How to relieve nervous tension - emotional tightness (stiffness). How to get rid of shyness? How to deal with tightness in communication

Fortunately, stiffness is not a universal problem, but for people who have this deficiency, this is not easy.

They are very keenly aware of their imperfection, they are looking for how to get rid of complexes, they pay psychologists, attend trainings, buy books with recommendations on how to solve this problem.

Psychologists advise to increase self-esteem, they call all these fears complexes, at trainings they promise to easily make you relaxed, but in fact they teach you to imitate this very looseness, because the reason for it is not in the head, or rather, not only in the head.

It is in the whole body, and no matter how hard you try to change your attitude, perception, you will never come to a positive result, because the reason for your stiffness and tightness lies precisely in the stiffness and tightness of your body.

Your muscles are constrained, therefore such clumsy movements, awkward gestures, strange facial expressions. Your brain is constrained, which is why such untimely thinking: at the right moment you cannot express your thought clearly and clearly.

You don't look stupid, but you look stupid. The kidneys are constrained, and when the kidneys do not work well, fear arises.

Cause of complexes and stiffness

A chained person is afraid of everything - to make the wrong impression, to seem ugly, to be in the center of attention and much more.

The cause of stiffness should be sought in the basis of the basics - acid-base balance.

The human body is a battery that works on the interaction of acid with alkali.

This is the same Yin and Yang that everyone has heard of, but is still perceived as something exotic, unreal, and these are just designations for two types of energies, the interaction of which underlies life.

Yin is a centrifugal, expanding, passive energy.

Yang - compressive, centripetal, concentrating.

These energies have many more properties, but we need to consider two of them: contraction and relaxation.

Yin and Yang are never equal, one of them prevails always and everywhere, in any phenomenon they create opposite qualities.

In women, Yin energy predominates - relaxation, but often, especially in young girls, an excess of Yang energy appears somewhere.

Such an excess gives men masculinity, rigidity, determination.

But the girl does not need masculinity and firmness. So it turns out that the girl suffers from stiffness.

But still it is necessary to take into account the general obsession with losing weight. Everyone is starving and dieting, but such nutrition, or rather, non-nutrition, further enhances the yang, compressive properties.

Naturally, fats are completely ignored, and in this case, the kidneys become loose, destroyed, kidney failure occurs, and unhealthy kidneys cause a state of fear.

And when this condition drags on for a long time, the hormonal background begins to change in girls - the production of male hormones increases, as a result - excessive hair growth, and not where it is needed, acne on the face, on the back, and in general the skin becomes rough.

Female roundness disappears on the figure and lines characteristic of the male body appear.

Where is it in such cases to be self-confident sexy, to know your worth and so on, if you just can’t afford to wear an open dress.

How to get rid of stiffness in the body

So where do you start to rebuild yourself? How to get rid of complexes and become relaxed?

It must be remembered that even the ancients noticed that food can be poison and medicine.

If we have established that the cause of stiffness is an excess of yang, compressive energy, then apparently, another energy should balance it - yin, relaxing.

A simple example: a small amount of alcohol, and it has alkaline properties and neutralizes Yang acid, helps to relax in a stressful environment.

But we will not use alcohol, for this there are many excellent, healthy foods that will help us balance our imbalanced state.

And, perhaps, for this it would be best to turn to macrobiotics.

No one knows better than you how you ate before this time. Perhaps your meal consisted of extremely yin foods or extremely yang foods.

It is impossible, and not particularly necessary, to recall everything you ate in your memory.

All products can be divided into three groups:

1. Products with more Yin properties.

2. Products with balanced properties.

3. Products with properties over Yang.

• Foods with more Yin properties

We solve the problem of excess Yang - high acidity. This means that we need to give up acid-forming foods and make up our diet from alkali-forming foods.

To quickly achieve the effect of relaxation, it is necessary to give up meat (any), sausage, nicotine, eggs, fish, dairy products - cheese, sour cream, milk.

We leave in the diet balanced and moderately balanced foods, as well as those that are very Yin - tomatoes, potatoes, peppers, eggplant, bananas, pineapples, kiwi, citrus fruits, mangoes, grapes, watermelon, melon, spices, wine, vodka.

• Products with balanced properties

Cereal bread Zucchini Dill Cherry Cabbage Raspberry Plum Apples Gooseberries Macaroni Currants Leek Viburnum Cucumbers Pear Mustard Carrot Parsley Radish Celery Pumpkin Parsnips

The changes that will take place in you will inspire and support your desire to change.

Such nutrition in a short time will allow you to cleanse yourself of toxins, energy without interference will begin to circulate easily in the body and exchange with the energy of the outside world.

You also need to focus on magnesium. If calcium makes tissues rigid and hard, then magnesium, on the contrary, makes them elastic and soft.

This is what a constrained girl lacks in order to feel sexy. By getting foods rich in magnesium, your body will become flexible and plastic. After that, you can do dancing and then the movements will become beautiful and graceful.

A lot of magnesium is found in hazelnuts, buckwheat, beans, peas, walnuts, almonds.

Now you can take care of the kidneys. Along with balanced foods, your body also receives the necessary fats. You can supplement the diet with some useful vegetable oil - olive, linseed, pumpkin.

A teaspoon in the morning and evening, and your kidneys will begin to recover, and fears will go away.

You can use homeopathy, herbs, Urolesan and other pharmaceutical non-chemical preparations to restore the kidneys.

Do not drink water in large quantities, although now there are calls from everywhere to drink as much water as possible. If you have a healthy balanced diet, there is no need to overload your kidneys.

According to Hippocrates and Avicenna, water cools the body and, in particular, the brain. If a person has a hot nature of the brain, then a lot of water will not harm him as much as a person with a cold nature of the brain.

To save itself from hypothermia, the brain blocks the kidneys and then there are bags under the eyes, swelling.

Feeling hungry - you need to eat, feeling thirsty - you need to drink.

When you achieve the desired result - you feel more free, plastic, confident - continue to eat balanced foods, adding more - Yin or more - Yang.

If you feel lethargic, drowsy, weak, pressure drops - you are too alkaline. If you find it difficult to relax, your face shrinks into grimaces, you are irritable, your blood pressure rises, you fuss a lot - you are sour.

After analyzing what you ate these days, you can determine what prevailed in the diet - Yin or Yang.

And in order to finally come to a state of calm self-confidence, you can work out some kind of yoga, for example, stretch yoga.

Shyness and insecurity are problems that are quite difficult to deal with. What is the nature of this phenomenon, does shyness have advantages and how to overcome your shyness? Let's try to figure it out.

The problem of shyness

Open and courageous people do not understand the state of shy people. Shy people are embarrassed to approach a stranger and ask what time it is. They may neglect their own interests only because timidity prevents them from speaking.

Shyness appears in childhood: a child can be frightened by a large number of people, and it is difficult for him to get to know his peers. Some scientists believe that shyness may be an inherited trait. Nevertheless, shyness most often leads to the appearance of complexes and fears, as well as banal self-doubt.

Shyness has its perks.

Shy people need to know that they have certain advantages. Let's name some of them.

1. Intensive self-development. It is difficult for a shy person to communicate with other people, but it is easy for him to be with himself. Shy people are constantly engaged in introspection, so they easily isolate their shortcomings and try to work on them.
2. Anonymity. Who would have thought that in the 21st century it is almost impossible for an ordinary person to do anything without the knowledge of society? But social networks, mobile phones and a bunch of applications that report our location make it almost impossible to have privacy. It is easier for shy people to get lost in the crowd: they are quiet, so they attract less attention.
3. The ability to choose friends. Shy people know how to observe and draw the right conclusions. That is why they are picky in their relationships, both intimate and public. In addition, they know how to listen, so they are always good interlocutors.

How to overcome shyness?

For all its merits, shyness still makes you constantly doubt your decisions and sometimes just gets in the way. No one can force you (and you don’t need to) to be the soul of the company, constantly be in the spotlight or get to know everyone in a row. However, in order to reach an understanding with colleagues or family members, you need to take some bold steps towards saying goodbye to shyness. Therefore, if you think that your shyness has begun to interfere with you, then you should add more confidence to your actions.

So, here are 5 simple tips that will help you overcome shyness.

• Know your limits. Don't do or say anything that makes you uncomfortable. You must understand what you are sure of and what is easy for you, and what you should prepare for in advance. If you can't have long conversations with someone who is too outspoken, or work in a team, then don't do it. There is no need to torture yourself.
• Set your priorities. Your values ​​are a kind of "beacons" that you are guided by. Try to figure out what is really important to you. If you do not, then any situation can undermine your confidence.
• Train your skills. Your self-confidence will come along with your competence. If you are driving, then you must be sure that you are a good driver. If you are a teacher, then you should know that you are giving enough knowledge to students and doing it well.
• Take a look at people. Do not compare them with yourself, but try to see the personality of each. Imagine that each person has his own fears and complexes. They are not sure either. Then why should they be embarrassed? They are people just like you.
• Positive. Treat everything with humor. Finally, you decided to ask a stranger for directions and stumbled from excitement and forgot what you wanted to say? Imagine your face at this moment and laugh at yourself.

A positive attitude towards your shortcomings will eradicate your complexes. Work on yourself!

The question of how to stop being shy, withdrawn and insecure worries a huge number of people who want to overcome their inner fear.

Since the listed character traits are rarely found one by one, but flow from each other (a shy person is usually withdrawn and unsure of himself), in order to suppress them, you will have to do serious step-by-step work on yourself.

Shyness in any form prevents you from being yourself.
A person fully reveals himself only when he feels at ease.
Stefan Zweig. Impatience of the heart

Introduction

The phrase “modesty adorns” has long been set on edge. Yes, in some situations modesty is needed, because excessive boasting or obvious narcissism does not suit a worthy person. But shyness is something else.

This quality prevents both the most modest person from living and puts his environment into a stupor - they try to help him, understand, reveal, but this does not always work out. As a result, a shy person drops out of public life, as it is boring with him and there is nothing to talk about. And this gives rise to new complexes and negative emotions in a closed person. And something needs to be done about it.

If you take some actions, make your efforts and back up with a great desire, then everything will definitely work out!

Finding out the cause is the first step on the road to success

The ancient sages said: "Find the cause of the problem - and this is already half of its solution." A person becomes withdrawn, shy or insecure due to certain experiences, psychological traumas or events that have occurred in his life.

Based on negative experience, he does not see an alternative to a favorable development of events and does not try to change the habitual pattern of behavior. All this leads to even greater problems, including hermitage, passivity, escape from reality into the world of fantasies, illusions, virtual games.

The most common causes of shyness, isolation or insecurity in the company of strangers are:

• fear;
• resentment;
• stress;
• psychological trauma.

Fear

For example, fear invariably breeds distrust of everything unfamiliar. Instinctively, a person withdraws into himself, believing that in this way he will avoid problems, awkward situations, and possible ridicule.

Often, with a closer acquaintance, a person reveals himself in a company from a completely different perspective, but at the initial stage, fear makes him be extremely careful in his statements and actions.

Resentment at the world around for the failures that have occurred also becomes the cause of shyness, isolation, and uncertainty. A person fences himself off from reality, not allowing himself to share his own experiences, emotions, or positive impressions with others.

Unfortunately, over time, resentment only accumulates, and if it does not find a natural outlet, then the person becomes aggressive, and sometimes even dangerous to society. Therefore, before you stop being shy and insecure, you should definitely get rid of the mentioned feeling.

Stress, psychological trauma

The stress experienced or the psychological trauma experienced earlier forces the individual to close his inner world from outsiders. According to statistics, more than 40% of respondents experience depression and are dissatisfied with their own lives, they do not make contact with unfamiliar people.

Usually, the invisible subsides with overcoming stress, restoring vitality, and the arrival of positive emotions. With regard to psychological trauma, everything is much more complicated here, especially when they were inflicted during the formation of the personality (that is, in childhood). Sometimes, to overcome their consequences, the help of a qualified specialist is required.

How to stop being shy: a guide to action

1. Faith in success

The most difficult thing is to take the first step towards a more liberated self. It may even seem to you that this is unrealistic, that nothing will come of this whole undertaking. Drive away these thoughts! This is not true. You will definitely succeed. Believing in yourself and your success is very important, so stock up on them to the fullest.

2. You are no worse than others

The next stage is the understanding that you are no worse than other people. You are the same, and in some qualities you are superior to many. Remember all your virtues and skills. Some of them are not a sin to brag about or at least demonstrate to the world.

For example, do you write poetry? Stop hiding them! Join a literary community, show your creations to other people. Let not everyone like your poems, but you will definitely find fans of your work.

Remember, in order to receive compliments and approval, you need to show people what you can be praised for. If you are closed, then you simply will not be noticed. And learn to love yourself the way you are. Nobody's perfect.

3. Failure is a learning experience

Criticism or life failures are not always bad. Take your failures not as the end of the world, but as a certain experience that makes you wiser and stronger.

Remember the famous phrase “what doesn’t kill us makes us stronger”?

Let it be hackneyed, but very truthful. It really is! Therefore, you can be a little sad, even cry, and the next day you pull yourself together and move on to a better life.

4. Face your fears

To overcome your indecision, you need to work hard on yourself. You must be embarrassed to speak in public. Start at least with the pronunciation of toasts. This is a test for many people: to find certain words, put them together in beautiful sentences and pronounce them publicly, even in a small company of close people. It is better to prepare this short speech in advance, think over all the wishes and repeat several times. You will understand that everything is not so scary. Everyone will definitely like it. Try it!

You can also turn to strangers on the street more often with different questions. For example, asking how to get to such and such a street. This will also liberate you, you will be less afraid of communication.

5. Become a pleasant conversationalist

Do you think that in order to carry on a conversation, you need to have some kind of secret knowledge or have a special relationship with a person? This is far from always the case. Many sociable people talk to others about real trifles. So it would not hurt you to adopt this quality, even if it seems stupid at first.

Start by talking about the weather, no matter how trite it may be. Then you can discuss the cases that connect you with the interlocutor. If this is a co-worker, you can talk about the problem of parking near the office building. If a neighbor - about how the bills for rent have risen. The main thing is to start, and the conversation itself can develop, especially if your interlocutor is more sociable than you. Practice! And you will get involved.

6. Compliment

People love to hear nice words addressed to them, even if they are said in passing. And especially women! Give them compliments. It is not necessary to scatter in praise. Suffice it to say that the young lady today has a successful styling or a beautiful dress. You will see how she will immediately become more disposed towards you.

7. The right attitude

Train yourself every day to tune in to the good. A positive mood, albeit from scratch, will help you overcome life's obstacles. Healthy optimism never hurt anyone!

Additional ways to get rid of shyness

Before you stop being shy in companies or when meeting new people, you need to understand that solving this problem depends entirely on the person himself. In order to become more open, liberated, sociable, it will take some time. For some, a few weeks are enough on the path to success, while for others it will take several years before all manifestations of the described negative qualities are finally eradicated.

Now there are several effective ways to stop being shy and withdrawn, insecure.
This list includes:

• personal training;
• development of communication skills;
• performing special exercises ("go ahead").

The method of personal training has now gained immense popularity, as it allows you to inspire a person that he is no worse and no better than other unfamiliar people.

Usually, the delivery of specific attitudes takes place in the form of a “teacher-student”, when an experienced mentor (psychologist) convinces closed and insecure people that no one in the company seeks to ridicule, offend, or humiliate them.

Many of them also experience a certain amount of excitement, but in no way show their own negative feelings. Regular sessions with a specialist who knows how to convince contribute to the achievement of results, and a person overcomes the fear of communication.

Sometimes it is recommended to develop communication skills by doing certain exercises. One of the most useful options for how to stop being shy in a company is to simulate the situation in front of a mirror. It will not be superfluous to prepare a few universal jokes that allow you to defuse a tense situation or give confidence in your abilities. The more a person “rehearses” alone with himself, the more confident and at ease he will feel in a real situation.

An innovative technique was the performance of tasks that require considerable courage from an indecisive shy person. For example, he should come up and talk on the street with complete strangers, ask for a phone number from an attractive girl (guy), talk about some event in a public place. Already after 2-3 such exercises, progress is noticeable, as a person overcomes fear, becomes more open to the world around him, gains self-confidence.

A few important tips for success

Psychologists identify several key aspects of how to stop being shy in the company and at the same time achieve the location of strangers.

The list of such conditions always includes:

• acceptance of constraint (excitement, isolation) as a due fact;
• positive thinking, smile, neat appearance;
• lack of comparison of oneself with other people;
• training slow intelligible speech.

It is necessary to clearly realize that it is quite normal to be shy, to experience excitement or a feeling of isolation in certain situations. Do not try to hide your emotions, because it always looks unnatural and repulsive. At the same time, the appearance, facial expression, and intonation of the voice are of key importance for the initial impression of a person, so try to always look like a needle, exude positive, and don’t forget to smile.

You do not need to constantly draw a parallel with more successful people in the company, otherwise this can lead to negativity, detachment, a desire to quickly go to a quiet secluded place. A huge problem for many people is slurred fast speech, which not all participants in the conversation can make out. Learn to express your own thoughts clearly, clearly, slowly, which will attract the attention of others, avoiding sharp ridicule.

Outcome

Shyness can be overcome - add some effort to your desire and soon you will see a positive result! Be active, decisive and open to people.

Overcoming shyness, shyness, self-doubt is possible only with the help of painstaking work on yourself, positive thinking, getting rid of fears or complexes. Fight your weaknesses, prejudices, negativity - and you will definitely become a successful attractive person!

Being shy means being afraid of people
especially those who for one reason or another
negatively affect our emotions.
Phil Zimbard about

Every day we are faced with a large number of shy, insecure individuals. Psychologists say that almost all people suffer from shyness to one degree or another.

One of the best books on this topic is the work of the American psychologist F. Zimbardo, which is called “Shyness: what it is and how to deal with it”, suggests referring to the famous Webster dictionary, which says that being shy means being “difficult for rapprochement, because of timidity, caution and mistrust. Zimbardo gives several quotations from the dictionary:

"A shy person is cautious, not inclined to meet or contact with any particular person or object." "Impressionable, timid, reluctant to stand up for their rights", a shy person "may be retiring or secretive due to self-doubt or fear of harassment by his antipode, a dubious, suspicious, "dark" personality." Webster's Dictionary defines shyness as awkwardness in the presence of other people.

Shyness goes hand in hand with embarrassment, which the same Zimbardo defines as "a short-term acute loss of self-respect" that periodically happens to many people. Embarrassment coexists with awkwardness, during which it becomes clear from the side that a person is absorbed in himself and a painful reaction to the way other people see and perceive him. Shy people are self-conscious, that is, they are negatively disposed towards themselves.

What are the causes of shyness? There are many of them and they have both an innate genetic basis and an acquired origin. The origins of shyness must be sought in childhood, where a person was not taught to love himself and accept himself as a whole. In the future, life traumas and problems consolidated this property and made it a constant companion of a person. A shy person constantly rejects some part of himself in himself and hides it from others, fearing that those around him will discover it and in some negative way (mockery, discontent, criticism, aggression, etc.) will react to it. To feel more comfortable and confident, people who can't get rid of shyness surround themselves with a whole cascade of clumsy, conspicuous psychological shields, and this makes them even more tense.

If you take a closer look at shyness, you can see at its basis a special mechanism for unfavorably comparing oneself with a certain standard of confidence and emancipation that exists in the minds of such people. Comparison is always the result of the work of the mind, but it is evaluated and experienced on an emotional level. The state of security directly depends on the depth of experience.

A person is afraid to be himself in the presence of other people and therefore takes an artificial clumsy psychological pose. He narrows the space of interaction with other people, he begins to avoid everything new in life, and the fabric of his consciousness is covered with scars from the psychological trauma that almost every contact inflicts on him. He does not live, but exists, as if being in a half-bent state.

We live in a cruel world where weakness is trampled under the law of brute force and self-interest. Shy people are beaten all the time for profit or for the sake of self-affirmation, and they will probably be beaten for a long time if they do not start up, do not get angry at themselves with good sports anger and do not try to become stronger. Such people attract blows to themselves both by their appearance, and by the expression on their faces, on the forehead of which it is written in large letters: “I am a victim”, and by subtle energy, as if intended to be beaten all the time. Even if shy people sometimes explode and protest, their outbursts are almost always belated attempts to force themselves to be respected and restore the status quo. They either have no effect on the aggressors, or cause those even more fury and a desire to finish off the awkwardly protesting victim.

A shy, insecure person, instead of discharging the dissatisfaction that has arisen in communication with the behavior of other people in the correct form, giving them a signal about the inadmissibility of their reactions, accumulates anger and resentment in himself. When the accumulated negative emotions overwhelm the edge, many people of this type turn on defense mechanisms and an explosion occurs. However, it often happens that, due to his weakness and disbelief in his own strength, a shy person does not dare to throw out dissatisfaction on the one who is really to blame, and begins to take out his annoyance, transferring irritation to even weaker people - relatives, friends, children, lower level employees.

If you are serious about getting rid of shyness and becoming confident and secure at all times, here are a few steps you can take.:

1. Take a close look at your shyness and insecurity and try to understand its origins. Where did you get this property from? Is it congenital or acquired? And if you bought it, what influenced you the most - failures, bullying, ridicule, criticism, difficult circumstances or some other reasons? Also answer the question - is it easy to eliminate these causes with a simple strong-willed decision or do they require painstaking work, perhaps together with a specialist.
2. Try to see in yourself that inner standard of confidence, the comparison with which brings you into a state of emotional tension and clamping. Why are you so painfully worried that you are not like him? Where did you get this inner standard and image from? Who implanted it in your mind? Think about it, could you live without comparing yourself to anyone or anything, but accepting yourself the way you are?
3. Try to understand what you dislike so much about yourself and why do you reject it? What motivates you to hide this trait or property from other people so tensely? What will happen if, on the contrary, you accept it first for yourself, and then open it to others? To get rid of shyness, first try to imagine it mentally, and then gradually transfer your idea, vision and mood into reality.
4. Learn the great art of calmly and objectively seeing yourself as if from the outside without judgment or judgment. Such an outwardly neutral vision will gradually awaken your positive emotions, a sense of joy and love for the whole world, including yourself, as part of this world. Direct this love to that darkened inner line that you do not like so much and that you so carefully hide from other people's views.
5. Introduce a light detachment and mild humor into your relationship with yourself. Make fun of your shyness and insecurity. Accept them easily, without tension, without judging yourself for such qualities, but perceiving their presence as a springboard for further improvement.
6. Collect all the past resources of your victories or at least successful communication scenarios in any situations. Remember all the cases of your confidence and looseness in companies. Try to recall and relive your positive emotions that you experienced then. Then gather these emotions together into one big holistic feeling of faith in yourself and tune in to its further expansion. Saturate with this feeling, as if with a light substance, your whole being - body, organism, nervous system, psyche, consciousness, your "I".
7. Mentally observe yourself and try to find in yourself some internal obscurations and energy blocks that are responsible for the state of insecurity and prevent you from getting rid of shyness. Then dissolve this feeling and state on all levels of your being from consciousness to body and replace it with a state of confidence.
8. Take a close look at confident, liberated people. Try to understand what is the secret of their success and how they manage to keep themselves relaxed and confident in all situations. Try to imagine how their inner world works. Think about it, are there at least some weak rudiments of such confidence and looseness inside you? If there is, then tune in to this state again and again, catching and fixing it. Consider also whether you are capable of the things these people do or not.
9. Try to behave the way people of this type behave - freely, confidently, liberated, doing what they like to do, without regard to others. Bring impulses of freedom and emancipation into your gestures, movements, looks, gait, intonations, facial expressions, decisions, actions. Achieve a clear feeling that a stream of freedom is passing through you.
10. If the techniques and methods described above for gaining confidence on your own are not enough to save you from shyness, then turn to the Higher Forces with a prayer and a request to help you gain this state and property. Ask with all your heart and being, bringing the energy of emotional sincerity and aspiration into prayer, and after a while you will begin to receive an answer and support.
11. Give a serious place to the release of muscle clamps. Shyness simply ceases to exist as a property if a person has learned to truly relax his body. Each facet of shyness has its own muscular manifestation. Examine the muscle pattern of your shyness. Try to understand which muscle groups are the main forces that support this negative emotional state.
12. At the moment of blows or pressure of circumstances, try to respond to them by putting up an energy shield woven from the substance of confidence. Trust that you can handle the problem.

At the same time, don't turn yourself into an overconfident biorobot. Confidence is not a goal, it is just a means to an end and a certain indicator of a person's vitality, indicating that the goal will be achieved. Leave room for pain, failure, experience. Remember the thought expressed by Zimbardo: “Do not overprotect your ego: it is more durable and cheerful than you think. It bends but doesn't break. It is much better to feel pain in the soul from time to time because you did not act in the best way than to avoid pain at the cost of emotional sensation.

Internal indecision and uncertainty are inherent in both women and men.

And although it is common for the beautiful half of humanity to be weak and need protection, it is not at all natural, due to obsessive tightness and constraint, to limit one's own life in many ways.

Not knowing how to overcome self-doubt, fear and embarrassment, most notorious people continue to infringe on their needs for fear of doing something wrong. The causes of insecurity are quite extensive and individual for each, but the most common (which can give rise to other consequences) is the regular devaluation of any actions of a child or adolescent.

Under rudeness, rudeness, swagger and arrogance, the stronger sex often tries to hide shyness and self-doubt, timidity. Fear of duties at work, reproaches at home and the inability to fight back or the indifference of friends ...

All this is generated by self-doubt, which is the reverse side of low self-esteem. What reasons can give impetus to a person’s self-doubt and his fear of communication?

Sources of uncertainty:

• Exaggerated demands and expectations of others that did not materialize.
• Conviction of parents in the worthlessness and mediocrity of their child.
• Perception of any failure in the form of a large-scale tragedy.
• Dependence on the opinion of society.

Signs of a weak character:

• The inability to answer a categorical "no".
• Suspiciousness.
• Subservience and subservience to other people.
• General stiffness and depression in communication.
• Fear of offending someone.
• Inability to make decisions.

Fight with yourself

Modesty is not at all an obstacle to a full-fledged lifestyle, but insecurity is fraught with the fact that they do not pay attention to a person. Inside a person there is a constant struggle and unsettles him.

He feels dependent on society and various situations, unable to become independent and self-sufficient in everything, while experiencing terrible psychological discomfort. The question of how to overcome self-doubt is considered by psychology from several points of view, based on what influenced the individual - upbringing or his behavior.

It is quite difficult to change some character traits and one's perception, since the habits that began to badly affect our existence were fixed for years, and the person considered this to be normal. Until he realized the true problem, faced with indecision and fears already in adulthood.

If you start thinking about how to overcome shyness and self-doubt, you can be surprised to note that this is a completely solvable difficulty. But in no case should you continue to fuel this problem by driving yourself into depression and starting to get nervous, and then relieve tension with the help of pills or alcohol.

What to do if self-doubt does not allow you to live in peace?

Ways to get rid of self-doubt:

• Do nice little things for loved ones to talk about your ideas and thoughts without fear of being misunderstood.
• Workout and leave the comfort zone in the form of a cozy chair and a soft blanket.
• Break down your plans and goals into step-by-step actions. So dreams become not so unattainable and scary.
• Tune in to positive emotions and don't take failure too personally. You need to understand that any bad luck is a valuable lesson that will give wisdom and help you achieve your goal more easily. It is necessary to inspire yourself with a positive attitude and faith in your own strength every day.
• Stop reviewing your actions and words with the eyes of other people. Someone else's opinion is good. You can listen to him, but you always have to decide for yourself. Do not allow yourself to be pressured and manipulated. Defending your own point of view and not depending on others is the main rule of a confident and successful person.

• Make new friends, get into that environment that will be homely, cozy and pleasant for you, get rid of communication with unsympathetic people. After all, the sphere of social interaction greatly affects the worldview and thoughts.
• self esteem- the best ally in the fight against insecurity and constraint. Love yourself.
• Learn something new all the time not be afraid of the unknown and unknown. New facets will allow you to look at the world more broadly and not be afraid of change.
• Take it easy on the things that matter. Devaluation of important aspects will bring relaxation, and you will stop intimidating your subconscious mind with the eternal “what if ...”.
• See a person in a similar situation, which seems to you frightening and unrealistic, which in practice proves its experience and confidence in this matter. Then the fear will dissolve.
• Awareness in the matter(be it a new job or an exam) contributes to the fact that there is nothing to fuel the fear. Judge for yourself - why be afraid if you know how and know everything?

Tests to help you become more confident

In order to understand how to overcome fear and self-doubt, you can set yourself constant tasks and complete them in different ways, noting for yourself how easier and easier it is to act in this or that case. For example:

• Walk into any store and ask the salesperson to advise you thoroughly on a particular product, then thank them and leave without buying anything.
• Approach a passerby and ask for some information.
• Come to a cafe and make acquaintance with the guy / girl you like by inviting to the cinema or offering a cup of coffee.

To get rid of insecurities and take an additional opportunity to become stronger, it is necessary to reveal fears, reminding ourselves that this is only a temptation that leaves us defenseless and susceptible to negativity.

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Let your psyche rest, stop winding yourself up with things that may not even happen. Start moving forward and repeat to yourself “I can do it!”.