This article is written for infantile people who still cannot grow up. In this article I will tell you what infantilism is, who an infantile person is and how to grow up. I will also talk about the reasons for the inappropriate behavior of a mature person. Ask all your questions in the comments below the article.
Infantilism and infantilism
What is infantilism? Of course, you can go to Wikipedia and read there, but all Wikipedia articles are written in scientific language. Therefore, it gets boring. Here I will please you with my humor so that you do not leave me for Wikipedia (Wikipedia will not beat you off from me). Just don't think that I myself infantile person. At the moment I am 23 years old, and I am already considered an adult. Infantilism comes from the Latin word infantilis - childish. This is the preservation of immature development in physical appearance, namely: behavior, character traits that were inherent in the previous stage of age development.
Knowing what is infantilism, we can easily answer the question - who is an infantile person. An infantile person is a child, a person who wants to be like Peter Pan. An infantile person is a person who behaves like a child wherever he is. This is a man who remained a child, despite the fact that he is already over thirty years old. This is a developmental delay.
Knowing what infantilism is, we can easily answer the question - who is an infantile person. Infantile man is a child, a person who wants to be like Peter Pan. An infantile person is a person who behaves like a child wherever he is. This is a man who remained a child, despite the fact that he is already over thirty years old. This is a developmental delay.
There is another version of the definition of infantilism. Do you know how kids behave? They want to get everything at once. Some "Adults" behave the same way. They have a desire to satisfy their needs without giving anything in return. That is, to get everything from life, while doing nothing yourself. Such an attitude to the world can safely be called infantile.
But is childishness considered something bad? Maybe it's cute? The fact is that sometimes I myself behave like a child or an infantile person. I noticed that a lot of people like it. It's just that they don't take you seriously. And if you want people to begin to appreciate you, that is, as a full-fledged and adult person, then you urgently need to grow up.
How to grow up?
To find out how to grow up, we must first learn what adults do. I can safely say that a person automatically becomes an adult when he takes responsibility for everything that happens to him. He becomes doubly adult if he takes responsibility for other people, for example, for providing for his family (that is, for his wife and children), for parents, and even for subordinates in his business.
The first step is to take responsibility for your own life. Don't think about others just yet. An infantile person blames anyone but himself. He thinks that nothing depends on him, and that other people owe him something. This is childish behavior. These people are ignored. So start thinking differently. Start asserting that your life is only in your hands and everything depends on you (at least in most cases).
Actions define a person. Man is what he does. I noticed that with age, interests change on their own, as if someone switched the program. If at the age of 15 I was interested in computer games, superheroes from Marvel Comics, now I noticed how interested I am in my business, girls and my future. Now I rarely play computer games, because they are no longer drawn to them. I can say that in an infantile person this program does not change by itself. In this case, you will have to force yourself to do adult things with your own willpower. For example, get a job, start dating, think about how to create your own business, how to develop in the future. Similar thoughts and ideas are inherent in adults.
To grow up, you need to become independent. To do this, you first need to learn on your own. Not as mommy says, but as you think. Stop being a little sucker. Start solving all your problems yourself. Start making decisions on your own, and not with your mother's feed. Do what you think is right and necessary for you. No need to ask mom for permission like: “Mom, can I take a walk with Natasha today? I'll be home at eight, I promise!". NOOOOO!!! So it doesn't fit. From now on, only you decide for yourself. You can ask your relatives for advice (I allow you), but try to think with your own head.
Great practice if you start living separately. The super exercise to grow up is moving to another city where you will be alone. This method helps not only to grow up, but also to cultivate self-confidence, raise self-esteem, and become a real lion. If there is such a great opportunity, use it.
A person is always influenced by his environment. With whom you lead, from that you will gain. It's time for you to change "Kindergarten" for an advanced team. When I was twenty I went to the theater "Leaf fall". There were children under 15 (some older). I noticed how among the children I myself became a child. I acted like a 10 year old boy. This behavior in the theater is normal. I just remembered it with horror. A twenty-year-old child - that's how I could be described. Change your environment.
Another effective way is to visualize the image of an adult. Under the influence of imagination, you can easily change the model of your behavior. To begin with, make an image of an adult yourself: write down the character traits of an adult, describe his gait, mannerisms, gestures, and so on. Every night when you fall asleep, start imagining yourself as such a character. Later, this image will eat into you, and you will become an adult. This method works 100%. You need to spend from 1 to 3 months.
To grow up, you need to stop whining and complaining about life. If you do this, then you will become an adult. Mostly weak people whine and complain. Adult warriors never do that. They are looking for a way out of the cave, and do not sit straight in it on the priest. This quality is inherent, followed by people. Is the leader an infantile person? You yourself know the answer. Get rid of this bad habit.
That's all. Start using these tips, and then soon you, and you yourself will not recognize yourself. Bye Bye.
infantilism, infantilism, how to grow up
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Good afternoon dear friends!
Often we are faced with two extremes of our own personality. On the one hand, the process of growing up dictates its own rules of behavior and construction of life to us. On the other hand, the child inside us, which allows us to be childish and get genuine pleasure from every day, sometimes goes too far.
How to stop being childish? And how not to turn into a boring parody of one's own nature, living according to the rules and foundations of general, behavioral norms?
To begin with, I would like to stipulate the meaning of the word infantilism itself. So, it means a demonstration of immaturity in development, as well as ignoring the age stages.
In a figurative sense, the word can be replaced by the concept of "childhood" or naivety, manifested both in everyday life and in everyday life. In addition, infantilism is famous for its categorical rejection of a sense of responsibility and the inability to make well-thought-out decisions in a timely manner.
How to recognize the symptoms?
I have highlighted some points that will help to timely recognize the manifestation of such “manners” and eradicate their development:
- Rejection of responsibility. The “big kid” avoids any kind of responsibility or situation in which decision-making depends on him, motivating himself with the thought: “What if it doesn’t work out? And I'll be guilty, I'll be reprimanded! It’s better to do nothing at all and pretend to be furniture! ".
- Dependence on someone else's opinion. Infantile man afraid of criticism, so he often does things he doesn't like, carefully hiding his true opinion. Dependence stereotypes is also inherent in the personality, along with the suggestion of any information. Stand up for your opinion- this is the last thing that comes to the mind of an infantile person;
- Naivety, gullibility, fear of loneliness. Getting rid of loneliness is a task that the hero of our today's article subconsciously pursues. Trying to be everyone's friend, such an individual often falls into the networks of scammers or becomes a victim of deceit. The ideal state for him is a niche in the team. Since it is there that the chance to take responsibility is reduced to zero.
- Spontaneity and emotional instability. Frequent "verbal blunders", lack of diplomacy and tact, as well as the manifestation of burlesque emotional rollercoaster, characterize the bearer of infantilism as a big child. But if in children such qualities are rather touching, then in an adult organism these qualities repel and irritate.
- Spiritual emptiness. A person who has experienced stress, a difficult childhood, or the rejection of a beloved "something" suffers from inner emptiness and pain. Sometimes infantilism becomes defensive reflex and reaction in the fight against the injustice of life.
View from the other side
From a negative point of view, infantilism is a real evil that needs to be eradicated, cast out and sanctified with water.
Blindly following someone else's rules, imposes on us a passion for simplifying and equalizing people under a consumer society and one size fits all: education, marriage, family, and therefore children, therefore - a mortgage, a house, a car and a dog in the backyard.
But what happens if look at the situation from a different angle? What if infantilism is not tomfoolery and "obsession with the cubertate period", from which some cannot get out for years, but upholding a personal vision and lifestyle ?
If you think globally, then each of us is inherent in the manifestation of infantilism in a given situation. Here, I think, it would be more appropriate to strive modify approaches to life and a specific study of the feeling of one's "I".
Everything is about harmony and man is no exception. You should not strive to completely get rid of the "child inside you" by turning into a pensioner when you are 25 years old.
Getting rid of infantilism occurs according to the principle “start living seriously! ". There is logic in this phrase and I want to talk about it in more detail using thesis advice.
- Prioritization. If you really want to bring order in the head and life, then the first thing to do is to build a chain of priorities. Infantilism - comes from childhood. Understanding where the legs grow from and why this behavior pattern haunts you will be easier let go of the past and accept the fact that you have grown.
- Tipping points and changes. It is difficult to change life and habits in one day. Gradual transformation is an appropriate term in the fight against an insidious quality. Go on trips, refuse to support the "old", protective walls in the form of moms, dads, friends and the usual circle of people.
Fill in the gaps in own confidence and strength with new experiences and personal accomplishments. - Plan your "madness". This expression will seem strange to you, but I will try to explain its essence. There are people who are obsessed atypical behavior and outrageous. So you should not break what is the bearing walls of their personality.
Allowing yourself to fool around at the designated times, dates or days, you will be able to compensate for the lack of attention and personal self-realization. - Positive thinking. Of course, without humor and positive attitudes, it is difficult to survive in the battle with yourself or circumstances.
Setting yourself up for a positive result and using affirmations, you can more confidently approach the question of a healthy balance between boredom and childishness. - Self love. To love yourself both for the minuses and for the pluses is the main task of every person on planet Earth. Hatred of negative character traits or qualities gives rise to a deeper problem - self-flagellation and lack of motivation.
Love your antics and antics, rejoice interesting ideas and boldly put it into practice. The child that lives inside every adult seeks to show us the transience of life. Use your strengths and potential wisely!
Friends, that's all. Subscribe to update my blog and recommend it to your friends for reading.
In the comments, tell us what infantilism means to you and what exactly you need to fight?
See you on the blog, bye bye!
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When you watch the American film Stepbrothers, the absurdity of the situation that underlies the plot becomes ridiculous. The main characters are two forty-year-old men who live with their parents, do not work, are completely financially dependent on their father and mother and behave like small children.
However, in life, such a situation, albeit not in such a hypertrophied form, is often encountered. An adult can live separately, have a job, even a family - and still remain infantile. What is infantilism, how to get rid of it and is it worth it - you will find some tips in our article.
Usually, the term "infantilism" means the immaturity of a person's behavior, the preservation of features that correspond not to his age, but to earlier age periods.
We can talk not only about psychological infantilism, but also about physiological, legal, social.
Infantile teenagers, and then adults, are usually the result of upbringing.
In particular, the emergence of infantilism is associated with the fact that in adolescence, parents did not allow a person to make their own decisions, completely took full responsibility for all areas of his life, and stopped any attempts to show independence.
It is important to understand that there are several types of infantilism, and some of its forms can lead to psychopathy. Therefore, if any features in the behavior of the child alarm parents, it is important to contact specialists for advice.
Both men and women can be infantile. However, this feature is more obvious when it comes to representatives of the strong half of humanity. Since it is from them that society and most women expect perseverance, confidence, and the ability to solve difficult life situations. A soft woman who does not want to grow up is usually taken lightly, and men are often called and bypassed by the tenth road.
- Infantile people are usually naive and careless.
- Often they do not want to start a family, because this is an excessive responsibility.
- Can't get a good job.
- They have superficial interests and are not serious about relationships, not only love, but also friendship.
- Often they cannot control their interests - for example, they play computer games for hours. Of course, quite independent people also have such hobbies, but they can control their addictions, understand that it’s time for business, and it’s an hour for fun.
Infantile people have only their own “want” and no boring “shoulds”.
Leave your comfort zone
Interested in how to get rid of infantilism, it is important to understand that this is the path of growing up. The key difference between an adult and a child is the degree of freedom and degree of responsibility. Therefore, in order to mature, it is important to achieve two main results:
- Take responsibility for your life.
- Reclaim your freedom, if necessary.
And for this you have to leave your comfort zone - not daily, but every minute.
Own Solutions
An infantile person does not know how or does not want to make decisions himself, preferring to give this responsibility to others. Usually - to parents, and then the role of mom and dad can be played, for example, by a wife or husband. It can reach the point of absurdity: such people call their parents to ask for advice, several times a day; ask their mother what to wear; cannot decide which job to choose if the parent does not approve it; will not meet with a person if the family does not like him, etc.
A person can consult, listen, compromise, but still decisions and responsibility for them are the lot of adult men and women.
Solve your own problems
Infantilism is brought up from an early age. And that might be convenient. For example, in early childhood, a mother solved conflicts with her son in the sandbox, and she herself went to school to deal with hooligans and teachers who offended him, at the institute she ran to the dean's office to ask why her genius was given a B in the exam. When an overgrown child goes to work, a logical continuation suggests itself - if the boss deprives the bonus, the mother will also have to deal with this issue.
It sounds strange, but the situation when a mother calls employers, asking if she and her son can come for an interview, is quite possible and occurs in real life.
Adult men and women decide their own issues. Even if it’s scary, lazy and it’s not clear where to start working on the problem. To grow up, you need to calmly but persistently refuse parental offers to help.
Own territory
Being interested in the question of how to get rid of infantilism for a woman or a man, it is important to understand: it is difficult to be an adult and independent when mom collects socks scattered around the room in the morning to wash them, and dad tells what programs to watch on TV.
To grow up, it is optimal to start your territory.
Of course, given the situation with real estate prices, this advice for most is an empty phrase.
If there is absolutely no opportunity to move, it is advisable to win back your territory in a common house. For example, in your own room: take out an old chest of drawers and a gramophone, furnish the room to your liking, maybe even install a lock.
personal money
It is impossible to be an adult, begging mom and dad for money for travel, manicures or beer. An adult is a financially independent person, period.
Alas, today there are often very different variations of adult boys and girls who do not want to work, relying on their parent's salary or even a pension.
There can be a thousand explanations:
- Man is looking for himself and his vocation;
- he is not hired anywhere;
- he is very talented, but no one recognizes his genius yet, etc.
Of course, there are practically no real reasons why healthy people cannot work. You can search for your calling by standing behind the counter in the store, and not sitting at home and looking sadly out the window. Writing a brilliant novel - in the evenings after work at a gas station. But the problem of “they don’t hire anywhere” is quite real - the labor market can be overflowing with specialists of this profile ... But in order to have the moral right to say so, you need to respond to vacancies day and night and run through interviews, and not plunge into philosophical reflections about the impossibility of finding a job without even bothering to write a resume.
Conclusion
Conclusion
Being an adult and realizing that you still have not got rid of infantilism, do not despair: the situation can be changed. If a person has realized his peculiarity, he is already on the path to success. One should not hope that today a person cannot decide what color to choose a tie, and tomorrow it will become the embodiment of independence. You need to set yourself up for long-term painstaking work, and start with the little things. Deciding what to eat for breakfast, how to drive to work, what to say... These small decisions and successes will lead to big ones - the ability to manage your lifestyle, relationships, feelings. If necessary and possible, it is always useful to turn to someone who will help you go this way.
What is infantilism? This is a phenomenon characterized by a child's perception of the world and others, and everything would be fine, but an adult who behaves like a child is perceived by others very critically. Infantile men and women are not capable of full-fledged family relationships, they are poorly socialized.
What is infantilism?
What does "infantile" mean? This personality trait is the opposite of maturity. It is normal for any person to occasionally experience regression, for example, in anxious situations, but a mature personality differs from an infantile one in that it knows how to track this state and reach the level of finding a solution to get out of the current situation. Sometimes infantilism is a manifestation of the disease, but more often it is the position of an adult, expressed in avoiding growing up, the following manifestations are characteristic of infantile personalities:
- fear of responsibility;
- getting stuck in children's feelings of resentment;
- a tendency to blame the whole world for their failures;
- do not strive for development and new knowledge;
- inability to set goals and realize them;
- it is difficult to perceive someone's refusal of something, infantiles believe that they owe everything to them, and they owe nobody;
- strong attachment to parents;
- tend to shift their responsibilities to others.
An infantile personality is an immature personality, infantilism itself is multifaceted and is divided into several types:
- Physiological- is manifested by bodily underdevelopment due to severe pregnancy or childbirth.
- Mental- congenital psychopathology and disorders.
- Psychological- is formed in the process of upbringing in the family.
- Social- Violation of the mechanisms of socialization.
- Legal- associated with gaps in knowledge in the system of rights and unwillingness to explore their rights.
Infantilism in psychology
What is infantilism - psychologists characterize this phenomenon as the immaturity of the individual, manifested in thinking, actions, as inappropriate for the age criterion. Mental infantilism can be a symptom of other disorders: neuroses, phobias, delayed development of the nervous system, severe psychopathologies (schizophrenia, autism spectrum disorders).
Causes of psychological infantilism:
- active intrusion of parents into the space of the child and the suppression of his independence;
- the child successfully manipulates his parents, they fulfill all his whims, fixing in him a pattern of behavior that everything can be achieved in life by skillfully manipulating the feelings of others.
Infantile sexuality
The infantile behavior of a small child is aimed at satisfying his needs. Infantile sexuality is autoeroticism, when the child focuses on the sensations of his body, deriving pleasure and comfort from this, for example, in the absence of the mother's breast, he replaces it with sucking his finger, or experiences pleasure from urination and emptying. Z. Freud in his "Essays on Sexuality" considered in detail the formation of human sexuality through the initial manifestation - infantile sexuality.
Legal infantilism
Infantilism is different. What is legal infantilism? This phenomenon is inherent in modern society and is expressed in the fact that people do not seek knowledge of the legal system, do not know their rights and have a negative attitude towards many laws, simply ignoring them. Legal infantilism is considered a mild form of distortion of the legal consciousness of citizens, but it can threaten that value systems are gradually destroyed.
What is infantilism in psychiatry? Infantilism is manifested by the immaturity of psychophysiological functions, outwardly it looks like physical underdevelopment, the child is stunted, the muscular and skeletal systems are underdeveloped, intellectual development also suffers. If medical and psychological correction is carried out, children often get better. A serious manifestation is infantile psychosis, which is a sign of severe autism spectrum disorders.
Infantile psychosis manifests itself as follows:
- hyperkinesthesia (an attempt to climb walls, high muscle tone up to convulsions, running in a circle;
- speech is incoherent;
- aggression;
- attention disorders;
- obsessive same-type body movements.
social infantilism
The immaturity of a person as a person, combined with emotional and volitional immaturity, gives rise to a phenomenon - social infantilism, and it is associated with such a concept as victimhood. Learned helplessness, positioning oneself as a victim of circumstances, unable to decide something in an adult way and take responsibility for actions based on a social role.
Infantile hedonism is one of the brightest manifestations of social infantilism. In order to get something, you need to give: your time, work, overcoming yourself, but in modern society consumerism flourishes and getting pleasure first. For example, a person is on fire to buy a new expensive phone, hasn’t saved up any money, but took out a loan at high interest rates, and with anticipation of happiness buys a phone, he becomes involved in the crowd, like everyone around. There comes a time for paying bills and a collision with reality: there is not enough to live on, but you need to pay.
Infantilism - signs
What does infantile mean? For men and women, the following signs of infantilism are characteristic:
- egocentrism - everything should revolve around him, without effort on his part;
- dependency - social position;
- performs actions without thinking about the consequences, but only focusing on their needs;
- there is no purpose in life other than one's own comfort;
- there is no adequate self-assessment;
- does not seek self-knowledge and self-development;
- does not know how to solve problems, waits for someone to solve for him.
What is male infantilism? Psychological infantilism in men can occur if he was brought up in an incomplete family, where the mother replaced both parents, was both mom and dad, devoted herself to the child without a trace. Often such “sticking” on a child occurs if a woman decides to give birth “for herself”, at a later age. Boys in this regard are less lucky than girls, because a woman cannot give paternal love and upbringing. Infantile man, signs:
- close symbiotic relationship with the mother, listens to her in everything, constantly consults;
- he does not know how to handle money, he always does not have them;
- often these are merry fellows and jokers who love festivities and parties at someone else's expense;
- avoids serious relationships with women, and if he marries, he brings his wife to his parents' house;
- looks youthful even in adulthood, the look of a child;
- prefers to go to the illusory world of fantasy, computer games;
- capricious and often offended like a child at any criticism in his direction.
Infantilism in women
What is female infantilism, is it different from male? Yes and no. An infantile woman is even encouraged in some societies. There are many families where the man decides everything, and the woman is only required to keep the house clean and give birth to children, she gets used to relying on her husband in almost everything. Often the problems of female infantilism begin in the parental family, girls are often pampered: “Who is our father’s girl here?”, Which nurtures in her the feeling that everyone should always take care of her. First dad, then she is looking for a man "father".
Female infantilism, signs:
- she grew up, but in fact remained a girl;
- looking for a solution to all his problems in a partner;
- another option, when a relationship with a man lasts exactly until the end of romance, she is not capable of long-term deep relationships.
A person, faced with the consequences of reality, either blames others for his problems, or finally opens his eyes and begins to wonder: “How to stop being infantile?” The walking one will master the road - this means that you need to recognize your infantilism as a real problem and start moving towards getting rid of it, it will take some time, but the big bonus will be that the person becomes independent and life begins to improve. Steps to get rid of infantilism:
- If an adult still lives with his parents, you need to “go away” to independent swimming, for example, rent an apartment.
- Learn to manage the money that is available, stop taking from your parents. They no longer owe anything to an adult son or daughter, and they also have their own needs, do not forget about it.
- Having a pet is something you need to take care of and it helps you grow up and be responsible.
- Find a job and become a sought-after specialist.
- Learn to have an opinion and defend it.
- To stop shifting the responsibility for making decisions to loved ones, there should be a clear position “I decided so!”, And a clear understanding of why such a decision was made with all the ensuing consequences.
Instruction
Look at yourself from the side to imagine how others see you. This exercise will help you make sure that an adult without his own opinion, capricious, eccentric, with the habits of a child, can cause irritation or laughter. If you do not want to continue to be treated condescendingly, start working on your own internal attitudes.
Develop a clear position on every aspect of life that worries you. Think about what you want from life. Form your system of principles. Understand yourself. If it is still difficult for you to navigate in the outside world on your own, choose an authority for yourself - a great scientist, politician or other person. Study the biography of your idol and think about which of the positions of this person is close to you in spirit.
Expand your horizons. Try to be aware of the political, economic situation in the country and the world. It is important not only to know what is happening in society, but also to be able to see the true background of events and understand what changes may occur in the near future. Stop living in your world, be aware of what is happening around you.
Get rid of naivete. Take a critical look at yourself, your lifestyle and the people around you. Get rid of illusions. Don't take other people's words for granted, check the facts. Turn on critical thinking. Remember not to blindly trust others. Think about what personal motives your acquaintances or colleagues may have, and only then go to meet them. Don't let yourself be fooled.
Become an independent person. Take responsibility for your own life. Try to provide for yourself. Stop relying on someone. Count only on your own strength. Perhaps then you will have to reconsider many habits, give up something. But in return, you will get a feeling of inner freedom and independence.
Keep your word. If you made a promise to someone, do not deceive someone else's trust. Let others perceive you as a serious, reliable person. Thanks to this habit, you will stop having empty talk and become a more thoughtful person. Your attitude towards yourself, your words and actions will change.
Learn to express your point of view. Use precise reasoning. State verified facts in a logical sequence. During the discussion, try not only to express your position, but also to listen to your opponents. The ability to understand others and realize one's own mistakes distinguishes a serious person from an infantile, stubborn person.
Control your emotions. Restraint distinguishes an adult from a child. In some situations, for example, in a public place or at work, a violent expression of one's feelings, especially negative ones, is not at all acceptable. Watch yourself. Don't let yourself lose your temper in front of others.
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