Infantilism is a personality characteristic that expresses the immaturity of its psychological development, the preservation of features inherent in earlier age stages. The infantilism of a person in the everyday sense is called childishness, which is manifested in the immaturity of behavior, the inability to make informed decisions, and the unwillingness to take responsibility.
In psychology, infantilism is understood as the immaturity of an individual, which is expressed in a delay in the formation of a personality when its actions do not meet age requirements. Some people perceive the infantilism of behavior as a matter of course. The life of a modern person is quite fast-paced, it is this lifestyle that pushes a person to such behavior, stopping the growing up and development of the personality, while maintaining a small and unintelligent child inside an adult. The cult of eternal youth and youth, the presence of a wide variety of entertainments of modern culture, this is what provokes the development of infantility in a person, relegating the development of an adult personality to the background and allowing him to remain an eternal child.
A woman with an infantile character is able to portray resentment when she is actually experiencing. Among other tricks, such feminists are armed with sadness, tears, feelings of guilt and fear. Such a woman is able to pretend to be confused when she does not know what she wants. Best of all, she manages to make a man believe that without him she is nobody and that she will disappear without his support. She will never say what she does not like, she will pout or cry and act up, but it is very difficult to bring her into a serious conversation.
The true infantilism of a woman leads her life into sheer chaos. She always gets into some kind of stories, extreme situations, from where she needs to be rescued. She has many friends, her appearance is far from the image of a lady, she is attracted to jeans, sneakers, various T-shirts with children's or cartoon prints. She is cheerful, energetic and fickle, her social circle mostly consisting of people much younger than her age.
Men love adventure because it causes an adrenaline rush, so they find themselves an infantile woman with whom they never get bored.
According to the results of one study, it turned out that 34% of women behave infantile when they are next to their man, 66% say that these women live in the image of a frivolous girl all the time.
The reasons for a woman's infantilism are that she acts in this way, because it is easier for her to achieve something from a man, she does not want to be responsible for her personal life or dreams that someone will take custody of her, this someone, of course, a mature and wealthy man.
How to get rid of infantilism
Infantilism is a persistent personality characteristic in psychology, therefore it is impossible to get rid of it quickly. To transcend to the solution of the question: how to deal with infantilism, you need to understand that for this there is a lot of work to be done. In the fight against infantilism, you need to be very patient, because you have to go through tears, resentment and anger.
So, how to get rid of infantilism. The most effective way is considered to be the occurrence of big changes in life, during which a person must get into such situations and conditions where he will find himself without support and he alone will have to quickly solve problems, and then be responsible for the decisions made.
Thus, many people get rid of infantilism. For men, such conditions can be - the army, special forces, prison. Women are more suited to moving to a foreign country where there are absolutely no acquaintances, and they have to survive without relatives and make new friends.
After experiencing strong stressful situations, a person loses his infantilism, for example, having lost material well-being, having experienced the dismissal or death of a very close person who served as support and support.
For women, the best way to deal with infantilism is the birth of a child and the responsibility that comes with it.
Too radical methods are unlikely to suit every person, and the following may happen: due to sudden changes in life, a person may close in on himself or, having failed to cope with his duties, will begin to regress even more (regression is a protective mechanism of the psyche that returns a person to lower stage of development of his feelings and behavior).
It is better to use more accessible situations, for example, cook dinner yourself, then clean up, do an unscheduled major cleaning, go shopping and buy only what you need, go and pay bills, move out from your parents or stop living at their expense. There are a lot of such situations in life, they sometimes seem insignificant, but one who knows what an infantile character is understands how infantile personalities behave in such cases, how burdensome these situations are for them. 
Some people don't mature at all with time. Everyone else has a family, a job, a serious adult life, and they have an irresponsible and frivolous attitude to everything, superficial views and hasty judgments.
Of course, such a person does not think about problems, and occasionally it seems easy and pleasant to communicate with him, but not everyone can live with him on the same territory. What is infantilism, how to deal with it and is it worth doing it at all?
Manifestations of infantilism
1. Unreliability
An infantile person is unpunctual, optional, and has no qualms about it. It is easier for him to come up with a thousand and one excuses for you than to get organized and come to the meeting on time. When it comes to important matters, he will go out of his way to stall and make excuses, hoping that eventually someone will take full responsibility for himself. He easily forgets about promises, loses things, never knows where his documents are and always really hopes that someone will insure him, check everything and correct it.
2. Financial irresponsibility
Standing in the mall, you look at a beautiful figurine and think that it would look good at home, but you are short of money only for food and you decide to postpone the purchase until better times. The eternal child never thinks about such things. If he wanted any thing, he must get it, and then you will listen to complaints for a long time that there is absolutely nothing to eat at home, and two weeks before payday. An infantile person has a very vague idea of \u200b\u200bwhat bills for an apartment are, and very often borrows money. And in modern times, with the ability to take a loan, such a person periodically lives only at the expense of loans. He cannot stay at one job for a long time and most often, he is interrupted by part-time jobs when he is completely broke.
3. Lack of purpose
An infantile person is not able to make at least some clear plans for the future, often delays making decisions and ultimately acts either under someone else's pressure or on the principle of "heads and tails". He always hopes for a miracle, and not for putting himself in order.
Difficulties in relationships
First of all, it is difficult for infantile people to get along with the opposite sexbecause they shift all decisions to a partner. Many people like to feel strong and take care of their soul mate, but sooner or later, the behavior of a parent with an unlucky child kills the sexual side of the relationship.
If your employee or friend demonstrates infantile traits, then it is difficult for you to trust him with at least some important matters, knowing that he may not meet the deadlines, panic at the wrong moment and ruin everything.
For all the charm of a holiday person, when it comes to trust, he is unlikely to be the first person you think of.
Cause of infantile behavior
We all come from childhood and the roots of our behavior go back there. The eternal child only reacts to circumstances, trying to seek help and protection from anyone, but not from himself. What are the reasons for his behavior?
The child was pushed too early into adulthood. For example, with irresponsible parents or with the departure of one of the parents, in all cases when in childhood the child was left to himself. With infantile behavior, he avenges the inattention and plays his part, trying to regain his lost childhood.
If a child was punished for the slightest “step to the left, step to the right” and was comprehensively controlled, from adolescence, he will express his rebellion in this way, which will gradually turn into a line of behavior.
When parents care too much about a child, blowing dust off him and depriving him of independence, at an older age he simply does not know where to go in the real world and is always looking for someone to replace his parents and solve all the difficulties for him and Problems.
How to fix the eternal child?
Teach him to make decisions on his own, not urgent ones to begin with. Enlist him to help you more often, and give him enough time for this help. At first, in no case do not limit it to a time frame.
Try to try on yourself a mask of helplessness, you will see that an infantile person is quite capable of acting quickly and consciously if he feels that someone else depends on him.
By infantilism in psychology, it is customary to mean certain traits of the character and behavior of an adult individual that prevent him from becoming a mature person.
Most researchers agree that this happens not due to some organic brain disorders, but due to various defects in the upbringing of a person. Infantile people tend to stubbornly avoid any responsibility for their own lives, as they prefer to shift it onto the shoulders of their immediate environment.
Infantilism is often confused with infantilism, although these are two completely different concepts. The first of them is based on the conscious avoidance of the pain of making serious decisions, and the second is due to an objective reason, such as pathology during the formation of the fetus inside the mother's womb. Infantilism is expressed in a striking discrepancy between the behavioral reactions of the individual and the actual age. Most often, it is diagnosed at the time the child enters school.
This pathological condition is difficult to treat. The article will consider the causes, symptoms and methods for solving psychological infantilism as a problem that can significantly spoil a person's life.
Causes of infantilism
The roots of psychological infantilism should be sought in early childhood. Some of the most common reasons include:
1. Permanent parental control. This is especially true for those children whom mom and dad make to account for every act, and often showing unnecessary severity. The child clearly remembers the time when he was not scolded with or without reason, when he was "forgiven" for his innocent pranks. As a result, he returns with his behavior to early childhood, relieving internal tension with a kind of protest in which he ceases to take responsibility for his actions.
2. Overprotective. If parents seek to protect the baby from all the difficulties of the world around him, he will inevitably form the habit of shifting responsibility to other people. In addition, he will be deprived of the useful experience that a person acquires by learning from his own mistakes.
3. Lack of care and love. Children deprived at an early age of parental affection, becoming adults, tend to compensate for the lack of participation in their lives of their immediate environment. This is especially true for kids brought up in the conditions that their dad and mom were always busy with work and their own problems.
4. Rapid maturation. Psychological research has shown that children who have to face important decisions too early, subsequently diligently avoid situations where they need to make a fateful choice. The most traumatic in this regard is divorce, when the child is placed in a choice between mom and dad.
Symptoms of infantilism
Psychological infantilism is expressed in many different forms and behavioral reactions.
Scientists identify the most striking symptoms of an infant personality, such as:
A stubborn unwillingness to take responsibility for one's own life and make any choice. Infantile people tend to avoid situations in which they will be pressured from the outside. When solving complex issues, they are used to putting everything on the shoulders of work colleagues, friends or relatives, absolutely not embarrassed by the position “my hut is on the edge, I don’t know anything”;
Difficulties with the arrangement of life. Infantile people can be well provided for, but they absolutely do not know how to run a household. Ordinary activities, such as cooking, washing or cleaning cause them apathy and boredom. In some cases, this also applies to personal hygiene;
Extreme selfishness. It seems to infantile personalities that the whole world revolves around them. In this regard, they get used to the fact that their requests are fulfilled quickly and strictly. However, the infant man himself is able to find hundreds of excuses not to do what he does not want;
Difficulties in establishing meaningful interpersonal relationships. An infantile individual does not want to sacrifice anything to another person, so he has a lot of problems in contacts with his work colleagues, soul mates and friends. As a natural result, the infant remains, in the end, a lonely person, from which he suffers immensely;
In a man, infantilism can manifest itself in frequent job changes. Either he is not satisfied with the nitpicking of his superiors, then the team is bad, then the salary is small, then it is a long way to go to the office. As a result, he flaunts his imaginary "freedom from duties" and endlessly looks for places where he would be paid more money and not controlled in any way;
An infant woman can, without a twinge of conscience, go to her friend's birthday, while her house is a complete mess, and the children are hungry.
Psychologists often compare infantile people with “one-day moths”, since they do not have any savings for a “rainy” day, they do not strive to improve, and are completely sure that they are better than others in everything. However, there always comes a turning point when they have to get rid of their "castles in the air" and accept reality as it really is. And it’s good if they are ready for such a radical reassessment of values, because otherwise they will face severe stress and chronic depression.
Methods of getting rid of infantilism
The main problem of an infantile person is that most often he himself is not aware of the presence of deviations in behavior. It is quite difficult to form one's own independence, and in most cases one cannot do without the help of a qualified psychologist. Experts agree that infantilism lends itself to the most successful psychotherapeutic influence at an early age.
In this regard, consider a number of psychological recommendations for parents who suspect infantilism in their child:
1. Try to consult with your child as often as possible, especially in those situations that are important to him. Discuss plans for the weekend or holidays with him, give him the freedom to choose clothes in the store or the menu for dinner.
2. If a child has difficulties at school or kindergarten, then do not try to solve them in splendid isolation. It is much more preferable if the problem is discussed together with the baby, and he himself suggests methods for solving it. This builds the child's self-confidence.
3. To increase the level of purposefulness, it is permissible to enroll a child in a sports section, where he will be able to make strong-willed decisions and can feel like a full-fledged member of the team.
4. Try to push the baby to establish communication with their peers. The sooner he learns to navigate in interpersonal relationships, the easier it will be for him in the distant future.
5. Learn how to properly stimulate your own child. Avoid praising him for nothing or trying to "bribe" him with sweets and monetary rewards for "correct" behavior. It is much better if the care, affection and participation of parents is manifested in a controlled and "on business", and not just like that.
As for the elimination of manifestations of infantility in an adult, the basis for solving the problem lies in its full and unconditional acceptance. Until the individual wants to change, neither his wife, nor his boss, nor a psychologist will help him. If there are enough internal resources of motivation, then one should try to reconsider the priorities that form the basis of the life of a person prone to infantile behavior.
It should be understood that in advanced cases, psychological infantilism makes a man out of a "mother's son", who finds it difficult to build independent relationships with individuals of the opposite sex, and out of a woman - a person dependent on a "strong shoulder", unable to make decisions without her husband's advice. Without timely assistance, such individuals are at risk of forever remaining children in their souls, and their life can hardly be called happy.
What is infantilism? In fact, it is a defensive behavior that is regulated by the subconscious.03.04.2018
Pozharisky I.
Infantilism as a personality trait is quite common in modern society. It would seem why it can be convenient for adults to show childish […]
Infantilism as a personality trait is quite common in modern society. It would seem, why might it be convenient for adults to display childish immature behavior? It's all about the emotional component. Sometimes growing up is really painful and scary. Then, unconsciously, the decision is made to “remain a child” until some life circumstances lead out of the state of internal stupor. Sometimes it is necessary to apply a lot of strength and patience in order to cope with personal complexes, to overcome signs of internal trouble. Childish behavior allows you to relieve yourself of responsibility, to shift it onto the shoulders of others. What is infantilism? In fact, it is a defensive behavior that is regulated by the subconscious. A person simply does not want to act, because it is more comfortable for him to exist in a closed framework. Childish behavior expresses unwillingness to make decisions, start a family, get a job, etc.
Causes of infantilism
To understand the essence of this concept, you must always refer to the origins of the problem. There is a reason for every person. Sometimes there is a combination of different circumstances. The personality itself does not notice how it begins to degrade. The thing is that a protective mechanism is triggered, which often does not make it possible to realize the existence of a problem.
Wrong upbringing
Infantilism develops where parents do not pay enough attention to the child, or indulge in permissiveness. In both cases, a small person does not have the opportunity to establish himself in his own independence. He has to constantly prove that he has the right to personal space and his own desires. But not everyone manages to defend their individuality. Improper upbringing affects the desire to act independently, to make responsible decisions. A person, being in such conditions, ceases to believe in his own prospects. Upbringing has a strong influence on self-esteem, on the opportunities that ultimately open up before us.
Overprotection
When all the whims of a child are immediately satisfied, he cannot realize how difficult certain things in life can be given. Infantilism has a high chance of developing if parents somehow sacrifice their own interests for the well-being of their children. Then the child begins to take everything for granted, without thinking at all about how hard material wealth is obtained. Overprotection can do more harm than help. People from a very young age get used to the fact that others do everything for them. That is why it becomes easy and even pleasant to shift responsibility onto other people's shoulders. A bad habit begins to control the consciousness of the individual.
Diffidence
Any psychological problems negatively affect the development of the individual. Closedness, inability to trust, self-doubt teaches the individual to suppress his own desires. On such soil, infantilism develops very quickly. A person is afraid to act and therefore prefers to remain helpless, unhappy and dependent. Getting stuck in the phase of uncertainty is fraught with the fact that the individual will constantly look for excuses for his own inaction. In such a state, the full development of the personality is impossible.
Signs of infantilism
Signs of infantilism cannot be ignored or overlooked. They are clearly evident, especially when a person learns to successfully manipulate his position. Gradually, this behavior becomes a habit, and no one can stop a person.
Fear of making decisions
The very first sign showing that a person remains immature in his adult years. For such people, the moment of maturity is really delayed, because they themselves do not know what they want. Behind infantilism is always the fear of not being up to par. When people doubt themselves too much, sooner or later they lose faith in their own prospects. Remaining for a long time in a state of imaginary helplessness, a person cannot move forward. Over time, it becomes noticeable that problems are not solved, but only accumulate.
Fear of responsibility
What is infantilism? This is, first of all, the reluctance to grow up, caused by certain circumstances or personal characteristics. Such a person is always dominated by the fear of responsibility. This is a sign that a person will not want to leave his cozy harbor for a long time. The mechanism of internal self-defense in a person is much more developed than one can imagine. If we are afraid to take responsibility, we will come up with a thousand excuses for inaction. Fear of responsibility very often prevents you from being happy, realizing the motives of your own actions and actions.
Inability to show emotions
A striking sign of infantilism is the inability to show emotions. Such a person at the first insult closes and withdraws into himself. He does not understand why everything in his life is not going well. The fear of showing his true feelings makes him refuse deep relationships that could be a source of inspiration and lead to happiness. The emotional sphere is very important for the harmonious development of the personality. Tightness is a sign of emotional immaturity. Usually it is quite difficult for such an individual to build warm friendships, not to mention love.
Infantilism in men
In the representatives of the stronger sex, such a character trait as infantilism develops rapidly. If this is facilitated by circumstances, then men quickly form the habit of abdicating all responsibility. And now an adult guy sits for days in front of a computer monitor, playing all kinds of games, chatting for many hours on social networks. Often he does not even realize that something needs to be changed in life. A guy who has fallen into childhood, as a rule, is not popular with girls, who in most cases want to see a reliable and strong shoulder in front of them.
Infantilism in women
The fair sex often hides their infantilism behind a mask of femininity. It seems to them that if they demonstrate their helplessness to others, they will immediately receive all sorts of benefits. Infantilism in women always pursues some goal: to successfully marry, to relieve themselves of unnecessary obligations at work, etc. The girl may not realize it very clearly, but she will build all actions and deeds in accordance with her inner convictions. As a rule, there will be a material dependence on a man. Demonstrating her own weakness, such a lady at all costs strives to receive care and attention.
How to get rid of infantilism
There is no doubt that infantile behavior interferes with living a full life. Excessive lack of independence prevents a happy worldview, awareness of enduring values, as traditional family values. The person seems to be trapped in his own pride. How to get rid of dependence on other people? Let's try to understand this difficult issue.
Taking responsibility
Thinking about how to get rid of infantilism, it is imperative to take full responsibility for the events that occur. No one else can do this for you. Each individual must realize the need for personal growth and development. Accepting responsibility means dropping all blame against anyone. A strong personality will always find the strength to cope with depressing circumstances. It must be admitted that infantilism significantly spoils the matter. It has been noticed that the more obstacles a person overcomes, the more self-sufficient he becomes.
Building Trust
This is an important step that cannot be dispensed with if there is a desire to achieve such a state as emotional independence. The reluctance to become an adult can be overcome if you start building trusting relationships with the people around you. This is how there are all chances to feel happy and self-sufficient. The formation of absolute trust will help to establish interpersonal connections, to discover additional resources within oneself. Without trust, it is impossible to build good relationships with people, to act clearly and consistently towards the desired result.
Thus, the problem of infantilism often takes place with improper upbringing. As a result, such a person is formed who does not know how to make decisions on his own, but wants to constantly shift all problems to close people. Signs of excessive emotional immaturity are usually visible to others. It will take a lot of effort, time and patience to change an unsatisfactory situation. Fortunately, change is entirely possible. You just need to gain confidence in your abilities and begin to act actively. If you feel that it is difficult for you to cope with the problem on your own, contact the Irakli Pozharisky Psychology Center for advice. Working with a specialist will help you realize missed opportunities, outline ways for effective self-realization.
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Psychologists often advise too serious people to wake up the inner child. Be open, cheerful, childishly naive. But what about those who are stuck in childhood?
Behind the complex term "infantility" lies an elementary reluctance to grow up.
A two-meter bearded man may well turn out to be a sissy, and an adult woman - a lonely and lost girl.
How is infantilism manifested? Is it possible to get rid of it? And why do people who are no longer 16 on their passports behave worse than teenagers?
Infantile behavior is characteristic of both men and women. Infantilism is not a congenital defect and not a serious illness, but the result of improper upbringing.
If the baby fails to disassemble the toy, he breaks it. Not going to puzzle? - The child will leave him, burst into tears and run to his mother.
The subconsciousness of adult infants works according to the same scheme: “Ahh, the report does not converge! This is a catastrophe. I need to call my mother, the chief accountant, she will help. And if not, I’ll quit, run away, leave for a desert island.”
Childhood in the behavior of an adult looks strange and awkward. Psychologists say that parents are 100% to blame for such deviations, who did not allow the child to make their own decisions, overprotected, suppressed his personality.
As a result, a person does not even try to become independent. Take a session yourself? Well, I do not. Dad has acquaintances in the administration, he will decide everything.
Why should I learn to cook? There is a mother who will come and make a three-course dinner! She is happy to feed her son.
It's funny, but society considers women who behave like little girls (naughty, shift responsibility to others) the norm.
But if a man gives up, they put the stigma of “sissy” on him and bypass the tenth road.
Signs of infantilism in an adult
Immaturity manifests itself in different ways. However, general signs of infantilism can be identified.
Responsibility. Her infantile person will avoid like fire. All his life, his mother made decisions for him: which institute to go to, what to wear, what to get involved in ...
Some hyper-caring parents even bring them to work by the hand! In a responsible position, a person feels as if he has been thrown into the open sea, but has not been taught to swim.
In 90 cases out of 100, it won't last even a couple of months. But there will always be someone else to blame.
Independence? No, I haven't heard. An elementary situation: the Internet suddenly disappeared. What will an adult do? To begin with, at least check the connection and reboot the router.
Then he will find the phone number of the support service and will understand the situation. Myself! No advisors.
The behavior of the infant: “Everything is lost, you need to call mom / dad. I don't even know the phone number of the provider.
Addiction. The “eternal child” has its own opinion buried somewhere very deep.
It is more important for him what others, friends, parents think. He would rather listen to the advice of his grandmother on the bench than to the voice of his mind.
After all, someone else's opinion is correct. That's how he was taught.
credulity. Convincing an infantile person that he is right is as easy as taking away a candy from a baby.
This is the perfect victim for scammers. A man-child can easily be sold a coffee maker that has been gathering dust in a warehouse for three years, as a novelty of this season.
The main thing is to broadcast with a smart look and appeal to the opinions of experts. The Infante will not resist!
Loneliness. Infantile people are afraid to be alone. It's not about phobias or lack of communication.
With the team somehow calmer. A minimum of responsibility, someone strong and decisive plans everything, and the infanta is good and on the sidelines.
Alone, you have to solve overwhelming tasks: what to eat today, what movie to watch, where to spend the evening ...
Emotionality. Children do not know how to control their emotions - such a psychological feature.
An experienced mother always understands when a child is sad, happy, lying or worried. It's written all over his face, in the truest sense of the word.
Since the development of infantile people stopped in childhood, it is not difficult to “read” their emotions.
They do not know how to hide their state of mind, and the reaction to a particular event is very easy to predict.
How is infantilism manifested in men?
Do you think women complain in vain that real men are dying out like dinosaurs?
"Same-sex couples" - this is how families are jokingly called in which mothers and grandmothers are engaged in raising a son.
“Son, did you eat?”, “Granddaughter, I packed a bag for you to the institute” - with their overprotective relatives they destroy everything masculine in the boy.
At first, his mother decided everything for him, now his wife, and everything suits him! So why do women think that this will change after marriage?
Meet the boy Leshenka, thirty-eight years old. According to the passport, he grows up, but in fact - no.
Pay attention to these signs inherent in infantile men.
- Inertia, unwillingness to make important decisions.
- Conflict. In everything, the infant man will blame you, society, fate, but not himself.
- Unwillingness to run a household, work, participate in the upbringing of children.
- An immature boy cannot live without chats, social networks and online games.
He may seem advanced and not wanting to lag behind progress, but in fact he simply does not know other entertainment. - Often, infantile men choose older wives - they shift all responsibility on them.
An infant man can be a witty conversationalist, a good worker, but an absolutely irresponsible father and husband. It is not at all necessarily a drone and a gigolo, just an immature person.
How is infantilism manifested in women?
Sit in a cafe with friends, go shopping, find another sponsor... The interests of "eternal girls" are unpretentious and limited. They are unlikely to discuss with you the philosophical treatise of Confucius or the problem of global warming.
It's funny, but men like such women. It is easy to spend time with them, you can relax and quickly strengthen your authority.
But the wives and mothers of them are unimportant. Well, a girl who has not made a single independent decision in her life cannot be responsible for her husband and child!
How to recognize an infantile woman?
- She will look for a strong man, a kind of “daddy”, who will solve all problems with one phone call and the rustling of bills in her wallet.
- Unlike a sissy, an infantile woman skillfully uses her weaknesses. In a sense, being insecure and childishly naive is beneficial to her.
The chosen one did not buy another fur coat - the woman's lips are already trembling, and her eyes are filled with tears ... This is a powerful weapon against men. - Infanta women often speak in a high voice and even dress like teenagers.
- They give all the reins of power to a man and do not participate in family affairs.
“Oh, you are so strong, do it yourself” - combining flattery with a request, they skillfully evade responsibility.
How to get rid of infantilism? 5 steps to success
Only the person to whom it interferes with life can get rid of infantilism!
If the infant has already become close to his shell, skillfully shifted responsibility onto the shoulders of others and does not consider this a problem, even the most brilliant psychologist will not be able to help.
How to overcome infantilism?
Step 1: Awareness. The thought should knock on the head that infantilism is not just a beautiful and complicated word, but an obstacle to a happy life.
You need to understand that the problem comes from childhood is not solved in a couple of days. You will have to work on yourself.
And not always the methods will be pleasant. If you can't handle it yourself, you can contact a professional psychologist. Just remember: he will not decide anything for you.
Step 2: comfort zone. It's hard to be brave and independent when you return home - and there your mother is already pouring freshly brewed borscht and lovingly hanging up your linen.
Chicks are considered adults when they themselves can fly out of the nest and get their own food.
Why have you still not found the strength to leave your parental nest? Cozy, comfortable, no need to think about tomorrow?
But in the same Germany, children leave their parental home immediately after coming of age. And they achieve everything themselves! And you can.
Yes, the first days will be difficult, but life will teach you how to cook dinner and use the washing machine.
Step 3: Decision Making. Are you used to calling your parents, husband/wife, friends in a difficult situation?
You are an adult who does not shy away from difficulties. Mom will not come to understand why the boss deprived you of the bonus!
And dad can’t always work as a plumber and fly to you at the first call. Decide for yourself what to eat for breakfast, what color jacket to buy, which companies to send resumes to ...
Who else but you knows your desires and needs? Just stop suppressing them and learn to listen to yourself.
Step 4: Self Realization. You can’t call yourself an adult and beg your dad for money for travel or a movie.
You can come up with a thousand excuses: no education, no hire, all bad - I'm good ...
But there are still thousands of doors in the world that you have not yet knocked on! And for everything to work out, you need to send out resumes and go to interviews, and not philosophize while lying on the couch.
Step 5: Responsibility for others. For a wife, a child, subordinates, elderly parents ...
Someone is helped by a sharp emotional shake-up: moving to a foreign country, a new job, the birth of a child.
Do not underestimate the instincts of self-preservation: in a critical situation, they work at 200%. Even a weak and insecure person finds the strength to make fateful decisions!
Summing up
Infantilism is not just a beautiful word, but a problem that interferes with life. And the sooner a person realizes this, the easier his further path. It consists of five steps:
- awareness;
- exit from the comfort zone;
- independent solutions;
- self-realization;
- responsibility for another.
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