Needs for self-esteem and respect. The need for respect

The need for recognition and respect is one of the basic human needs. Each of us has a sense of self-worth. We all need support and appreciation of both our personality and the results of our work. Based on value judgments, we understand how others perceive us, what our strengths and weaknesses are. We can make our own portrait in the eyes of others.

The desire to assert oneself, to show one's significance lies at the heart of self-esteem. It is necessary to maintain it in order to feel a sense of satisfaction. If a person feels powerful, strong, free, competent, respected, independent, then he goes through life confidently. If his need is not satisfied, then he feels weak, worthless, helpless, incapable of anything. He loses his taste for life, he is overcome by melancholy and despondency, he plunges into depression, and a long stay in this state does not end with anything good. The disorder can lead to health and mental problems.

Therefore, it is important in each person to maintain a sense of his significance. If you do not do this and constantly humiliate a person or refuse to recognize his talent, then it is easy to break him and cause irreparable damage to his psychological health.

According to researchers of human psychology, the need for recognition and respect can be divided into two components:

- in fact, the very need for a person to be noticed and appreciated, and no matter how;
- and the need for prestige, respect, recognition of its significance.

There are various paths to recognition. Someone tries to stand out with their talent and their merits, while someone seeks recognition "from the opposite" - by violating established rules, by addicting to criminal manifestations of their personality. Some seek recognition through the love of people, and others through hatred.

The desire to stand out is at the heart of human psychology. But, unfortunately, this property has its downside. Thus, the desire to stand out at any cost leads to the fact that some people lose their sense of reality and try to achieve respect and recognition from others through unusual and even dangerous actions.

People who suffer from a lack of this need are subject to extraneous influence, which makes them an obedient tool in the hands of other people. If a person does not maintain a sense of his significance for others in time, he may try to assert himself at the expense of other people and go down a dangerous path.

Therefore, it is so important to provide timely support to others, to demonstrate to them their importance to you. But there are extremes along the way.

Sometimes the need for recognition and respect develops into a manic desire to become the best and most outstanding in the eyes of others. These people become perfectionists. They are afraid to take a step, believing that everyone around them is watching and everyone is discussing them. Therefore, they calculate in advance how to dress, what and how to say, how to look. They are afraid: "What if they think badly."

There are other people in whom constant attention from others has given rise to megalomania. He is aware of himself as the most outstanding and strong personalities. Judgment by others or insufficient attention to their person causes them a sense of offended self-esteem. Such people become very stiff. They are usually called snobs in society.

In order not to go to extremes and not feel like a disadvantaged person, you need to realistically assess your strengths and what you bring to this world. The respect of others must be earned. And if you earn it with good deeds, then it will be long and genuine.

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Children need to feel that they are respected. Therefore, the attitude towards them should be the most attentive, the treatment - polite and courteous. Children need to be valued and seen as full-fledged people, and not "appendage" to their parents, who can be pushed around at their own discretion. Children need to be respected as independent individuals with their own will and desires.

If you treat a child without due respect, his self-esteem will drop sharply, he will defiantly behave with others. Eventually, he will get completely out of hand. Children whose parents treat them as second-class creatures often simply believe that something is wrong with them - often this becomes their subconscious belief.

Children must be treated with the same respect that we ourselves demand. For example, the phrase “Sorry, honey, now I don’t have a single free minute” is as easy to say as the phrase “Stop pulling me! Can't you see I'm busy? The first will take you no more time than the second. But these phrases will affect the child in completely different ways. Ordinary politeness can sometimes make the strongest impression.

For a child - even for a teenager who pretends that everything is indifferent to him - in fact, literally everything is important: the opinions of his parents, their attitude towards everyone and everything, their actions.

Indelicacy, rudeness, inattentive behavior on the part of adults are often the result of our imprudence. We forget that children have the same needs as adults, and we do not think about how children are affected by what and how we say.

If you treat your child with respect, he will have a great mood and, most likely, your baby will begin to respect other people himself - including his own children over time.

I will try to give examples of how parents can improve their attitude towards children.

Rudeness, impoliteness

I once watched a friend of mine talking to his eight year old son. The boy was enthusiastically telling his father something, but suddenly the phone rang, the father got up and, without saying a word to his son, picked up the receiver and started a long conversation. When the boy approached him and tried to continue his story, the father frowned and reprimanded him: “Be polite! Can't you see - I'm talking! ”, The question is, who in this situation behaved impolitely?

What if, when he heard the phone ring, the father said to the boy: “Sorry, Bobby, let me know who it is. I'll be right back". And if he said to the subscriber: “I'm sorry, I'll call you back soon. Now I'm talking to my son"? It would be more than just a tribute - just think what a significant person the boy would feel like.

One day something went wrong at work. Frustrated, I went home earlier than usual. My son had already returned from school, he was sitting at the table in the kitchen eating cornflakes with milk. The refrigerator door was wide open. I began to reprimand my son, calling him a bum and pointing out that food quickly spoils in an open refrigerator and that we cannot afford such expenses. And then my David burst into tears. "Why are you crying?" I yelled. “I accidentally, and you yell at me as if I were a villain,” he replied. “Oh-oh, baby, you might think! ..” - I exclaimed and ran out into the street.

To cool off, I walked around the city for a bit. And gradually it began to dawn on me that my reaction was inadequate to what had happened and that the cause of the outbreak was not my son or the refrigerator at all, but my own bad mood and problems at work. I acted, in fact, as if every night, before going to bed, my boy made a list of “ten ways to make daddy crazy” again. Of course, David didn't leave the refrigerator open on purpose, but I spoke and acted as if the boy had committed a serious offense. I treated him disrespectfully, to put it mildly. Realizing this, I returned home and asked my son for forgiveness.

Lie

Lying is another kind of disrespect. Lies kill children's trust. We seem to let our children know that it is normal that adults can lie in a conversation with younger adults.

Everything starts with small things. For example, you say to a child: “This is for your own good,” although you know perfectly well that in the first place it is for your convenience. Or you make a promise and do not fulfill it, trying to somehow get out. In doing so, we prevent our child from understanding the very essence of lies. Later, by punishing him for lying, we aggravate the situation even more.

On a subconscious level, the child's emotional stress can reach a huge intensity: after all, he wants his father and mother to be the embodiments of virtue, and at the same time he sees and feels their insincerity. When we get older and begin to realize that parents are ordinary people, capable of making mistakes and having their own shortcomings, this often causes us surprise and even anxiety.

When communicating with children - especially with children! - Honesty is the best you can think of.

humiliation

If a child makes a mistake or does not obey, and in response we begin to call him rude words (“stupid”, “fool”, “lazy”, “greedy”, “egoist”, etc.) or otherwise humiliate him with a word, intonation or action, then we are being extremely disrespectful. Parents should strive to understand the reasons for the unseemly actions of a son or daughter and help them behave in an appropriate manner.

Inappropriate or excessive anger, irritation or ridicule of parents provoke the child to defend his position with all his might - for example, to respond in kind. The effectiveness of such parental remarks tends to zero. For example, if a high school student who is not very conscientious about his studies is mockingly told that after school he will have to get a job as a dishwasher, "because you will not do anything else without a college degree," this will be both rude and inefficient. And if a teenage girl is told that in such a dress and with such makeup she looks like a prostitute, then in the future she is unlikely to consult with you in anything.

Snub: "listening with half an ear"

Every time we do not listen to our children, get distracted, do not pay attention to them, and even ignore them, we demonstrate our disrespectful attitude towards them. For example, a child says something to us, but we do not answer him or change the topic of conversation, without reacting in any way to what was said. Or we often interrupt the baby in mid-sentence and load him with some tasks. When our friend or relative asks a child, “How are you at school, Annie?” we immediately jump in, answering for Annie. In each of these cases, we act disrespectfully.

Summary

If we want our children to respect themselves and others, then we ourselves must be polite, attentive and respectful with them. We should avoid ridicule, humiliation, shouting: irritability and anger should be kept to a minimum. You need to stop lying, learn to listen more and talk less. You can not perceive children as inanimate objects that should be controlled and manipulated - in children you need to see full-fledged personalities.

Parents need to command less and advise more. You also need to train yourself to say "please", "thank you" and "I'm sorry" - yes, even to your children. It should be remembered that children also have feelings, and how to speak is sometimes even more important than what to say.

This does not mean at all that you and I should turn into saints or that no demands should be made on children. But if a parent understands that his children need respect, and has a good idea of what this respectful relationship should be like, then such a parent will continue to develop and both his children and himself will benefit from this.

The need to feel your own importance

To feel important means for a child to feel his own power, influence, value, to feel that "I do mean something." This need manifests itself at the most tender age.

If children do not feel needed and useful (and this is one of the main children's problems in our time), if they fail to satisfy this need “legally”, children will most likely try to attract attention to themselves by some far from harmless way. They may rebel, become embittered, begin to be impudent, they may contact some kind of gang or gang; become addicted to drugs, begin to have a promiscuous sex life, take the path of crime. Cm.

Human needs as a source of his activity

08.04.2015

Snezhana Ivanova

The very needs of a person are the basis for the formation of a motive, which in psychology is considered as the “engine” of a personality ...

Man, like any living being, is programmed by nature to survive, and for this he needs certain conditions and means. If at some point in time these conditions and means are absent, then a state of need arises, which causes the appearance of a selective response of the human body. This selectivity ensures the occurrence of a response to stimuli (or factors) that are currently the most important for normal life, life preservation and further development. The experience by the subject of such a state of need in psychology is called a need.

So, the manifestation of a person's activity, and, accordingly, his life activity and purposeful activity, directly depends on the presence of a certain need (or need), which requires satisfaction. But only a certain system of human needs will determine the purposefulness of his activities, as well as contribute to the development of his personality. The very needs of a person are the basis for the formation of a motive, which in psychology is considered as a kind of “engine” of a personality. and human activity directly depends on organic and cultural needs, and they, in turn, give rise to, which directs the attention of the individual and its activity to various objects and objects of the world with the aim of their knowledge and subsequent mastery.

Human needs: definition and features

Needs, which are the main source of personality activity, are understood as a special internal (subjective) feeling of a person's need, which determines his dependence on certain conditions and means of existence. The activity itself, aimed at satisfying human needs and regulated by a conscious goal, is called activity. The sources of personality activity as an internal motivating force aimed at satisfying various needs are:

organic and material needs (food, clothing, protection, etc.);
spiritual and cultural(cognitive, aesthetic, social).

Human needs are reflected in the most persistent and vital dependencies of the organism and the environment, and the system of human needs is formed under the influence of the following factors: the social conditions of people's lives, the level of development of production and scientific and technological progress. In psychology, needs are studied in three aspects: as an object, as a state, and as a property (a more detailed description of these values is presented in the table).

The Importance of Needs in Psychology

In psychology, the problem of needs has been considered by many scientists, so today there are quite a lot of different theories that understand needs as needs, as well as the state, and the process of satisfaction. For example, K. K. Platonov I saw in needs, first of all, a need (more precisely, a mental phenomenon of reflecting the needs of an organism or personality), and D. A. Leontiev considered needs through the prism of activity in which it finds its realization (satisfaction). Famous psychologist of the last century Kurt Lewin understood by needs, first of all, a dynamic state that occurs in a person at the moment of the implementation of some action or intention by him.

An analysis of various approaches and theories in the study of this problem allows us to say that in psychology, the need was considered in the following aspects:

as a need (L.I. Bozhovich, V.I. Kovalev, S.L. Rubinshtein);
as an object of satisfaction of need (A.N. Leontiev);
as a necessity (B.I. Dodonov, V.A. Vasilenko);
as the absence of good (V.S. Magun);
as an attitude (D.A. Leontiev, M.S. Kagan);
as a violation of stability (D.A. McClelland, V.L. Ossovsky);
as a state (K. Levin);
as a systemic reaction of the personality (E.P. Ilyin).

Human needs in psychology are understood as dynamically active states of the personality, which form the basis of its motivational sphere. And since in the process of human activity, not only the development of the individual takes place, but also changes in the environment, needs play the role of the driving force of its development, and here their subject content is of particular importance, namely the volume of the material and spiritual culture of mankind that affects the formation of needs. people and their satisfaction.

In order to understand the essence of needs as a driving force, it is necessary to take into account a number of important points highlighted E.P. Ilyin. They are as follows:

the needs of the human body must be separated from the needs of the individual (at the same time, the need, that is, the need of the body, may be unconscious or conscious, but the need of the individual is always conscious);
a need is always associated with a need, by which it is necessary to understand not a deficit in something, but a desire or a need;
from personal needs it is impossible to exclude the state of need, which is a signal for choosing a means of satisfying needs;
the emergence of a need is a mechanism that includes human activity aimed at finding a goal and achieving it as a need to satisfy the need that has arisen.

Needs are passive-active in nature, that is, on the one hand, they are due to the biological nature of a person and the lack of certain conditions, as well as his means of subsistence, and on the other hand, they determine the activity of the subject to overcome the deficit that has arisen. An essential aspect of human needs is their social and personal nature, which finds its manifestation in motives, motivation and, accordingly, in the entire orientation of the individual. Regardless of the type of need and its focus, they all have the following features:

have their object and are the awareness of need;
the content of needs depends primarily on the conditions and methods of their satisfaction;
they are able to reproduce.

In the needs that form human behavior and activity, as well as in production motives, interests, aspirations, desires, inclinations and value orientations, the basis of the individual's behavior lies.

Types of human needs

Any human need initially represents the organic interweaving of biological, physiological and psychological processes, which determines the presence of many types of needs, which are characterized by strength, frequency of occurrence and ways to satisfy them.

Most often in psychology, the following types of human needs are distinguished:

isolated according to origin natural(or organic) and cultural needs;
distinguished by direction material needs and spiritual;
depending on which area they belong to (fields of activity), they distinguish the needs for communication, work, rest and knowledge (or educational needs);
according to the object, needs can be biological, material and spiritual (they also distinguish human social needs;
by their origin, needs can be endogenous(there are waters due to internal factors) and exogenous (caused by external stimuli).

Basic, fundamental (or primary) and secondary needs are also found in the psychological literature.

The greatest attention in psychology is paid to three main types of needs - material, spiritual and social (or public needs), which are described in the table below.

Basic types of human needs

material needs of a person are primary, since they are the basis of his life. Indeed, in order for a person to live, he needs food, clothing and housing, and these needs were formed in the process of phylogenesis. spiritual needs(or ideal) are purely human, as they primarily reflect the level of development of the individual. These include aesthetic, ethical and learning needs.

It should be noted that both organic and spiritual needs are characterized by dynamism and interact with each other, therefore, for the formation and development of spiritual needs, it is necessary to satisfy the material ones (for example, if a person does not satisfy the need for food, then he will experience fatigue, lethargy, apathy and drowsiness, that cannot contribute to the emergence of a cognitive need).

Separately, one should consider public needs(or social), which are formed and developed under the influence of society and are a reflection of the social nature of man. Satisfaction of this need is necessary for absolutely every person as a social being and, accordingly, as a person.

Classification of needs

Since psychology became a separate branch of knowledge, many scientists have made a large number of attempts to classify needs. All these classifications are very diverse and basically reflect only one side of the problem. That is why, to date, a unified system of human needs that would meet all the requirements and interests of researchers from various psychological schools and trends has not yet been presented to the scientific community.

natural desires of a person and necessary (it is impossible to live without them);
natural desires, but not necessary (if there is no way to satisfy them, then this will not lead to the inevitable death of a person);
desires that are neither necessary nor natural (for example, the desire for fame).

Informational author P.V. Simonov needs were divided into biological, social and ideal, which in turn can be the needs of need (or preservation) and growth (or development). According to P. Simonov, social needs of a person and ideal ones are divided into needs “for oneself” and “for others”.

Quite interesting is the classification of needs proposed by Erich Fromm. A well-known psychoanalyst identified the following specific social needs of a person:

a person's need for connections (belonging to a group);
need for self-affirmation (sense of importance);
the need for affection (the need for warm and reciprocal feelings);
the need for self-awareness (one's own individuality);
the need for a system of orientation and objects of worship (belonging to a culture, nation, class, religion, etc.).

But the most popular among all existing classifications was the unique system of human needs of the American psychologist Abraham Maslow (better known as the hierarchy of needs or the pyramid of needs). The representative of the humanistic direction in psychology based his classification on the principle of grouping needs by similarity in a hierarchical sequence - from lower needs to higher ones. A. Maslow's hierarchy of needs is presented in the form of a table for ease of perception.

Hierarchy of needs according to A. Maslow

Main groups	Needs	Description
Additional psychological needs	in self-actualization (self-realization)	maximum realization of all the potentials of a person, his abilities and personality development
	aesthetic	the need for harmony and beauty
	cognitive	the desire to learn and know the surrounding reality
Basic psychological needs	in respect, self respect and appreciation	the need for success, approval, recognition of authority, competence, etc.
	in love and belonging	the need to be in a community, society, to be accepted and recognized
	in safety	the need for protection, stability and security
Physiological Needs	physiological or organic	needs for food, oxygen, drink, sleep, sex drive, etc.

Having proposed their classification of needs, A. Maslow clarified that a person cannot have higher needs (cognitive, aesthetic and the need for self-development), if he has not satisfied the basic (organic) needs.

Formation of human needs

The development of human needs can be analyzed in the context of the socio-historical development of mankind and from the standpoint of ontogenesis. But it should be noted that both in the first and in the second case, material needs will be the initial ones. This is due to the fact that they are the main source of activity of any individual, pushing him to maximum interaction with the environment (both natural and social)

On the basis of material needs, the spiritual needs of a person developed and transformed, for example, the need for knowledge was based on satisfying the needs for food, clothing and housing. As for aesthetic needs, they were also formed due to the development and improvement of the production process and various means of life, which were necessary to provide more comfortable conditions for human life. Thus, the formation of human needs was determined by socio-historical development, during which all human needs developed and differentiated.

As for the development of needs during a person's life path (that is, in ontogenesis), here everything also begins with the satisfaction of natural (organic) needs, which ensure the establishment of relationships between a child and adults. In the process of satisfying basic needs, children develop needs for communication and cognition, on the basis of which other social needs appear. An important influence on the development and formation of needs in childhood is provided by the process of education, through which the correction and replacement of destructive needs is carried out.

Development and formation of human needs according to A.G. Kovalev must obey the following rules:

needs arise and are strengthened through the practice and systematic consumption (that is, habit formation);
the development of needs is possible in conditions of expanded reproduction in the presence of various means and ways of satisfying it (the emergence of needs in the process of activity);
the formation of needs occurs more comfortably if the activity necessary for this does not exhaust the child (lightness, simplicity and a positive emotional mood);
the development of needs is significantly influenced by the transition from reproductive to creative activity;
the need will be strengthened if the child sees its significance, both personally and socially (assessment and encouragement).

In addressing the question of the formation of human needs, it is necessary to return to the hierarchy of needs of A. Maslow, who argued that all human needs are given to him in a hierarchical organization at certain levels. Thus, from the moment of his birth, in the process of his growing up and personality development, each person will consistently manifest seven classes (of course, this is ideal) of needs, ranging from the most primitive (physiological) needs and ending with the need for self-actualization (the desire for maximum realization the personality of all its potentialities, the most complete life), and some aspects of this need begin to manifest themselves not earlier than adolescence.

According to A. Maslow, a person's life at a higher level of needs provides him with the greatest biological efficiency and, accordingly, a longer life, better health, better sleep and appetite. In this way, purpose of satisfying needs basic - the desire for the emergence of higher needs in a person (in knowledge, in self-development and self-actualization).

The main ways and means of meeting needs

Satisfaction of human needs is an important condition not only for its comfortable existence, but also for its survival, because if organic needs are not met, a person will die in a biological sense, and if spiritual needs are not satisfied, then the individual as a social entity dies. People, satisfying different needs, learn in different ways and learn different means to achieve this goal. Therefore, depending on the environment, conditions and the individual himself, the goal of satisfying needs and the ways to achieve it will differ.

In psychology, the most popular ways and means of satisfying needs are:

in the mechanism of formation of individual ways for a person to meet their needs(in the process of learning, the formation of various connections between stimuli and subsequent analogy);
in the process of individualization of ways and means of satisfying basic needs, which act as mechanisms for the development and formation of new needs (the very ways to satisfy needs can turn into themselves, that is, new needs appear);
in concretizing the ways and means of meeting the needs(there is a consolidation of one method or several, with the help of which the satisfaction of human needs occurs);
in the process of mentalization of needs(awareness of the content or some aspects of the need);
in the socialization of ways and means of satisfying needs(they are subordinated to the values of culture and the norms of society).

So, at the heart of any activity and activity of a person there is always some kind of need, which finds its manifestation in motives, and it is the needs that are the motivating force that pushes a person to movement and development.

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Control work on the discipline:

Man and his needs

Topic:PneedinessinrespectandWithself respect

Introduction

2. Need for respect

3. The need for self-esteem

Conclusion

Bibliography

Introduction

The emerging needs force a person to actively look for ways to satisfy them, become internal stimuli of her activity or motives.

All living beings have needs, and this distinguishes living nature from non-living. Its other difference, also related to needs, is the selectivity of the response of the living to exactly what constitutes the subject of needs, i.e. what the body lacks at the moment. The need activates the body, stimulates its behavior, aimed at finding what is required. It, as it were, leads the organism, brings individual mental processes and organs into a state of increased excitability, maintains the activity of the organism until the corresponding state of need is fully satisfied.

The quantity and quality of needs that living beings have depends on the level of their organization, on the way and conditions of life, on the place occupied by the corresponding organism on the evolutionary ladder.

Plants have the least needs, which have a need mainly only in certain biochemical and physical conditions of existence. The most diverse needs are in a person who, in addition to physical and organic needs, also has material, spiritual, social needs (the latter are specific needs associated with communication and interaction of people with each other). As individuals, people differ from each other in the variety of needs they have and the special combination of these needs. The main characteristics of human needs are the strength, frequency of occurrence and method of satisfaction. An additional, but very significant characteristic, especially when it comes to personality, is the subject content of the need, i.e. a set of those objects of material and spiritual culture with the help of which this need can be satisfied.

1. Contentconcepts"need". HierarchyneedsonBUT.Maslow

Need - the state of the individual, created by the need experienced by him in the objects necessary for his existence and development and acting as a source of his activity. Needs are found in motives, inclinations, desires, etc., prompting a person to activity and becoming a form of manifestation of a need. If in need activity is essentially dependent on its object-social content, then in motives this dependence manifests itself as the subject's own activity. Therefore, the system of motives revealed in the behavior of the individual is richer in features and more mobile than the need that makes up its (the system of motives) essence.

Needs are objective, dynamic in nature, as they are formed under the influence of socio-economic conditions for the development of social production and the level of material well-being, they change at each specific historical stage.

The American psychologist A. Maslow suggested that all needs are innate and presented his concept of the hierarchy of needs in human motivation in the order of their priority. A. Maslow identifies 5 levels of needs. Here they are:

Spiritual:

cognition, self-actualization, self-expression, self-identification…

Prestigious:

self-respect, respect from others, recognition, achievement of success and appreciation, promotion…

Social:

social connections, communication, affection, caring for each other and attention to oneself, joint activities ...

Existential:

security of existence, comfort, constancy of living conditions ...

Physiological:

hunger, thirst, sex drive...

This scheme is based on the rule that the dominant needs located below must be more or less satisfied before a person can become aware of the presence and be motivated by the needs located above, i.e. Satisfying the needs located at the bottom of the hierarchy makes it possible to recognize the needs located higher in the hierarchy and their participation in motivation. According to Maslow, this is the main principle underlying the organization of human motivation, and the higher a person can rise in this hierarchy, the more individuality, human qualities and mental health he will demonstrate.

The key point in Maslow's hierarchy of needs concept is that needs are never satisfied on an all-or-nothing basis. Needs overlap, and a person can be motivated at two or more levels of needs at the same time. Maslow suggested that the average person satisfies his needs like this:

b physiological - 85%,

b existential - 70%,

social - 50%,

L prestigious - 40%,

l spiritual - 10%.

If the needs of a lower level are no longer satisfied, the person will return to this level and remain there until these needs are sufficiently satisfied.

In this paper, we will consider the needs of a person of the fourth level - a prestigious one, namely the need for respect and self-respect.

2. Needinrespect

All people in modern society have a need for a stable, reasonable and sufficiently high self-esteem. She always relies on recognition and respect from others. A person feels comfortable only in the social environment that supports his self-esteem and high self-esteem.

Satisfaction of the need for self-esteem causes a feeling of self-confidence, a sense of one's usefulness, value, strength, recognition of one's abilities and useful results of activity, a feeling of one's adequacy of a life situation. Obstacles in the realization of the need for self-esteem lead to feelings of inferiority, weakness and helplessness.

The situations that may arise in this sphere of human needs were brilliantly described by N. V. Gogol in a humorous form. In his work “The Tale of how Ivan Ivanovich quarreled with Ivan Nikiforovich,” two old friends forever became enemies because of a single unfortunate phrase that seemed extremely humiliating to Ivan Ivanovich. In satisfying the need for respect, it seems that the psychological component of interpersonal communication, and not economic or any other factors, plays a decisive role. Therefore, a special role in the implementation of this need belongs to the ethics of business communication, the competent organization of work in the contact zone.

Only a few types of service activities are directly aimed at fulfilling the need for respect - for example, the organization of anniversaries, celebrations, celebrations, the presentation of prizes and awards. However, indirectly, this need must be taken into account in the design of all services without exception. A respectful attitude towards the client and business colleagues always remains a significant reserve for improving the efficiency of service activities and the attractiveness of the service.

Emphasized respect for colleagues, partners and clients is manifested both in psychologically well-built communication, and in a ton, timely, attentive fulfillment of one's obligations. Respect for customers can sometimes be expressed in rather subtle ways. For example, hotel staff may be required to be emphatically modest in clothing: if the client considers that the people serving him look more refined than himself, this can be perceived as disrespect. According to the observations of tourism specialists, many Russian students who have an internship in hotels consider it humiliating for themselves to do such a "dirty" job as cleaning rooms. In Western European countries, cultural traditions are completely different. So, in Germany, students from very wealthy families consider even the most unprestigious, “black” work in a hotel as an integral part of their future profession and perform it like any other. The need for respect in different countries and social strata is realized in different ways, so its study is absolutely necessary when designing and providing any service for a particular contingent of customers.

Needinself-respect

Self-respect is the recognition and acceptance of oneself as a significant, worthy of respect person.

The emotional equivalent of self-respect is self-esteem. This feeling is extremely easily vulnerable to external social influences, for example, assessments given by other people, its chronic wounding sometimes becomes the basis on which an inferiority complex arises.

However, it should be emphasized that the level of self-esteem is influenced not so much by the assessment of the individual by other people, but by self-esteem. This means that a lot of what people do is ultimately aimed at looking positive in their own eyes. Everything that a person does, he does, ultimately, in order to preserve, protect, or enhance self-respect and, accordingly, self-esteem.

Persons with a low level of self-esteem, as a rule, are more malleable, they are more easily exposed to external influences. They have a very strong need for social recognition and attention. They are especially sensitive to the neglect of others. They are easier to provoke into aggressive acts, because they are very sensitive to threats coming, in their opinion, from other people. At the same time, the threat is often exaggerated, and sometimes it simply exists only in their imagination. To protect against an imaginary threat, they resort to a preventive attack in a state of fear and uncertainty.

People with low self-esteem find it difficult to get emotionally close to other people. Their passion for someone, even passion, is quickly replaced by the appearance of a feeling of fear, suspicion, anxiety, fear of losing a loved one. These experiences "are explained by self-doubt, a painful feeling of low value, which makes you demand constant proof from your partner of respect and love and leads to an acute experience of loneliness and the inevitability of the formation of forms of psychological protection."

Self-respect and self-recognition by others are two different, in many ways opposite feelings of self. The calmer and more confident a person respects himself, the less he needs to be recognized by other people. And vice versa: the more a person craves recognition, the more desperately he boasts of his achievements, his property or connections, the more miserable his self-esteem becomes.

It is necessary to clearly understand the difference between self-respect and recognition (validation of oneself). Confirmation is a statement of what a person is capable of. For example, the ability to read and write, knowledge of a foreign language, the presence of a profession. Interest in a person, his attractiveness in the eyes of other people is also a confirmation of oneself. Recognition develops self-confidence, but not self-respect. Men and women who behave like in a poultry yard, sending sexual signals into an indifferent space, people in general who want to be admired by others, as peacocks are admired - they all experience and experience a lack of self-respect. Such characters lack true respect for a partner, that is, the basis for true love. Self-respect is a very important sense of self, it is inherent only in a person who has absolutely pure convictions and inevitably acts according to his convictions.

Some individuals, especially often women, believe that in order to achieve self-respect, one must certainly do something special, at least give birth to a child. Such "orthodox" focuses on what others do to gain validation for themselves, and through what acts others gain high social status. But following other people's models does not lead to self-respect. Self-respect comes to a person only when the person himself is honest, conscientious and impeccable. But a person can achieve confirmation of himself through deeds that he considers worthy of his aspirations.

Normal self-respect is characteristic of people for whom it is quite natural to speak and act decently, honestly and conscientiously, in accordance with their convictions. Arrogant pride is alien to these people, just as servile opportunism is alien to them. You need to have a good instinct to recognize the worthy modesty of such people, based on self-respect.

Normal self-respect is possessed by people for whom to speak and act decently, honestly, conscientiously, following their convictions, is a self-evident behavior. People who behave and act differently and destroy self-respect with their lifestyles are not difficult to recognize. They dodge all the time, looking for workarounds to carry out their intentions. They find all sorts of excuses not to do something, or say the opposite of what they intend to do. They are insincere, they lie out of habit.

Conclusion

Every person who studies needs and their role in human life should be prepared to answer the question: does a person control needs or do needs control a person?

The problem of regulation of needs arises before each person in his daily practice. It is especially acute in those people who have a wealth of needs and the availability of opportunities to satisfy them.

There are long-term needs with predictable possibilities for their satisfaction, there are needs that arise in extreme conditions that take the individual by surprise, there are needs that require certain biological resources and mobilization of volitional qualities to satisfy them. There are needs that arise simultaneously and require the individual to make a conscious choice: which one to give preference to: go to a meeting with his friend or finish preparing a report for a presentation at a seminar, spend money on visiting a cafe or buy a textbook for them.

If you follow the hedonistic ethic, according to which a person always seeks pleasure and avoids pain, a person will acquire a reputation as an unreliable business partner or an employee who is not able to overcome difficulties, to be late everywhere and in everything. If a person strictly follows the established routine, acting on the principle: “do not what you want, but what you need”, he can succeed in his career, career advancement, but gradually lose friends, or even become a hostage of his own. discipline.

Managing needs means managing your activities, striving to achieve results. If you have realized your need to get a higher education, you must subordinate all current short-term needs and goals to this need, calculate your strengths and means in such a way as to fully assimilate the program of each course. More precisely, studying at a university should occupy a leading place in your life.

If, referring to circumstances, you skip classes, do not take tests and exams during the time, you will have such a long tail that you will no longer manage it and your need for higher education will turn into a beautiful, but unrealizable dream.

So, summarizing what has been said, we can conclude: a person can and should manage his needs. For this you need:

· to have a sense-forming ideal, a lofty goal of one's life. Consider all temporary and transient goals and needs through the prism of the main goal of your life;

· constantly take care of the armament with the means to achieve the highest and temporary goal;

Every action to satisfy the need to be subjected to comprehensive motivation, not to commit unmotivated actions;

· to form a reasonable will in order to be able to resist temptations, tricks and follow your own path.

Listusedliterature

1. Ershov P. "Human needs". Moscow. "Thought". 1990

2. Stolyarenko L.D. "Fundamentals of Psychology". Rostov-on-Don. "Phoenix". 1996

3. Aseev V.G. Motivation of behavior and personality formation. Moscow. "Eksmo" 1976. library