today it is increasingly becoming a favorite topic of many people who want to loudly express themselves, because reality requires from us the ability to be something very useful, interesting for other people, especially our strong self-realization, dedication, which are not possible without mastering this useful skill . I would like to add the following words to the title of the post: so that at the same time I feel a sense of inner comfort and there is no feeling of understatement.
Have you observed pictures of dialogues of people who experienced obvious pleasure from their own result? I think yes. And we saw all this from their satisfied and joyful appearance from mutual communication.
But many people are also familiar with the other side of the negotiations, when one person won, while leaving his partner with his own interests. Of course, negotiating is an art, and we will not try to give expert advice that we ourselves do not fully understand.
Somehow I came across a very interesting book by Gavin Kennedy, “You Can Agree on Anything.” I would like to dwell on certain pieces of her advice.
The ability to negotiate on any issue is needed not only in politics and business - this is a skill that can be extremely useful in our everyday life. There are certain rules for our communication with people that are worth knowing about.
Gavin Kennedy conventionally divides all people into four types: sheep, donkeys, foxes and owls. It is clear what characteristics of these animals he bases on and why he gives them to people.
Now ask yourself: what type do you consider yourself to be and why? Do you want to move from the category of a stupid sheep to the category of a wise owl?
The most important rule in negotiation skills, which the author writes about, is that In a dialogue, you should never give in to another! First of all, you must defend your interests, and not think about the convenience of others, otherwise what kind of negotiations will it be when you create additional bonuses for someone, while losing yours.
Can you imagine how different this rule is from the morality of our Soviet past, because we were taught to give in, meet halfway, and be a good comrade. A lot of insincere crap was implanted in us by socialist ideologists, who, by the way, raised us in such a way that it would be easier to govern us. So that no one would even guess that it is just as criminal to forget about yourself as to subordinate the whole world only to your own interests.
So, let's move on to a more detailed understanding of Gavin Kennedy's advice. What tangible result can this position give us? It will simply force our interlocutor to also take our interests into account, rearranging possible scenarios appropriately.
Simply put, it all comes down to the politics of a compromise solution, when “the sheep are full and the wolves are safe.” Those. you should always clearly see your benefits and not go for dubious options out of the belief that if you don’t give in, you will be counted out bad person. And if they don’t give in to you, how will you live with it? In a word, don’t be afraid to talk about your desires and defend your interests, including because that everything can be agreed upon!
Negotiation is a critical part of any business partnership. Further work with the client or supplier largely depends on the quality of the negotiations, and it is at this stage that the main conditions of cooperation are determined.
From a psychological point of view, each of us is a unique individual. We have our own life position, views and preferences. The same applies to a person as a counterparty in the transaction process. The director, manager, financier and other officials represent a specific company that needs specific conditions. The private client, in turn, is interested in a certain product in a certain quantity. The people with whom you will negotiate need specifics - this is important. But along with it, there are standard negotiation techniques. They can be considered as a kind of template, in the good sense of the word. These rules are formed on the basis of factors such as business ethics and psychoanalysis, so their effectiveness can hardly be questioned.
So, the rules for successful negotiations include the following points:
- Preparation. You must clearly understand the purpose of the negotiations even before they begin. Ideally, break this goal into three points: the planned result, acceptable and undesirable. For each of them, it is necessary to have its own strategy of behavior, which is put into action even before the result is achieved. Let's say you see that the conversation is going in the wrong direction, and you cannot come to a common denominator with your interlocutor. Use techniques that will give you the opportunity to get out of the situation.
- Performance. At the beginning of the conversation, make it clear to your partner who you are, what company you are acting for, and for what purpose you invited him to this conversation. This will help avoid many questions in the future. An informal retreat makes sense if you really know how to communicate on abstract topics. If the conversation “about the weather” is done insofar as it is insincere, it will only be harmful, because will be a waste of time. Which many business people simply lack. It's better to get straight to the point.
- Understanding. Of course, during the negotiation process you must defend, first of all, your interests. But it wouldn’t hurt to look at the conversation from the other person’s point of view. This will help you better understand what advantages of your offer you can highlight for him. Know how to listen and hear someone else's position.
- Ambience and appearance (for “live” negotiations). Make sure that the negotiations take place in a suitable place, where no one will disturb you. If this is an office, its furnishings should be business-like. Close the door (but don't lock it) and make sure no one disturbs you. If this is a cafe, try to choose a cozy establishment. Do not invite persons whose presence is not required to participate in negotiations. Control the time of negotiations, do not delay them, but also do not look at your watch every 5 minutes, this is a sign of bad manners and your lack of interest in the deal. As for appearance, it must be neat. You're hosting a business meeting and need to look the part.
In fairness, it is worth noting that on this point everything is purely individual. Often people, when promoting their product or service, create such an appearance for themselves that their interlocutor at first cannot understand with whom he is even talking. This makes it possible to play first fiddle in terms of business communication, while the other party devotes time to studying you as a person. But here on a thin one. It is important not to overdo it, because... Excessive expressiveness in style can also give a completely opposite result - a person initially will not see you as a serious partner.
- Positive nature of the conversation. Both you and your interlocutor are interested in mutually beneficial cooperation. This is good, isn't it? Show your positive attitude. But not with the help of an “on duty” smile or fawning, but so that the emotions are sincere. Talk about the prospects for cooperation with feeling, with a sparkle in your eyes. If you do not prevaricate, it will be very easy to maintain such a tone. But at the same time keep your distance. Perhaps in the future you and your interlocutor will become best friends, but in this moment you are representatives of different business parties, each of which defends its own interests.
- Unambiguity. If we're talking about about financial partnership, terms of payment for goods, etc. points, it is necessary that they all be clearly stated, and then spelled out in the contract and not be subject to double interpretation. Naturally, you shouldn’t sign the document right away. Why - see the note above this point.
- The main thing is the details. Didn’t understand what this or that phrase from your partner’s mouth meant? Don’t be lazy to ask him a clarifying question. Doubts, uncertainty, etc. feelings must either be confirmed or dispelled. Clarifying questions in this case are the best way.
- Maintain balance. Between the “good and evil policeman”. Another important factor how to negotiate cooperation. Here, as in battle, the strongest is not the one who attacks, but the one who takes the blow. You need to defend your positions not through refusals, disputes and other negativity. It is important to demonstrate professionalism. And then the partner will be more loyal to the conditions you propose.
- Keep your word. Since we test our partner for honesty and integrity, we can be sure that he will do the same. Promise only what you can guarantee. Keep your promises. More precisely, not even promises, but obligations under a future agreement. Otherwise, you will face not only moral, but also administrative (and sometimes criminal) liability. Plus, it's your reputation. Don't let her get hurt.
- Competent end of the conversation. After negotiations, the parties must reach a joint outcome. This may be a compromise, a preliminary agreement, or sometimes a categorical disagreement of the parties with each other. But negotiations cannot be left unfinished. Even if they were just one of the stages, after which you will have other meetings, conversations or correspondence. Treat them like you read a chapter from which you need to draw a conclusion. And, of course, observe basic politeness. Shake the person’s hand (if it’s a man), smile at the lady, wish Have a good day. Do this regardless of the outcome of the conversation.
IMPORTANT! The outcome of the negotiations does not mean decision. The verdict on cooperation must be made only after thinking it through calm atmosphere, discussing with your colleagues everything that you talked about during the negotiations. Especially if the interlocutor offered you options for cooperation that you had not previously thought about. You need to carefully analyze this proposal and understand whether the stated conditions suit you. It might be worth looking for pitfalls. To make it easier to understand, take notes during negotiations. If you agree to a deal during the conversation itself, you can become a victim of a personality with strong charisma, due to which you will be confused.
How to negotiate with a client?
The above recommendations applied to negotiations in general. Now let's look at a few points regarding what line to follow when communicating with the person to whom you want to sell something. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a wholesale buyer or a retail client. For us, he is first and foremost a buyer.
- Find out what the client needs. What product, in what volume, for what purposes (remember the specifics). After receiving this information, let the person know that you can implement his requests.
- Describe the benefits of the product. Preferably with numbers. How many components are richer than its composition, how many times this product will help you save, etc. This will allow you to justify the price you want to receive for the product.
IMPORTANT! You must understand all the advantages, first of all, yourself. Only then will you be able to justify them and convey them to the buyer.
- If the price doesn't suit the client, don't complain on the fact that such a cost is due to the costs of production, logistics and other expense items. The buyer is not interested in this. It is better to emphasize once again what benefits he receives from the acquisition. Preferably financial. If there really are any, the person will gladly pay you one time in order to save in the future. In some cases, you can offer a discount and special conditions. Which ones exactly – calculate in advance, as well as the size of the discounts.
Benefits may include:
- free shipping when purchasing a certain amount;
- the possibility of purchasing goods in installments;
- additional bonuses (3 products for the price of 2, etc.).
There are a lot of options, the main thing is that they are economically feasible for you. If a buyer asks for an unrealistic discount, don't be afraid to turn him down. At the same time, justify your refusal, say that such conditions are simply unprofitable for you. And offer an alternative.
ADVICE: Examples of successful negotiations demonstrate the relevance of comparisons when voicing prices. “This book costs the same as 10 cups of coffee,” “A monthly car payment is equal to three dinners at a restaurant,” etc.
The main thing is not to start the conversation with cost. First, introduce the buyer to the product (or general assortment), list its advantages, and then politely but confidently announce the price. Confidence is an important point. If the client sees that you are hesitating, he will definitely start bargaining. Pronounce the number as confidently as you pronounce your name. When bargaining, if it does take place, use what was said at the beginning of this paragraph. But don’t rush to make the discount itself if the client talks about “how expensive it is.” He may just be waiting for you to recount to him why the item is worth what you want for it.
- Do not despair, if a person refuses to purchase. Perhaps he just needs to wait until payday or find out the conditions and prices of your competitors (especially important for wholesale clients). Leave your contact information and politely say that if anything happens you will always be happy to cooperate.
Difficult client - who is he?
Yes, there is such a separate category of buyers. Many people don’t like them, but these are the people who help sellers understand the weaknesses of their business. They represent a challenge to be accepted and an obstacle to be overcome. Moreover, these clients themselves are divided into:
- rude people;
When communicating with such people, the main thing is not to succumb to provocations. Stay calm and confident. Rudeness means the absence of other arguments, and when a person realizes that shouting and accusations will not get through you, he will retreat on his own. And all his negativity will remain with him. Or perhaps these are just emotions that need to be allowed to spill out. If a person is unhappy with the price, appearance product - agree with it by using figures of speech like “Yes, you are certainly right, but let me clarify...”. And then, despite your emotions, try to help him.
- shy and indecisive people;
Such a person, as a rule, is not confident in himself and in his choice. He is haunted by doubts that you need to level out. Maintain it, expand it, or, on the contrary, narrow the list of options for purchase. Here it is doubly important to emphasize all the advantages of the product. If a person wants to consult with his wife or boss, offer your help in this matter.
- "smart guys"
The client wants to demonstrate that he knows your product better than you do. Well, in this case you can play his game. Show how much you admire his competence, do not use harsh objections if he criticizes the product, but only offer alternative arguments. The main thing here is to find a compromise. And a healthy discussion always benefits both sides.
How to negotiate on the phone?
First, let’s clarify that any serious transaction requires a personal meeting. Successful telephone conversations are only one of the stages of cooperation. But this stage is also very important. Let's talk about him.
The client calls first
This already means that he has an issue that needs to be resolved. The person found your contacts, dialed the number, and waited for an answer. Here your task is to greet him politely, introduce yourself, and find out about the problem. This will give a boost to a certain amount of trust when the client understands that there is also a real person on the other end of the line, and a robot manager. Don't disappoint his expectations. But at the same time, give the opportunity to be convinced of your professionalism, since the caller is not always an expert in the field of goods or services for which he actually called you. Having learned about his preferences, clearly and concisely voice them in your own words and give the client the opportunity to agree with you. And then make an offer and arrange a meeting.
You call first
In this case, the first priority is to find out whether the person has time to talk. If not, ask when you can call back, since at the moment the busy interlocutor, if he does not hang up, is unlikely to pay enough attention to your proposal.
The rest of the client communication script looks standard:
- Introduce yourself;
- Find out about the needs of your interlocutor, clarify them if necessary;
- Making an offer;
- You make an appointment.
Individual nuances are selected for each specific area.
If your product or service is intended for business representatives rather than corporate clients, find out from your interlocutor who in the company is authorized to respond to proposals similar to yours and contact this person. And then follow the established pattern: defining the problem - your solution to it - pricing issues - confirmation of interest. And use the necessary marketing techniques - provide information about discounts and other favorable conditions.
In practice, conducting such telephone conversations looks like this (example):
– Good afternoon, my name is ..., I am a representative of the company ..., we sell stationery. Do you have time to talk?
- Yes, I’m listening to you.
– Tell me, do you use forms to print tax documents?
- Yes, we use it.
– So, is it important for you to purchase such documents?
- Yes, that’s right, what do you want to offer?
– Our company will be interested in cooperation in supplying such forms for you. We are ready to discuss individual pricing policies and terms of cooperation.
Then the conversation will go on its own if the person is really interested in your proposal. In case of refusal, try to find out the reason and offer Alternative option cooperation. Don’t be shy to ask questions and encourage your interlocutor to provide feedback. This is the only way you can build a constructive dialogue.
The one who knows how to negotiate wins! Especially in business communication. Let's learn the basics of a difficult art together with coach Moscow Business School.
, expert practitioner in the field of formation corporate culture, assessment, selection, motivation of employees and optimization of business processes in the company.
Why rules business negotiations everyone needs to know
There is a concept in football: technique beats class. In negotiations also: the use of properly designed technology makes it possible to surpass partners with a higher status.
70% of all work processes involve communication. We negotiate something every day, and every situation requires us to have good negotiation skills.
Let's look at simple example: You want to discuss a promotion with your boss. But to do this competently, you need to take into account the nuances of each stage of the conversation.
- Preparation. How best to approach this issue, where to start the conversation.
- Making contact. How to correctly position your interlocutor for dialogue.
- Effective formation of needs. How to formulate a request without being too demanding.
- Presentation of the proposal. How to justify it so that your partner becomes interested.
- Work with objections. How to react to them correctly?
- Consolidation of the discussed agreements. How to sum it up correctly.
This is just one example of a situation where negotiation skills come in handy. And we face such moments every day!
5 basic rules of business negotiations
Rule #1
Develop emotional intelligence. Periodically ask yourself: what is the other person feeling right now? How will he behave based on his current state? After some time, you will be able to predict human behavior and control the discussion process.
Rule #2
Study the sequence of stages of negotiations. This way, you will begin to understand what goals you need to achieve at each stage of the discussion. This will help negotiate more constructively and effectively.
Rule #3
Prepare for contact and possible pitfalls. This various situations, which may arise based on the partner’s experience, his level of responsibility and decision-making methods.
Rule #4
It is important to have “flexible ligaments” - that is, to be able to improvise and fill pauses. This will allow you to smoothly switch the conversation from topic to topic and turn awkward silence into constructive one.
Rule #5
Learn to gently manage the course of negotiations. Summarize interim results and structure questions correctly - this way you yourself will create an information field within which your partner will make decisions.
5 most common mistakes
Mistake #1
Lack of flexibility. Negotiations can be soft, hard and constructive, and each format has its own characteristics that need to be taken into account. It is important to be able to adapt to the format that your partner provokes.
Mistake #2
Skip standard negotiation steps. For example, you can skip the formation of interest in yourself. Without hearing a story about the company, your interlocutor will doubt the reliability of future relationships.
Mistake #3
Lack of understanding of the partner's needs and values. If you have not formed a clear idea of what your interlocutor wants, then your arguments will not have the desired effect. In this case, you will have to return again to questions about your partner’s needs.
Mistake #4
Don't forget to take into account the psychological characteristics of your interlocutor. Some prefer a slow pace of negotiations so as not to miss a single detail and make the most informed decision.
Mistake #5
Inability to listen and hear. Misunderstandings often arise in negotiations that hinder the development of partnerships.
Tough negotiations: what to do if your partner is cooler than you
A counterparty who has chosen tough negotiation tactics most often does so with reason. That is, he occupies a more powerful weight category and is less interested in your decision than you are.
However, this approach does not exclude constructive dialogue and discussion of mutually beneficial cooperation. You can act through a soft strategy: invite your partner to your territory and show yourself as a hospitable host. You can increase loyalty to your company by showing production - due to this, managers often receive individual discounts and unique conditions.
In our material - general rules business negotiations that everyone needs to know. At Elena Zhdanova’s seminars at Moscow Business School, you will be able to master all behavioral strategies and learn how to achieve what you want through properly structured tactics.
Negotiations are a duel. Negotiations are a fight without weapons. Negotiations are an elegant fencing with words and arguments. The financial position, income and future of the company often depend on their outcome. How to learn how to negotiate correctly, use psychological techniques and business techniques - read in new article our blog.
From this material you will learn:
- Why are negotiations necessary?
- What are negotiations like?
- Stages of negotiations
- Rules of Negotiation
- to push through your decision;
- to get benefits and goodies from partners or investors;
- to justify yourself before those in power;
- to find a compromise.
What are negotiations like?
There are basically two main types: competitive and affiliate.- Competitive negotiations - the parties are aimed at winning, everyone wants to remain a winner and make a profit ( good conditions, guarantees, agreements). In this case, the compromise is considered a “draw” and is not particularly needed.
- Partnership - both parties are friendly and agree to compromise. They are ready to sacrifice small benefits in order to ultimately reach a peaceful agreement.
- authoritarian - clear, daring, sharp as a bullet. This is how bosses often communicate with subordinates, and stronger partners with outsiders;
- democratic - participants communicate on equal terms, like partners;
- informal is more of an informal conversation without strict regulations.
Stages of negotiations
Stage 1. Preparation
- Select the date and location of the negotiations. Psychologists say that it is better to meet in the first half of the day - when your interlocutor, and you yourself, have not yet had time to load your head current affairs. The location is also very important - the outcome of the negotiations may depend on what territory you will meet on. It is known that houses and walls help - if possible, try to hold important meetings in your office. And if there is no office yet - in a place where you feel most comfortable (favorite cafe, lobby, etc.)
- Get mentally ready: calm down, concentrate, grow your zen to your knees or below. Let nothing be able to unsettle you. If on the eve of the appointed date an unpleasant event occurred for you (failure, breakup, death), reschedule the meeting.
- Write down the main ideas and thoughts that you are going to convey to your interlocutor. Work through possible objections and think about how to respond to them. Model different situations, different channels in which negotiations can go, and options for different outcomes.
Stage 2. Monologues and sentences
At this stage, everything usually goes smoothly: the parties to the negotiations position their opinions and intentions. Here it is important to present your arguments as clearly as possible, without slipping into unnecessary reasoning and saving the interlocutor’s time. Then comes the time for the most important thing - voice your proposal, supporting it with arguments. Then, in turn, listen carefully to the other. It is better to write down the key points to discuss at the next stage. For example, you came to negotiate so that the rent for your office space does not increase. Tell us why this is so - the average price on the market is n rubles, but you offer a higher price.Stage 3. Discussion and bargaining
The most difficult and intense stage of negotiations, where spears break, collapse, or, conversely, hopes and prospects appear. It can drag on for half a day, especially if the goals and objectives of the parties are radically opposite. Or if we are talking about big money. If you are conducting competitive negotiations, try to make as few concessions as possible and inform your interlocutor about your plans. Remember that anything said can be used against you. We continue to talk about reducing rents. When discussing, don’t just ask to reduce the price - offer something profitable in return. For example, pay with part of your products, or make repairs to the premises. If you reduce the fee, we will do the repairs - this is what your words should sound like. In partner negotiations, everything is simpler: both interlocutors are aimed at a compromise - accordingly, it will be easier to find one. It is also unprofitable for the landlord to lose a tenant - it is not known when another one will be found, so there is a high chance that he will make concessions to you. Conflicts during partnership negotiations are practically impossible - the conversation proceeds in a peaceful direction. You are discussing, not pushing, everyone’s position.
Stage 4. Decision making.
It is finally decided how the negotiations will end. May lead to compromise or breakup. The ideal option is to sign an agreement. Verbal promises are also a good thing, but it is better to consolidate the meeting on a documentary level. After negotiations, we advise you to contact your interlocutor again. If the meeting was successful, thank and outline the main points and agreements. This is necessary to make sure that you have understood everything correctly. If the negotiations fail, write anyway and thank them. Express the hope that this is not your last meeting, and next time the dialogue may proceed in a more positive manner.Rules of Negotiation
1. Set realistic goals. Let's say you have a startup and you are meeting with a potential investor. Don't expect to get a million dollars - who will give you that much? Assess your investor's capital, guess how much he will be able to invest (if at all) in your business. Set a maximum goal of getting a million rubles. And the minimum task - if he gives 500 thousand, that will be enough. But still better than nothing. 2. At the same time, always ask for more. An old trick: if you want to ask your boss for a salary increase of 10 thousand, feel free to ask for 20, and he will breathe a sigh of relief and agree to exactly those 10. The same is true in negotiations: ask for more than the maximum, and perhaps you will get that same maximum. 3. Start with easy topics - this is what psychologists advise. It will be easier for your interlocutor to agree with you, and the situation will be defused. If you feel mutual affection, great. Thousands of transactions were made thanks to spontaneous personal sympathy. And then move on to the most important thing - the main subject of conversation. 4. Don't get carried away by the authoritarian style. Even if you are the boss and your interlocutor is an inexperienced subordinate, maintain democratic communication. First of all, it's popular now. Secondly, this way you will not turn your partner against you (we remember that one won battle is not yet a won war? And if you managed to win these negotiations, it is unknown what will happen next. Therefore, it is better not to spoil relations with partners and competitors ). 5. Study your interlocutor. Read an interview with him, find mutual friends, use word of mouth to the fullest. Identify his strengths and weaknesses, analyze his financial situation. Find out his needs: maybe he has been building houses all his life, and before retirement he wants to release a memoir or invest in a young creative brand. Play on these feelings, offer exactly what he wants. 6. Use precise numbers. It doesn't matter what the topic of negotiations is. Whether you are looking for a partner, agreeing on joint cooperation or trying to find a sponsor, always provide accurate information. Business people do not like approximate calculations; they want to understand how much money they will have to spend and when they will pay back. All. Believe me, you and your interests are of little importance to anyone, the main thing is money. As they say, nothing personal - just business.
- “Tell me more about this”;
- “What do you think about this?”;
- “What would you like to hear from me?”
- Yes, of course, we will work together. Some day.
- Please let us know when we start work.
- Well, come on, tell me what you have there.
- I have a business there that will bring you millions if you listen to me carefully now.
- What are you telling me here? It’s too small to argue with elders.
- Please explain what you mean. I'm not arguing, but giving you reasonable arguments.
The main mistakes in negotiations
- You are nervous and fidgety. The enemy feels like he’s winning—and that’s how it is.
- You don’t set a goal - you don’t know what you want to achieve as a result of the negotiations.
- You don’t know anything about your interlocutor - it’s the same as not studying your target audience.
- You are provoking conflict. The times of the 90s are long gone, now even disagreements are resolved in a civilized manner.
- You are bored and want to finish quickly - then why did you even come?
Reading time: 3 min
The life of people in society is full of all kinds of situations, including conflict ones. Social scientists note that this phenomenon or even feature is quite natural. Disagreement between different people’s points of view on the same problem and ways to solve it is natural. At the same time, it often turns out that one problem requires solution by several people or a whole team at once, since it affects the interests of many people. In such a situation, one cannot do without the ability to negotiate, that is, to search through joint efforts for a mutually acceptable solution. Otherwise, social relations at different levels risk turning into a continuous intractable conflict.
The art of communication
Any serious (and most importantly, monetary) work position requires the person occupying it to be able to communicate with different people, that is, to negotiate. There are professions in which a positive outcome of negotiations will not only attract new partners or allow the negotiator to enrich himself financially, it will save human lives. For example, talented negotiators are invited to the most important events: to agree with terrorists on the fate of hostages, to become an arbitrator in a local interstate political conflict.
All public professions require mastering the art of diplomacy - the ability to negotiate. This category includes politicians, businessmen, and artists. They often have to communicate with different people and respond to different awkward questions, but due to the duty of their profession they are obliged to master psychological techniques self-control and communication with others.
However, anyone can learn how to resolve a dispute. Every self-respecting person should get out of a conflict situation by diplomatically resolving the problem and preserving his reputation. arises in any area, it can affect relationships in the family, work team, on the street (in any public place). Even minor domestic quarrels require competent resolution. Therefore, you need to prepare for such situations in advance in order to always use your negotiating skills correctly.
Development of negotiation skills
If a person decides to accustom himself to the peaceful resolution of possible conflict situations, he must develop a plan, write it down, remember it and daily train his ability to negotiate with people.
Here you can use this technique:
1. You need to take time to talk.
2. It is necessary to prepare the conditions in advance.
3. Express your own arguments and let your interlocutor speak.
4. Come to a mutually beneficial solution.
Diplomacy is an art that must be mastered. There is one common problem that requires the solution of several people, so first of all it is worth realizing that the parties are equal both in relation to the problem and in relation to the search for its solution. The interests of each party must be respected, and the final decision must be based on consensus, but not on the good will of one participant.
To be able to come to an agreement is, in totality, a correctly expressed one’s own position on this issue, listening to the opinion of one’s counterpart, respecting him, taking his into account psychological characteristics, friendly attitude. It is important to find a solution together. However, before you encourage someone to cooperate, you need to clearly formulate your own expectations. At the same time, when expressing your goals, you need to justify them. The scheme of the message to the interlocutor is as follows: “I want” + a reasonable continuation of “You do it.” For example, how can a parent agree with a child: “I want your behavior at school and at home to change for the better” + “You need to have your own opinion, but be sure to listen to the opinion of your elders (teachers and parents).”
Obviously, when developing a compromise solution, it is necessary to find out the interlocutor’s opinion about what is offered to him and what he himself wants to get as a result. At the same time, you need not to push your position, but to prove its effectiveness with the help of facts, examples, common sense.
The basis of a future agreement is a compromise, as well as the ability to understand, the ability to listen and hear, and to defend one’s opinion. Each party has its own interests and desires, which are transformed and modified during the negotiation process. The end result is a solution that will satisfy everyone interested in it. Achieving general agreement is possible through compromise, that is, through certain concessions.
It is important to understand that finding a compromise is very difficult task. To master the art of negotiating, you first need to work on yourself, your own reactions, and develop the skills of patience, endurance, and self-control. It is necessary to think in advance about the trade-offs that are likely to be necessary in arriving at a solution that benefits everyone. You shouldn’t get hung up on little things and mutual reproaches, insults, you need to focus on the main thing.
Stages of preparing the negotiation process
The ability to find a compromise and come to an agreement on its basis is a truly difficult task, the skills for solving which must be constantly developed in oneself. Even the most experienced negotiators prepare for the next meeting in advance, thinking through every detail.
As researchers note, before you come to an agreement with another person, you must first adjust yourself, come to an agreement with yourself. You can even prepare yourself using the “teacher’s” method, that is, writing down everything you need. The recorded new knowledge (essentially, an algorithm for future actions) will serve as the foundation for self-preparation.
You need to honestly answer the following questions:
1. “How can I understand my interlocutor and what prevents me from doing this?”
2. “How to distinguish neutral emotions and sensations from negative/positive ones?”
3. “How to find an approach to a specific person, what can help?”
After the first stage - self-preparation, you should move on to the second stage, preparing the very process of the future conversation.
Simple rules and techniques for developing your negotiation skills
The first rule when preparing for negotiations is to maintain parity between the parties. No wonder it appeared stable expression"get together for round table" That is, no one initially occupies a more advantageous position in relation to other participants, does not exert pressure with their status (social, professional, material, age, gender).
Before starting the procedure for reaching an agreement, it is necessary not to lose sight of the idea for a second that the main goal is to find a compromise. Therefore, communication under any set of circumstances must be correct and polite.
Basic rules to help you negotiate:
1. Everyone speaks freely, no one interrupts anyone and listens to the thought to the end.
2. You must respect your counterpart.
3. It is unacceptable to put pressure on your opponent, impose your opinion, or threaten.
4. It is worth focusing on positive aspects conversations: talk about achievements, advantages.
5. The main “tool” of a negotiator is convincing argumentation, indisputable facts, and a calm and consistent tone of communication.
6. Relying on diplomatic techniques, you can save face and be able to come to an agreement even with a difficult interlocutor.
7. Do not neglect improvisation, but also do not place serious hopes on it.
Most typical example– this is an almost insoluble “fathers and sons” problem. When an older child develops own interests, often study fades into the background. Any responsible parent sets a goal - to return the child to good academic performance. The obvious actions of the parent are a conversation that should end with a certain agreement. To find a compromise, it is necessary to find out the reasons for such behavior, motives, and take into account the interests of the child. You definitely need additional information about the interlocutor, this makes it easier to come to an agreement. It’s also useful to simply imagine yourself in his place and realize him psychological condition. When the picture appears in full, you need to start looking for a compromise.
Practical advice from professionals (according to U. Yuri)
1. Golden Rule, written in the Bible: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
2. Self-control is the surest path to success. The main thing is not to sink below the level of your own dignity, not to become like aggressive interlocutors.
3. You should not blame your opponent for your own failures, you just need to always have a backup version of the final agreement, which will be a good alternative to the initially desired result.
4. There is no need to perceive a future conversation as a fight or war; it is better to tune in to positive and friendly communication.
5. It is necessary to always take advantage of the moment, not to remember or predict, but to act based on the present, to be in today.
6. You must respect any interlocutor with whom you need to come to an agreement. You always need to be friendly, sympathetic, and attractive. So the reputation will not be tarnished.
7. You should always focus on a positive outcome of the conversation for all participants. It is necessary to avoid a “zero-sum game,” that is, when one wins exactly as much as the other loses, and vice versa. Everyone must win in the end, and an agreement will be reached.
Speaker of the Medical and Psychological Center "PsychoMed"
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