How to let go of a loved one who died a long time ago. Why you need to release the dead

Instructions

Yes, it’s very difficult for you now. But try to call for help anyway. common sense, logic. Tell yourself: “The irreparable has already happened. Tears and grief can’t fix anything.” Think about who would be better off if you hopelessly undermine your health or psyche? Certainly not to your family and friends. You must pull yourself together, if only for the sake of preserving the memory of the deceased.

Very often such a difficult experience is a consequence of feelings of guilt. For example, you somehow offended the deceased or did not give him due attention and care. Now you constantly remember this, you are tormented by belated repentance, tormented by remorse. This is understandable and natural. But think again: even if you are really guilty before the deceased, is grief really the best means of atonement? There are so many people around who need help. Do something for them, help. Make amends with good deeds. You will find where to put your strength. This, by the way, will help take your mind off painful thoughts and torment.

If you are a practicing Christian, try to find solace in religion. After all, according to Christian canons, only the body is mortal - a mortal shell, and the soul is immortal. In those cases when you are experiencing a very difficult time, remember the words: “Whom the Lord loves, He early calls to Himself.” And also that the child’s soul will certainly go to heaven.

Pray for the deceased, often bring memorial notes to church. If you feel that you still cannot let him go, be sure to talk to the priest. Don't be shy, ask all the questions that bother you and that you want answered. Even this one: “If God is really good and just, why did this happen?” Often, in order to calm down, you first need to simply talk it out.

Try to convince yourself with this argument: “He loved me, he would be very sad if he saw me suffer, suffer.” Sometimes it helps. There is one more good way- throw yourself into work. The more time and effort it takes, the less there is left for painful thoughts.

The very painful topic of parting with a loved one requires a tactful approach, great internal strength and time. Letting go of a person is catastrophically difficult, especially if feelings remain. But you need to learn this in order to live on and move forward, without him.

Instructions

First, you need to accept the fact that you no longer have a future with this person, and in order to continue living, you need to let him go. Perhaps, awareness of this situation is the most difficult thing in the whole process, since often people simply do not believe in what is happening, harbor hopes and do not let the person go, and this can last for years. If you cannot accept the care of your loved one on your own, be sure to contact a competent psychotherapist.

There is a technique for returning that positive energy of love and affection that you once endowed with your other half. The essence of the work is repeated visualization. Imagine how energy in the form of a golden ray, sun or hearts flows back from it to you.

The fact is that on a psychological level you invested a lot in your partner, and when he left, you were left with nothing. This shows up. Destroy psychological dependence by returning what is yours. After a while you will feel better and you will feel full again.

Keep yourself busy. At first you will have to force yourself, classes will take place in an unconscious automatic mode, and your thoughts will be occupied by the image of the person leaving. But continue, even if everything falls out of your hands - don’t get discouraged, do it.

When, through the practice of returning your energy, your vitality increases, begin

When a person loses a loved one, it is natural that he suffers. Suffering for many reasons. This is also grief for that person, beloved, close, dear, with whom he parted. It happens that self-pity strangles someone who has lost support in a person who has passed away. This may be a feeling of guilt due to the fact that a person cannot give him what he would like to give or owes, because he did not consider it necessary to do good and love in his time.

Problems arise when we do not let go of a person. From our point of view, death is unjust, and very often many people even reproach God: “How unfair are you, why did you take it away from me?” But in fact, God calls a person to himself precisely at the moment when he is ready to move on to eternal life. It often happens that a person does not want to let go of a loved one, does not want to put up with the fact that he is no longer there, that he cannot be returned. But death must be accepted as a given, as a fact. It cannot be returned, that's all. And the person begins to return back to him, you know? These are things that are out of the ordinary, but they don’t happen that rarely. Completely unconsciously, a person begins to grieve, and he wants to, as it were, replace it. The desire for death is so strong in us. We need to reach out to life, but we, oddly enough, reach out to death. When we cling to a person who has died, we want to be with him. But we still have to live here, we have tasks. We can only help him here, you know?

It is more difficult for an unbeliever to let go of the deceased, because he may not even realize that it is so difficult for him to part with this loved one due to the fact that he cannot even give him to God. And a believer is accustomed to placing everything on the will of God, because meetings and partings accompany a person throughout his life.

IN Biblical history There is a plot that has an amazing therapeutic effect on people facing stress and death. It's about about several life fragments of one deeply religious man named Job. Every time, having lost something very important, and there were many significant losses, he repeated: “God gave, God took away.” As a result, God, seeing his strong faith, returns everything in full. This parable is about how, overcoming longing for the departed, we become persistent and strong. A person, in fact, learns to part ways from his very birth. He learns to be with others, identifying himself with society. But at the same time, every time there is a process of disidentification, that is, disconnection, separation. Small man learns to part with his property while still in the sandbox: “My shovel, my basket.” They take it away - he cries, it is very difficult for him to part with what is his. But in reality, there is nothing of ours in the world, you understand? After all, what does “mine” mean? It’s mine, it’s only mine to some extent. At every moment of our lives we must be ready to part with everything that we consider ours. From the point of view of psychology, this is such a phenomenon of human mental life, the acquisition of skills for loss.

There are people who withdraw into themselves and focus on this loss. They seem to intensify these feelings within themselves, and cannot stop the flow of suffering emotions. Since childhood, we get used to parting with grief. Someone gets hung up on this: “This is mine, and that’s it!” So great is the attractive power of this egoistic feeling. And a more mature person knows how to part without pain, without such anguish.

- It turns out that a mature person perceives death more calmly?

He calmly transfers the deceased into the hands of the One who has the greater right to him. Why? Because maturity is determined by the strength of spirit with which we perceive all the difficult circumstances of life. Whatever happens, we must perceive everything indifferently, indifferently. So St. Rev. Seraphim of Sarov spoke. It is necessary that the soul treats everything equally, or, as it were, equally, both sorrows and joys. There is such absolute calm in everything, and in fact it is very difficult.

Perception of loss, spiritual grief and sincere person differs in that sincerity is associated with strain, emotional fracture, passion, and sensuality. On the contrary, the spiritual attitude is equal, it contains helping, quiet love. I remember how my mother died. This was a completely unexpected event. We said goodbye to her, she was leaving for another city, and the next day they called me that she arrived, went to bed and died. She was only 63 years old, I was seeing off a healthy person. It was a shock for me. Because I lost a loved one completely unexpectedly. But she died in a Christian way, calmly, the way everyone dreams of dying. I have heard more than once: “I wish I could lie down and die.” So she arrived, lay down in her bed and died. And when I came to church, I met my priest - he also knew my mother - I told him, and he said to me: “You, most importantly, perceive this death spiritually.”

I was just becoming a church member at that time, and for me these issues of life and death were, so to speak, unclear. Then I had not yet buried anyone close to me. I kept thinking, what does it mean to perceive spiritually? From the literature that deals with the topic of attitude towards death, I realized that to have a spiritual attitude means not to grieve.

If you couldn't give something to this person, you feel guilty. Often people become fixated and suffer from the fact that they did not give something to their loved one. There is something left that begins to worry them. “Why didn’t I add it? Why didn't you do it? After all, I could,” and with this they go into other circles of perception, they go into depression.

In this case, the person begins to feel guilty. And the feeling of guilt should not be masochistic, it should be constructive. The constructive approach is as follows: “I caught myself thinking that I was stuck on feelings of guilt. We need to solve this problem spiritually.” Spiritually, this means you need to go to confession and admit to God your sin against this person. You need to say: “It’s my fault that I didn’t give him this and that.” If we repent of this, then the person feels it.

For example, I would have approached my mother when she was alive and said: “Mom, forgive me, I didn’t give you this and that.” I don't think my mother won't forgive me. In the same way, I can solve this issue, even if this person is not next to me. After all, with God there are no dead, with God everyone is alive. In the Sacrament of Confession, liberation occurs.

- Why go to church if you can tell God everything at home? God hears everything anyway.

For an unbeliever, you can start at least with this, you need to admit your guilt. In psychological practice, the following methods are used: a letter to a loved one. That is, you need to write a letter saying that I was wrong, that I didn’t pay enough attention, that I didn’t love you, that I didn’t give you something. You can start with this.

By the way, very often people come to church for the first time precisely in connection with this circumstance, the death of someone. The first time a person can come to church is for a funeral. And many of them may already know that a spiritual tribute is to put some food on the canon, light a candle and pray for this person. Prayer is the connection between us and the departed person.

One of the synonyms for the word “cemetery” is “pogost”. “Pogost” comes from the word to stay, because we come here to stay. We stayed a little, and then went back to our homeland, because our homeland is there.

Everything is upside down in our heads. We are confused about where our home is. But our home is there, next to God. And we just came here to stay. Probably, the person who does not want to leave the deceased does not realize that this person has already fulfilled some purpose here.

Why don't we let our loved ones go? Because very often we are attached to the physical. If we talk about my feelings, I missed my mother: I really wanted to cuddle, touch this soft, dear person, that’s exactly what I missed having her next to me, I lacked physical closeness. But we know that this person continues to live, because the human soul is immortal.

When my mother died, I decided for myself the issue of spiritual perception of this event, and I managed to quickly recover. I admitted that I didn't do something. I repented and tried to really do what I had not done to my mother. I took it and did it to another person. Reading the Psalter also helps, magpies, because communication with a loved one, even if he is not around, does not stop.

Another thing is that you can’t go into dialogue. It sometimes happens that people even become mentally ill, they begin to consult with the deceased. At some difficult moment, you can ask: “Mom, please help me.” But this is when it’s very difficult, and it’s better not to bother, still, pray, pray for your loved ones. When we do something for them, then we help them. Therefore, we need to do everything possible that is within our power.

When I solved this problem for myself, and I managed to quickly recover, then one day I come to my friend’s grandmother. And her mother also visited her a couple of times. About forty days after my mother’s death, maybe a little more, I come to visit this grandmother, and she begins to calm me down, console me. She probably thought that I was grieving, that I was very worried, and I told her: “You know, this doesn’t bother me anymore. I know that mom is happy there, and the only thing I miss is that she is not physically next to me, but I know that she is always next to me.” And suddenly, I see, on her table there was some kind of vase, like all grandmothers, with some flowers and something else, and I, completely mechanically, pulled out a piece of paper from there. I pull it out, and there is a prayer written in my mother’s handwriting. I say: “We saw it! She is always next to me. Even now she is next to me.” My friend was very surprised. That’s the connection we have, you know?

We must let go, because when we don’t let them go, it’s painful for them, they also suffer. Because we are connected, just like here on earth, when we don’t give a person freedom, we pull him, we begin to control him, we call: “Where are you? Or maybe it's there? Or maybe you feel bad? Or maybe you feel too good?” Our relationships with deceased loved ones are built on the same principle.

- It turns out that in forty days you recovered from the crisis, that is, forty days is a kind of acceptable period. What deadlines will be unacceptable?

If a person grieves for a year and it drags on further, then of course this is unacceptable. For a maximum of six months, a year, you can get sick, so to speak, but more is already a symptom of the disease. This means the person became depressed.

- What if he simply cannot get out of this state?

It doesn’t help, which means it’s time to confess another mistake. Why is despondency one of the seven deadly sins? It is impossible to be sad or despondent, this is cowardice, this is a spiritual illness. Faith is the most powerful and reliable medicine.

- Is there any psychological way to motivate yourself to take the first step? After all, some people just think like this: “I have been grieving for him for so long, and thus I remain faithful to him.” How to overcome this?

You definitely need to do something for the deceased. First of all, pray for him and submit notes to the temple. And then - more, strength will appear again. The path out of depression is necessarily connected with some actions, at least a little, little by little. You can just at least say: “How I love him, Lord! Help him, Lord!” - All. “I suffer for him, I worry about him. Now he has gone into nowhere, but I know that he is not alone there, that he is with You.” You need to at least say something, do something for the sake of this person, but not be inactive.

This article contains: prayer on how to let go of the deceased - information taken from all over the world, the electronic network and spiritual people.

For believers, it is far from a secret that the body is only physical matter. It is generally accepted that the soul is the person himself, and the rest is “clothes”. The body dies, but the soul lives forever. And so it is in almost all religions.

Once upon a time, scientists even conducted an experiment in which they found that after death a person becomes lighter by a certain number of grams. Then they decided that this is what the soul weighs.

For many years now people have been tormented by questions about the soul. About what happens to her “there”, further, after physical death. There are many legends, myths and superstitions. And since the soul is something intangible, all assumptions about it will remain just assumptions.

The most common question that interests many people is how to let go of the soul of your loved one?! Let's first figure out what it means to “let go of the soul”?

What does it mean to “let go of a person’s soul”?

First of all, after the death of a loved one, you need to understand that he did not get into any trouble and nothing can be changed. It simply doesn't exist. Not in this world and in this space. The only thing that has changed is that he cannot say, do, hug, etc. Well, the soul is alive. One can only guess what is happening to her and where she is. For us humans, this still remains a mystery. You need to let go of a person’s soul within yourself. To understand that she is moving further into a world unknown to us.

How to “let go of a person’s soul.”

It is important to understand here that this happens more on a spiritual level. After all, physically we cannot touch the soul. Spiritually, we often “hold” others. We become attached to each other. Also spiritually, not physically. Man is designed in such a way that he always strives for union. He needs connections with other people. We are dependent on each other. And when loved ones “leave” us, whether in literally or in the sense of death, we continue to “hold” them close to us in our hearts, souls and heads.

In order to allow the soul of a loved one to calmly “go” into another world, you need to work on yourself. We need to understand that the soul no longer needs our physical world and it will be better for her not to drown in our tears and suffering, but to move on, knowing that we are okay and that we will remember in a good way. All we can do to help the soul of a loved one during the transition to another world is to pray for him. Different religions have their own rules and canons that people who have lost a loved one must follow.

If we touch slightly on the mystical side, then for the first 40 days after the death of a person, his loved ones should cover all mirrors with thick fabric. It is generally accepted that the soul can get lost in the mirror world and not find the way.

How to “let go of the soul” of an unborn child.

Every person has a soul. And the child who was conceived and was in the womb also already had his own soul. This is the first thing that arises in a person. And if such a tragedy happened that the child did not see the world, this is a huge grief for parents, which not everyone can survive. If people are believers, then they know that the Lord takes the soul when He needs it and, unfortunately, we cannot influence this in any way. Such misfortunes do not just happen. Most likely this is a lesson for failed parents. Or God saved us from something even more terrible. You need to pray for the child in the same way. We need to say goodbye to him, giving him life “there” - in a more perfect world. And when the time comes, you will be given another chance to become parents!

It is also necessary to let go of the soul of an aborted child! It is very important here to ask for forgiveness to him if this choice was made by you intentionally.

Perhaps it will become a little easier if parents who have lost a child while still in the womb perform something like a ritual that they can come up with for themselves. If the pregnancy was short and the child does not have to be buried, then you can do it yourself. For example, bury some toy or something that reminds of this tragedy. Often women keep pregnancy tests. You can even bury it. Lay flowers, say goodbye. It's more psychological technique in order to ease your mental state at least a little.

How to “let go of the soul” of a dead husband or dead wife.

Very often, after the death of one of the spouses, the other begins to fall into a real, protracted depression, literally making a “crypt” or “altar” out of the house, where an incredible number of different photographs of the husband or wife hang. This makes it very difficult for the soul to “leave.” She rushes about and sees herself everywhere. She sees suffering and it is very difficult for her to leave. It will be enough to place one photo with a black ribbon and a candle next to it for 40 days. After which the candle can be taken to the grave and lit there. You can save the photo on your desk or wall, but one thing. Just for memory. And it’s best if this photo is associated with some pleasant event. The main thing is that, looking at him, there is no deep mourning. If this occurs, it is better to remove the photo. After all, one can commemorate and remember without any “attributes” or auxiliary objects.

How to “let go of the soul” of a deceased loved one.

The most important thing is to love! Here the situations are very similar to the previous one, where we talked about spouses. You should also not make “altars” from photographs and gifts. If there are any memorable gifts or toys, then, of course, you can leave them and look at them. You can keep them and remember your loved one, but if this causes more pain, then it is better to take them to the grave, keeping one thing.

How the soul of the deceased is “released” on the 40th day.

On the 40th day after the death of a person, it is customary to visit the church and order a memorial service for the deceased. You can also order a liturgy. In the church they also light candles “for the repose”, while reading a prayer “for the repose of the soul.”

Day 40 is considered very important, just like day 9. On these days, the soul goes through the most difficult tests on the way to “ new world" Throughout the 40 days, relatives tirelessly pray for the deceased, helping his soul. Then it is customary to have a memorial meal, where loved ones gather around a large table, read a prayer at the beginning of the meal, remember and also read a prayer at the end of the meal. And in an amicable way, there should be either very little alcohol on the table or no alcohol at all.

For some nations and religions, it is customary to organize some kind of charity meal or help the homeless on the 40th day after the death of a loved one. Or simply do some kind deed for a beggar or homeless person.

Orthodox Christians know a lot about the miraculous properties of prayers. By remembering the deceased, they help his soul to be cleansed of sins and calmly go to the Kingdom of Heaven, where it will find eternal peace.

Prayers for the deceased are not only a tribute to respect, but also a way to enlist the support of the family for good luck in life. In this way, the living ask God for mercy, since prayers also save our souls, allowing them to be cleansed through sincere faith and repentance. They incite peace, eradicating everything wicked that is happening in our hearts, and promote spiritual growth and development. Prayers also help prepare for a sudden death, because, sadly, no one knows when this hour will come. The souls of the deceased protect those who do not consign the memory of their ancestors to oblivion, but visit the cemetery and order prayer services in the church for loved ones who have left us. To do this, before the liturgy, Christians bring notes with the names of all deceased baptized relatives and close people.

If you don’t know whether your loved one is alive or dead, after a certain time you need to turn to a priest to perform a funeral service for him, so that the soul does not rush around our world in search of a way out. Often the prerequisites for funeral services are prophetic dreams, where missing relatives who died under various circumstances give signs to the living. In such a dream, you can see his torment, a look full of prayer, or even a direct appeal from the deceased with a request to bury his ashes and pray for his soul.

Prayer for the deceased

“Great Lord, support in our lives. Everyone will appear before Your eyes at the appointed hour. In different ways, but invariably at the appointed hour we all stand before Thy judgment. We pray to You, Father, have mercy on the souls of our departed brothers, parents, children and loved ones. Grant them your mercy, just as you forgive the sins of those who sincerely repent. Deliver them from torment, forgive and have mercy on their involuntary sins committed out of ignorance. Just as children ask their parents for forgiveness, so we pray to you for forgiveness. Lord Almighty, we pray to you with sincere faith and for the repentance of all the dead, whose ashes are not buried, whose thoughts are unclear. Grant them a fair trial, but save them from devilish torment. Deliver their souls from eternal wandering on the sinful Earth, take them under your protection. Amen".

Prayer for deceased relatives

“Our all-merciful heavenly Father! I, a sinful servant (name), pray to you in humility. May the souls of my relatives who left our world (names) rest in peace. The servants of God are now in Your power. Their bodies were consigned to the earth, and their eternal souls headed to the Kingdom of Heaven. Accept them and forgive them with all your mercy, forgive them their lifetime sins, voluntary and involuntary, and admit them to eternal communion. Let them watch us, who are alive, and through Your mercy suggest the only true and righteous path. Amen".

Prayers for all the dead over the centuries

“The sinful servant (name), bound by the bonds of sins, asks You, Creator, for forgiveness and cleansing. I came before Your eyes with humility with my troubles, let me pray for the souls of all the dead. For sinners and righteous people, warriors and children, old people and young people. In all ages, souls flock to you and ascend. Don’t leave a single one unattended, and forgive them all their voluntary and involuntary mistakes. Owing life and death to You, I pray for guidance, peace and peace in my heart. Protect me from demonic manifestations during my life, and I will remember everyone who has passed away now, and pay them respect through the words of sincere and cleansing prayer. May it be so forever and ever, and all sinners will turn out to be righteous, and may the blessed Kingdom of Heaven come to earth. Amen".

Do not forget to honor the memory of your family, because everyone devoted to the earth ascends to Heaven, where he continues to watch over his relatives and provide all possible assistance. Visit graves, paying respect, light candles so that the cleansing fire, through prayers and repentance, will free your souls from all sins. Live in peace and don't forget to press the buttons and

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In chapter Religion, Faith to the question What needs to be done to release the deceased? given by the author Lyudmila Mikhailova the best answer is I really sympathize with your grief, I will try to give an answer, as I know, and forgive me if it is too harsh in places.

First I must tell you that Orthodox Christianity and those people who practice clairvoyance are opposite things. Orthodox Christianity is from God. Magic, clairvoyance and so on - from an unclean spirit (demon). That is, the information from these “clairvoyants” is always incorrect, and under no circumstances should you contact them, as this is a great sin. There is no such concept as “letting go of a son” in Orthodox Christianity.

What is happening to you should be understood only as the fact that your son is asking you for help. Probably, in the next world he was not given the best place, but with your prayers you can help him rise to heaven.

Orthodox Christianity says that the most holy prayer is the prayer of a mother for her son, and you, of course, should pray for your son, and therefore, of course, you can help him.

Your son’s words: “Mom, give it to me, give it to me.” “must be clearly understood as the fact that he is asking you for help.

If your son is baptized, then you need to perform a funeral service for him, order prayers for the repose, and be sure to take food products to the church on the funeral table (you can put food on the funeral table that did not have blood on it, that is, milk, eggs, bread, cereals, vegetable oil etc., but meat and meat products are not allowed) and this should not be done once, but for a long period of time, order prayers, and from time to time bring food to the funeral table.

If the son was not baptized, then this is a very difficult question, do not start reading prayers yourself, go to the priest, describe what you wrote above, and ask what to do (as far as I know, the canon is read to the martyr Uar), but do not dare to read it yourself without a blessing, this can only make things worse!! !

Also, I know from the priest that in such cases, and this must be done first of all, you need to feed the birds, and when you throw food to the birds, then mentally ask God to help your son.

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Prayer for a deceased relative, read at home for up to 40 days

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A loved one or loved one who has passed away plunges everyone into grief, melancholy and despondency. People's tears can only ease their pain, without affecting the soul of the deceased in any way. The soul of the deceased is unlikely to be affected by a solid monument, a magnificent and beautiful funeral service, or a prestigious place in the cemetery. Because everything is material. It does not affect God’s spiritual world in any way. The deceased is helped by a memorial prayer for the repose of the soul of the deceased.

In such prayer, the living take a holy part in the salvation of the soul of the deceased. People pray “Rest, O Lord, the soul of your departed servant” and promote God to the mercy of the soul of the deceased. Such mercy is given only at the request of the living. Prayer for deceased relatives also brings salvation to the living.

The whole point is that when praying for the dead, people also attune their souls to a heavenly mood. All this distracts from the fussy and temporary living world and fills people’s memory of death and turns their souls away from evil. Also, such prayer helps the living to hope for an unearthly future, and to refrain from arbitrary sins.

Prayers for deceased relatives also help to dispose the soul of a believing peasant to fulfill the main commandment of Christ - to prepare for exodus at any hour. Remember that the departed also pray for us. And we can receive special help from prayers that have shown their Divine power and found bliss in eternity.

Basic rules for prayer requests for the dead

Funeral prayers for a deceased relative are considered the duty of any Orthodox believer. According to the canons Orthodox Church It is necessary to pray especially diligently during the first forty days after death. Christian church commands the widow to offer a prayer for her deceased husband, children, parents, or just a loved one every day.

The Orthodox Church also commands that names be read according to a special memorial. This is a small book in which the names of deceased and living relatives are preserved. There is even a pious custom according to which family memorials are offered. By reading the names of all recorded relatives, Orthodox believers can remember many generations of relatives who died a long time ago.

Remember that prayers read at home before 40 days for the deceased have a much better effect than after 40 days. In addition, it is worth considering that you can read all the prayers at home. Even those that cannot be mentioned on church service. For example, in church it is forbidden to read a prayer for the unbaptized deceased or for suicides. The main thing is to accurately reproduce the entire text of the prayer book, maintain all intentions and concentration. And under no circumstances should you be distracted by anything.

Worship in the temple

It is necessary to remember a deceased person in the Church as often as possible. This should be done not only on memorial days, but also on any other day.

1. The main prayer is short prayer about deceased Orthodox Christians at the Divine Liturgy. During this process, a bloodless sacrifice is made to God.
2. The liturgy is followed by a memorial service. This ritual is served before the eve - a special table with several candlesticks and an image of the crucifixion. During this process, an offering should be left in memory of the deceased for the needs of the church.
3. It is very important for the soul of a deceased person to order a magpie in the church. This is a liturgical rite that lasts from the day of a person’s death to 40 days. At the end of the fortieth day, it can be ordered again. Long term commemorations can be ordered for six months or a year. And the simplest sacrifice for the deceased is considered to be a candle, which is lit for the repose of a person.

What prayers to read for the deceased at home

Remember that the greatest thing you can do in memory of the deceased is to order a liturgy. But still, we should not forget that you can also perform acts of mercy and pray for them at home.

Praying for the salvation of the soul of the deceased is a sacred duty that is assigned to living relatives. Remember that only by praying for deceased loved ones can you give them the only good they expect. This good will be the remembrance of the Lord.

The Church commands children to say words of prayer for their deceased parents until 40 days after their death. This must be done every day during this period. To do this, just read the following short prayer every morning:

“Rest, O Lord, the souls of Your departed servants: my parents, relatives, benefactors (their names), and all Orthodox Christians, and forgive them all sins, voluntary and involuntary, and grant them the Kingdom of Heaven.”

At the cemetery

A cemetery is a holy place where the bodies of the deceased rest until their future general resurrection. Even during pagan times, tombs were considered inviolable and sacred.

Remember that the grave of a deceased person should always be kept perfectly clean. The cross on the grave is considered a silent preacher of resurrection and immortality. It must be placed at the feet of the deceased so that his face is turned towards the Crucifixion.

Arriving at the cemetery, you need to light a candle and pray. There is no need to eat or drink in the cemetery. It is especially unacceptable to pour vodka on a grave mound. After all, this desecrates the memory of the deceased. Also, the custom of leaving a piece of bread and a glass of vodka on the grave should not be observed. This is a relic of paganism.

The most effective funeral prayers

Next we’ll talk about what prayers to read for the deceased so that the Lord will hear them. After all, prayers for the dead with a load of sins can greatly improve the afterlife of our relatives. And the Lord has always heard very well those who pray not only for themselves, but also for other people.

The widows turn to the Lord with the following memorial prayer:

“Christ Jesus, Lord and Almighty! You are the consolation of the weeping, the intercession of the orphans and widows. You said: call on Me in the day of your sorrow, and I will destroy you. In the days of my sorrow, I run to You and pray to You: do not turn Your face away from me and hear my prayer brought to You with tears.

You, Lord, Master of all, have blessed me to unite me with one of Your servants, so that we may be one body and one spirit; You gave me this servant as a companion and protector. It was Your good and wise will that you would take this servant of Yours away from me and leave me alone. I bow before Your will and I resort to You in the days of my sorrow: quench my sorrow about separation from Your servant, my friend.

Even if you took him away from me, do not take your mercy away from me. Just as you once accepted two mites for a widow, so accept this prayer of mine. Remember, Lord, the soul of Your departed servant (name), forgive him all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, whether in word, or in deed, or in knowledge and ignorance, do not destroy him with his iniquities and do not deliver him to eternal torment, but according to Your great mercy and according to the multitude of Thy compassions, weaken and forgive all his sins and commit them with Thy saints, where there is no sickness, no sorrow, no sighing, but endless life.

I pray and ask You, Lord, grant that all the days of my life I will not cease to pray for Your departed servant, and even before my departure, ask You, the Judge of the whole world, to forgive all his sins and to place him in the heavenly abodes that You have prepared for those who love Cha. For even if you sin, do not depart from You, and undoubtedly the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit is Orthodox even until your last breath of confession; His faith, even in Thee, is imputed to him instead of works: for there is no man who will live and not sin.

You are One besides sin, and Your truth is truth forever. I believe, Lord, and I confess that You have heard my prayer and have not turned Your face away from me. Seeing a widow weeping green, you were merciful, and you brought her son to the grave, carrying her to the grave; thus, having compassion, calmed down my sorrow.

For Thou didst open to Thy servant Theophilus, who went to Thee, the doors of Thy mercy and forgave him his sins through the prayers of Thy holy Church, heeding the prayers and alms of his wife: here and I pray to Thee, accept my prayer for Thy servant, and bring him in to eternal life. For You are our hope, You are God, to have mercy and to save, and to You we send glory with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen!"

Children's prayers for their deceased parents:

« Lord Jesus Christ our God! You are the keeper of the orphans, the refuge of the grieving and the comforter of the weeping. I come running to You, orphaned, groaning, and... crying, and I pray to You: hear my prayer and do not turn Your face away from the sighs of my heart and from the tears of my eyes.

I pray to You, merciful Lord, satisfy my grief over separation from the one who gave birth and raised me, my parent (name); accept his soul, as if it had gone to You with true faith in You and firm hope in Your love for mankind and mercy, into Your Heavenly Kingdom.

I bow before Your holy will, which was taken away from me, and I ask You not to take away Your mercy and mercy from him. We know, Lord, that You, the Judge of this world, punish the sins and wickedness of the fathers in children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren, even to the third and fourth generation: but you also have mercy on the fathers for the prayers and virtues of their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

With contrition and tenderness of heart, I pray to You, merciful Judge, do not punish with eternal punishment your deceased servant, unforgettable for me, my parent (name), but forgive him all his sins, voluntary and involuntary, in word and deed, knowledge and ignorance, committed by him in his life here on earth, and according to Your mercy and love for mankind, prayers for the sake of the Most Pure Mother of God and all the saints, have mercy on him and deliver him from eternal torment.

You, merciful Father of fathers and children! grant me, all the days of my life, until my last breath, not to cease to remember my deceased parent in my prayers, and to beg You, the righteous Judge, to order him in a place of light, in a cool place and in a place of peace, with all the saints , from here all illness, sorrow and sighing have escaped. Merciful Lord!

Accept this day for Thy servant (name), my warm prayer and give him Thy reward for the labors and cares of my upbringing in faith and Christian piety, as He who taught me first of all to lead You, My Lord, to reverently pray to You, in You alone I trust in troubles, sorrows and illnesses and keep Your commandments;

for his concern for my spiritual success, for the warmth of the prayer he brought for me before You and for all the gifts he asked me from You, reward him with Your mercy, Your heavenly blessings and joys in Your eternal kingdom.

For You are the God of mercies and generosity and love for mankind, You are the peace and joy of Your faithful servants, and we send glory to You with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto the ages of ages. Amen".

Death is a natural and inevitable process. All people live and subconsciously wait for death. Someone begins to feel in advance that they will soon leave, someone dies suddenly. When, at what time and under what circumstances the life of each of us will end is already prescribed from above.

Death can be natural - from old age. Or unexpected, fast - an accident can happen to a person. There is a painful death from disease or torture.

How exactly this or that person will die depends only on his karma. Death is inevitable, unpredictable and almost always comes unexpectedly.

Losing a loved one– real grief, which is very difficult and sometimes impossible to survive. But no matter how hard it is, we are obliged to let our deceased relatives go as soon as possible.

What should you do after the death of your loved ones?

1. It is necessary to get rid of all the belongings of the deceased.

This must be done after 40 days from the date of death. Items can be given away, donated or burned. It is also necessary to remove all photographs of the deceased from visible and accessible places. Take photos from walls, chests of drawers, remove them from screensavers on your phone, computer, and take them out of wallets.

While there are things in our environment that remind us of a deceased relative, we consciously or subconsciously think about him, worry, and cry. This way we not only keep the soul of our loved one on Earth, but also create problems for ourselves.

What's happening: an energetic connection is formed between a dead and living person. The deceased is not released, and he is forced to stay close to his loved ones, who worry and cry because of him. Gradually, everyone in the house begins to get sick, as the dead feed on the energy of the living.

Against the background of attachments to deceased relatives, diseases such as asthma and diabetes mellitus develop within 3-5 years. This happens 80% of the time. If this binding is removed, the disease will recede as a consequence.

In my practice, there are cases when diabetes that arose against the background of attachment completely disappeared after 3-5 sessions. But everything is individual.

In some cases, other diseases, such as obesity, may also develop. If an attachment has formed, you will constantly feel tired, lack of strength, and will not be able to force yourself to do anything. Against this background, some people begin to eat a lot to replenish energy reserves, and end up becoming obese.

1. Avoid frequent visits to cemeteries

There are people who like to regularly visit cemeteries and drink alcohol at graves. Some are so overcome with grief that they spend days there.

After visiting the cemetery, a person feels very tired, heaviness, and headache. This happens because the dead feed on the energy of the living, so it is recommended to visit the resting places as rarely as possible.

After the cemetery, it is necessary to wash clothes every time - from underwear to jackets and raincoats. You must definitely take a bath or shower to wash off the cemetery energy and wash your shoes.

Absolutely not drink alcoholic beverages at graves, take some objects, flowers, earth, etc. from there. Otherwise, you can create a connection with the other world. This can also lead to illness.

It is not uncommon for the dead to move in with the living in cemeteries. This is very dangerous for health and life, so try to visit such places as little as possible.

As a rule, souls who cannot find peace in the other world move in. These are the souls of suicides, as well as those who died unexpectedly or violently. We are often contacted by people who have a problem with their home; they suffer greatly, hear voices, and are haunted by hallucinations. In such cases, it is necessary to perform an exorcism.

1. Do not put your belongings in the coffin of the deceased

This VERY DANGEROUS. People who do this get sick within a year and may die if they are not helped in time.

Don’t create attachments for yourself, live in the world of the living! If you put a personal item in a coffin, and after some time you begin to have health problems, there is only one way out - to dig up the grave and remove this item. It is also necessary to carry out energetic work to eliminate the attachment.

1. If possible, cremate the deceased's body.

VERY GOOD not to bury, but to burn the bodies of the dead. Even better is to scatter the ashes. This way you will not be tied to the grave, you will have nowhere to go.

The soul of your loved one will be grateful to you!

No matter how hard it is, you need to understand that death is an inevitable phenomenon. Don't keep your dead close, let them go! There is no place for the living in the world of the dead, and for the dead there is no place in the world of the living. The time will come and we will all leave! But know that death is not the end!

Question to a psychologist:

Hello. The story began in December 2015. At that time, I had been in a relationship for more than a year, everything was leading up to the wedding. I was invited to take part in a competition in one of the city's entertainment centers, where I met another young man (it happened by chance, he was in the company of friends). He asked for my phone number, and I gave it without hesitation, since my boyfriend and I had a little quarrel, and I was angry.

He never called me. Winter has passed and spring is already ending. In May 2016, he and I accidentally texted each other social network, he invited me for a walk. We walked for a long time, but time flew by; I have never had it so easy with anyone. I realized that a person is simply a part of me. He thinks, does, talks like me. I really liked him, but I offered him friendship since I was still in a relationship.

My young man there were problems, and I didn’t want to leave him, because I was grateful to him for everything, although our relationship had long since fallen apart due to misunderstandings and a mountain of contradictions.

I set myself the idea that I would pass the session, deal with all the problems and confess my feelings to that guy. After all, at that moment, all my thoughts were already occupied with him, although I lied to everyone that this was not so.

My plans were not destined to come true. At the beginning of summer he crashed... to death...

I didn’t believe it, I thought it was a conspiracy, I thought it was all fiction, I cried, became depressed, drank alcohol, begged him to take me with him. And now I think about him every day and feel his presence. I think I've gone crazy.

I'm not a stupid girl and I know that I need to move on with my life. At first I didn’t want this at all, but now I just didn’t care about my life. I became very cold, calculating, angry and hypocritical. I have no problem offending people, saying nasty things to them. I don't think about the future. I lead an unworthy lifestyle and have promiscuous relationships. I began to completely not care what would happen to me, because my soul perceives everything neutrally without emotions. I believe that it doesn’t matter what happens to my body in this world, because I will soon go to it, to heaven.

I'm scared. Please help with something...

Psychologist Svetlana Viktorovna Bashtynskaya answers the question.

Ekaterina, hello!

I am sorry for your loss and feel very sorry for you. The death of a loved one is a severe test in life, and it takes time and strength to survive it, because you have to go through pain, grief, anger, fear, regret and other strong feelings.

It so happened that you did not have time to realize your plans with this man, you were just planning to unite with him, dreaming of the future, of happiness. And at one moment everything turned upside down. And in front of you, instead of a bright future, an abyss opened up, an abyss - empty, cold and lifeless. It’s as if the meaning of life has disappeared, the purpose of life - everything has lost its meaning.

Ekaterina, what is happening to you is a process of experiencing loss and grief. This is a normal natural process. Without going through it, it is very difficult to learn to rejoice, love, and live on again.

And the thing that bothers me about what you wrote is that you are directing all the anger towards yourself and your body. You understand that this is not very healthy, you write about it, and you don’t know how to get out of it. It is important to acknowledge your feelings, your anger, and, most likely, your guilt. I may be wrong, and it seems to me that you are blaming yourself for not expressing your feelings sooner, for feeling like you missed out on your happiness, for perhaps if you had done something differently, then he would still be alive. And now you seem to be punishing yourself for it.

And I would like to say that you did everything that depended on you in that situation, you write quite logically about what happened. And I have a question. How do you manage to be angry only at yourself? When is it normal to be angry at others - at your loved one, for leaving you, at the participants in the accident, at other people, at the world, and maybe at God.

The fact that you are scared tells you that you want to move on with your life, because you are still a young girl with your whole life ahead of you, you are smart, strong, brave. And I am sure that your loved one would want all the best for you, he would want to see you happy and loved, he would know that you are not to blame for anything.