people. You can't improve yourself without understanding how you are, right? And how will you know about it? Well, well, there is biology, anatomy, medicine, anthropology and a host of other sciences about a person that studies his body and mind. There are many of these sciences. But if we narrow our view on this question, then we can reduce everything to those sciences that study the human body and those that study his soul and mind. And these are the things we need to develop in order to make ourselves better. Here, psychology, basically studies the soul and mind of man. And this, as you can, is not so much to know as to feel - very important elements of a human being. And since they are important, you need to work on them in order to develop your personality - after all, that's what we need, right?

Therefore, when I say that you need to study in order to develop a personality in yourself, you must understand what exactly you need to learn in the first place. If you want to improve, say, some technical device or come up with a new one, you can start studying physics, mathematics, engineering, and so on. If you have a goal - to come up with, let's say, a new medicine for mankind, you should start studying chemistry and biology, other sciences related to medicine. Well, if you want to understand yourself and other people and want to develop the best, strongest, most valuable qualities in yourself, then what else, if not psychology, I can offer you to study. The question here is - what kind of person do you want to become, for what do you want to be valued and respected, for what knowledge and skills? To understand this, take a closer look at our life and answer the question for yourself - which people in it are the most popular, who are most loved, appreciated and respected, and for what? And then think about how you can become one of those people - what do you need to study for this? Maybe you don't want to go my way, okay, I don't insist. Then choose your path - find, invent, choose your calling, as it suits you. After all, you still need to study in order to become a valuable person, and for this you need to study well, very well. And in order to study well, you need to have a great desire to achieve something. What do you want to be good at, what do you want to achieve? Do not rush to answer this question, think - this is not an easy choice.

In general, the more you can do everything that you don’t know, or know how, but other people do much worse than you, the better. After all, being a person does not mean, for example, having your own opinion, as many of us are being told today, since it may well turn out to be incorrect and even absurd. Why then have it, if you can borrow someone else's, more correct, more accurate and much more useful for us opinion? To be a person means to be a useful person, useful both for oneself and for others. Even if you are different from other people and have charisma, you will not necessarily be a person for other people. After all, not every person is valuable, even if it is unique. A person can be quite unusual, unique, interesting, but at the same time harmful. We can accept such a person, and even partly admire him as a person, but at the same time, if he harms us, and not benefits us, then we will inevitably wish that this person was not in our life. Therefore, I think it is necessary to work on oneself in such a way as to ultimately become a very useful person for society and be in demand by it. This will greatly simplify and improve our lives. Therefore, one should approach one's development from the standpoint of one's own interests and the interests of the society in which we live.

Let's now talk about our shortcomings - after all, everyone has them. We need to eliminate our shortcomings, if possible, and skillfully hide them if necessary. You see, a person with a lot of flaws does not seem unique. Whereas the image of an ideal person who can be admired, who can and should be equaled, who can be loved and appreciated, lives in the head of each of us. We want to see someone as the perfect person, someone other than ourselves. Is the ideal not achievable? Maybe. But you need to strive for it in order to at least seem like an ideal person, and therefore rare, and therefore valuable, which means one who needs to be loved, valued, respected, protected. An ideal person is, without a doubt, a person, even if he is ideal in the minds of only a few people, or even in the mind of one single, but very valuable person for him. Therefore, our shortcomings are, to such and such extent, our enemies, with whom we must constantly fight, raising our cultural and intellectual level. Let other people behave naturally, the way they want. And you behave in the right way to make a positive impression on people, and at the same time on yourself. You will start to respect yourself more, and people will respect you more if your behavior meets the highest standards. Therefore, be sure to develop self-discipline in yourself, because for the development of personality - this is a necessary work. Not circumstances, not other people, should control your behavior so that it is acceptable - you have to do it. Personality is not an object, but a subject. Therefore, the individual himself determines the norms of his behavior, based on the characteristics of the society in which this individual lives.

And finally, the last thing you need to develop the right attitude towards in order to develop a personality is responsibility and independence. Much has been said and written about this, so much that it is somehow even inconvenient for me to repeat it directly. But, either it is said wrong, or it is written wrong, or people simply do not listen to what is said and written, but for some reason there are no more independent and responsible people in our society. Therefore, it is a sin not to discuss this issue again. I am sure that my work will also contribute to the development of individuals and society as a whole. What else can be said about responsibility and independence? And I can say this: it is quite obvious, at least for me, that a person determines his own life path, because he is a person, and not a statistical unit and not something that can be generalized. Therefore, a person who wants to become a person must be free in his soul, in his head and in general within himself in order to do what a free person can do - to choose. When you have a choice, and you always have it, you just can’t always see it and don’t always want to see it, you can consider yourself a free person, but on the condition that you yourself make your choice and will be fully responsible for it . So true freedom is within us, and this is the only freedom that no one will ever take away from us without our consent. But in order to have it, or rather, to use it, you must yourself be responsible for your life. There is nothing complicated in this, just as there is nothing terrible, but you need to tune in to such an attitude to life, understanding all the benefits that you can get from such a life. And believe me, there are a lot of advantages from the fact that you will be a responsible and independent person. And the main of these advantages is the freedom of choice I have already mentioned. You will always have the opportunity to get out of any absolutely impasse in which you may, by the will of fate or because of your own decisions, find yourself, because you will have a choice - a choice of how to act. People who are not free in their souls have no such choice, because other people decide everything for them. And you will have it if you do not refuse to bear responsibility for yourself and your life. In life you will have everything - both successes and failures, and joy, and suffering, and victories, and defeats, and much more that will please and upset you. All this you need to accept as a result of your choice, your decisions, your activities. Even if this is not so, even if we are to a large extent dependent on circumstances and other people - we, you friends, do not need to refer to this. Do not convince yourself that someone else in your life plays a more important role than yourself, for this is a weakness, this is an addiction, this is a lack of freedom that kills your personality.

Take responsibility for everything that happens in your life on yourself and for yourself first of all. Do not do this for other people, for them you can play any kind of performance, but for yourself. Be responsible and independent for yourself in order to be free, because only a person who is free in his soul can become a person capable of what most other people are not capable of, shifting responsibility for their lives to everything and everyone. If you shift responsibility to others, you will give them power over yourself, which means you will lose your freedom, which means you will not become a person. And I think you deserve to be! You are already a person, since you have read this article to the end, since you have made the necessary efforts to start moving in the right direction. Therefore, it remains for me to wish you only one thing - do not stray from the chosen path, keep moving, develop a personality in yourself - this is work for a lifetime, but, believe me, it is very generously rewarded. Determine for yourself the purpose for which you should do this work and let it inspire you.

Man makes himself. This needs to be known and remembered. And do not expect that the process of personal development is an innate trait. You need to work on yourself, and a lot. How to become a person: what you need to know and do for this - we'll talk about this later.

Terminology

Initially, I want to understand the terminology. So, what is personality and how does it differ from ordinary Homo sapiens? Man is a special generic concept that indicates the relation to the highest stage of development of the living. Personality is an individual, which is the result of mental activity. It is important to remember that it has a whole range of socially significant elements that are successfully implemented in public life.

Can a person not be a person?

Before considering how a person, it should be noted that there are two opinions about whether each person can become one.

1. Some argue that in development and development, each living unit of Homo sapiens becomes a person to one degree or another.
2. Another group of specialists testifies that there is a circle of people who cannot be called a person. Such people in the process of their development do not develop, but degrade.

That is, as a small conclusion, I would like to say that, in fact, the formation of a person is a process of assimilation of norms and values ​​that are relevant for a particular society.

The formation of personality: what is needed

It's time to figure out how to become a person. What do you need to know or be able to do? It is important to remember that the main thing in this case is the presence of the following points:

• Self-awareness. That is, how much a person feels in himself the strength and desire to improve, change. Here such a concept as self-confidence follows inseparably (not self-confidence, which just prevents a person from becoming a full-fledged personality).
• You need to understand that a person is responsible for all his actions. We must hope and rely only on ourselves, not expecting help from outside.
• A person is an independent person. Not from other people, not from circumstances.
• And most importantly, be able to admit your mistakes and be flexible. Principles are good, but you need to be able to give in, lose.

Auxiliary tools

Understanding how one becomes a person, it should be noted that this will require special auxiliary tools. So, these are specialized books or other publications, various thematic trainings. And of course, communication is very important. To do this, you can seek help from certain specialists who will help you cope with this process. It can be a psychologist, a coach or another person who knows how to properly motivate.

The process of becoming a person

Psychologists have provided two simple steps that illustrate how to become a person:

1. You need to look under your mask. That is, to be naked in front of oneself, to understand who a person really is, throwing away all the images. This search is the most important stage of formation.
2. Feeling is the next step. In moments of strong emotional stress, a person becomes who he really is. Forming the right self at such moments is an equally important stage.

personality traits

Are there certain signs that define a person as a person? So, psychologists distinguish the following points:

• Openness to new experience. A person constantly tries something new, learns and develops in new directions for himself.
• Individuals are aware of the capabilities of their body and fully trust this feeling. Personality knows the measure in everything.
• A full-fledged person ceases to seek approval or evaluation from the outside. Such people have a so-called internal locus, where personal value judgments of everything that happens are formed.

A little about the creative personality

Very often people are interested in the question: how to become Here, in addition to working on yourself, you also need a bit of talent. If it is, that's great. After all, a creative person is a socially developed individual who has certain creative abilities or simply creates. If nature has not given the inclination to sing or draw, you can successfully do something that does not require special skills. So, you can easily learn how to embroider according to patterns, weave baubles, bracelets or make origami figures. Such types of creativity have instructions, following which you can create beauty yourself.

A little about an attractive personality

I would also like to talk a little about how to become an attractive person. Or - in other words - charismatic. However, you need to understand what exactly will be discussed. After all, it's not about external attractiveness, but about that very charisma. That is, in a complex of such signs as self-confidence and natural charm. How to become an attractive person, what needs to be done for this?

• You have to have some optimism.
• Having a sense of humor is important.
• Attractive individuals are successful people. These are not only the rich, but also those who have achieved everything on their own.
• And, of course, these are strong-willed people.

A little about an independent person

Having understood how to become an interesting person, you must not forget that you also need to be an independent person. This does not mean that we should refuse the help of others. But you need to rely only on yourself, not expecting help from outside. Independent individuals have an influence which is simply impossible from the outside. Such people always find a way out of a difficult situation, learn not only from their own, but also from other people's mistakes. And most importantly, they know how to admit personal mistakes and apologize.

A person's style is determined by the selection of clothes, accessories, shoes, makeup. All this together creates a unique image of a woman. Today we will talk specifically about women, because the representatives of the weaker sex traditionally pay more attention to their appearance. Every girl wants her style to be unique and original. Unfortunately, girls often copy the images of pop and movie stars, and this does not always look interesting. Today we will talk about how to find your unique style and how to become individual. This is not so difficult to do, you just need to take time for yourself.

• Your image should match your inner state. Do not be guided only by fashion and prestige. For example, not everyone feels comfortable in mini-skirts and breathtaking stilettos. If you feel constrained and uncomfortable, then your image will be spoiled, no matter how beautiful you are. If you like informal clothes - ripped jeans, sneakers, then you are unlikely to fall in love with a strict business suit.
• Try on different looks. Look through fashion magazines, look for inspiration in films, books, in different eras. What kind of women do you admire? How do they look? Remember: your task is not to copy someone else's style, but to choose the perfect image for yourself. Write down everything that you like and what you would like to embody in your image.
• Analyze which colors suit you. Stylists recommend focusing on your color type: autumn, winter, summer and spring. Either warm or cold shades can suit you. Find multi-colored pieces of fabric and apply them to your face one by one. What color makes your face fresher, brighter, more expressive?
• Think about what impression you want to make: light, sophisticated or passionate, strong? Romantic? Amazon? Maybe a girl from the 30s? You can be anyone. The main thing is that this image really inspires you. It is not necessary to dwell on one image - a woman can be different and unpredictable.
• Don't limit yourself to clothing choices. Pay attention to accessories, hairstyle, shoes and other details. Everything must follow the same style.

You may also be interested in the article

The child comes into this world already unique, with a set of typological and genetic features inherent only to him, and in the process of socialization becomes a personality with an individuality, which, according to the Russian psychologist A.G. Asmolov must be defended in society.

What is individuality?

Humanity as a species, in general, has many unifying characteristics: gender, race, eye and hair color, etc., but there are parameters that distinguish a particular person and are fully manifested in the process of socialization of the individual. Individuality (from lat. individual- individual) - these are the distinctive features of each person manifesting themselves in uniqueness and originality:

• mental processes;
• temperament
• thinking;
• appearance;
• patterns of behavior;
• personal interests.

Individuality in sociology

The personality of a person is an integral link in the development of society as a whole. The social structure, with its norms and rules, has a direct impact on the formation of the individual and unites people as carriers of this society. The manifestation of individuality in sociology can be expressed by variations in life strategies in the course of self-realization - they are different for everyone due to the experience gained.

Individuality in psychology

Scientific psychology divides the development of a person into certain stages, during which a person acquires certain neoplasms (abilities, skills,). From childhood, going through crises (1, 3 and seven years old), the child learns many vital things, and reveals the first talents. Individuality is - in psychology, three integrated forms of development:

• ontogeny - the individual development of the organism;
• disclosure of personal properties -;
• formation of professional realization and competence.

Modern psychology considers the individuality of a person as a complex multidimensional system with its inherent laws. The most important indicator of the successful manifestation of individuality is the creative energy of the individual, which is based on a creative basis. The formed individuality can be tracked by the contribution (spiritual, material) that a person makes to social development.

Signs of individuality

A person is born with his own tasks, aspirations and mission. The environment, starting with the parental family and ending with society, introduces its own restrictions in the form of prohibitions, norms, attitudes and traditions. As an element of society, people carry these correspondences in themselves and are similar in this. Then how is the formation of the uniqueness of the individual? The concept of individuality has many levels, the integrity of which can only be measured with the help of mathematical statistics. Factor personality includes signs:

• features of the cognitive sphere (non-trivial thinking, imagination, memory);
• extraordinary abilities;
• the rich "inner" world of a person, which is formed in the course of personality development;
• intrinsic value;
• integration and activity in society: the establishment of unique interpersonal relationships that are peculiar only to a particular person;
• creativity arising from the personal unique perception of the world;
• self-realization through personal contribution to the culture and spiritual development of the city, country, world;

Is individuality good or bad?

People are used to dividing things, events, phenomena into "black" and "white". Everything has its polarity. The qualities that characterize a person can be in excess, becoming sharply negative by the standards of society, and a person's individuality is no exception. The individual style of the artist and the individual "handwriting" of the criminal are colored with different shades of moral attitude. Individuality, turning into eccentricity, causes people, at least, bewilderment.

Does the collective suppress individuality?

Human individuality at a certain stage of the path needs a group where it can flourish and be realized. A person begins to grow professionally, to excel in the results of activities or in the quality of work of the "middle peasants" of the team - a conflict is formed between the group and the individual. A pronounced individuality irritates the rest of the team members, who are mediocre in their duties. Another development of the scenario takes place in creative teams, where the individuality of the individual is only welcome.

What is the difference between an individual and an individual?

The concepts of individuality and the individual are in the same row in relation to the descriptive characteristics of people. The individual is the first definition that can be attributed to a born person, used as a biological term. highlights the differences between seemingly similar concepts:

Individual (lat. - whole, indivisible):

• an individual, a member of society.
• a broader definition that includes a given given by nature - a set of genes, phenotypic features, gender, age, physique.

Individuality:

• a unique set of qualities of a particular individual.
• develops over time: a life-long path of a person with stages of personality formation, self-determination, awareness of one's place in life.

What is the difference between personality and individuality?

The uniqueness of a personality is expressed in its individuality. These two concepts are often synonymously linked. It is impossible to find individuality outside of personality. Psychologists say that it is much more difficult to become a person, individuality is already inherent in every person, and only a fully formed personality can fully reveal its individuality to society. In the psychological context of the definition, individuality and personality have differences:

Personality:

• formation occurs throughout life during interaction with society;
• a mature person with established views and opinions on life;
• has stable characteristics of qualities that remain even under changing environmental conditions.

Individuality:

• a person receives with birth and each has its own;
• helps a person stand out from the crowd, but at the same time he himself may not be a person;
• often changes under the influence of society.