What does it mean to be educated. All for women

Conversation

"What does an educated person mean?"

Target: to form a sense of duty, responsibility to others.

Tasks: to acquaint pupils with a brief set of rules of human behavior; to educate the pupils of the class universal norms of morality (kindness, mutual understanding, tolerance towards people)

Conversation flow:

Organization of the beginning of the conversation.

Main part.

We live among people, we communicate daily, we worry, we worry, but are our actions always moral, pure, open? Are they always approved by others? Do they always bring good to people?

There are thousands of situations in life that no - even the most complete - set of rules of conduct can foresee. And then the only right decision will prompt education. What kind of person can be called educated?

He will not allow arrogance, rudeness.

He will establish positive qualities in a person - tolerance, unobtrusiveness, simplicity, delicacy, understanding. Etc.

Where do these qualities come from?

Education from childhood.

With the help of adults.

Observe people whose behavior you like. Etc.

But if we distinguish well-mannered people, is it not possible to learn something from them? What is needed for this, let's think together:

1) you need to know how you would like to be,

2) we need to know what we are.

3) how to bridge the gap between the second and the first.

“Know thyself,” said the ancient Greeks and believed that this was the most difficult thing in the world.

To achieve this, there are several tricks that the guys will tell us about.

Moral It is respect for the rights, freedoms and dignity of the individual. Morality is unthinkable without the correspondence of words and deeds; it grows on the basis of specific life activity - labor, communication, customs and traditions of a particular community. And, speaking of the lack of morality in our

harsh time, we complain about the lack of kindness, attention, tact, mercy, decency. In addition, we often become victims

irresponsibility, we are outraged, we are indignant, but how often are we ourselves an example to follow? Is our commitment different?

Do you consider yourself a responsible person?

What does it mean to be a responsible person?

Pupils are invited to listen to the short story "Obligation"

from the book by Lyudmila Aleshina "On politeness, tact, delicacy ..."

"Obligation".

Finally, the Ermolovs got an apartment! Joyfully and energetically Zina

ran around the shops, bought new curtains, kitchen utensils,

lamps, playpen for babies, shelves and hooks in the bathroom…

The move was scheduled for Sunday. On this day, as you know, the manger is not

work, and they have two: one is a year old, the other is two. What to do? Not by ourselves

deal with the move. Pavel addressed the members of the brigade:

Who will help?

Many also moved. And Rebrov, a single guy, promised.

Thank you, - Yermolov was delighted. “We have two kids, you know.

What are you talking about! By what time?

Come to ten.

Understandably!

Won't you let me down?

It's not good to let down, - Rebrov said solidly.

They shook hands and parted.

Arriving home, Pavel told Zina:

Seryoga Rebrov will come and help. You will take care of the kids.

On Sunday the weather was gloomy and windy. It was raining lightly. By

TV - hockey. Rebrov did not want to leave the house. And he stayed in a warm room, in an easy chair, in front of a color TV.

How the Ermolovs managed, we will not guess. We have moved. Nervous, excited. They did not believe that Rebrov simply did not give a damn about them.

They were worried that something had happened to him along the way. First joy

stay in a new apartment was overshadowed…

Are you familiar with a similar situation?

How would you react to Rebrov's act?

Commitment - is it important in our life?

Continue reading sketch.

On Monday, having met Zina Yermolova on the march, Rebrov cheerfully said as if nothing had happened:

Zina gave him a stern look and walked past him.

Rebrov threw after her:

Need to say hello! So impolite!

Zina did not look back, quickly went to the locker room.

During the lunch break, seeing Pavel, Rebrov complained:

Your half hurts angry!

Pavel growled:

But you are kind!

Rebrov called after him:

I would be interested! Maybe I was sick!

For hockey! Pavel replied.

After work, leaving the workshop, Rebrov was indignant:

Offended! I owe them, right?

Promised? asked his teammate.

Well, I promised.

You must keep your word!

You would have kept it! Rebrov snapped.

Firstly, I did not give a word, and secondly, I moved myself.

What, they don't have relatives? Rebrov shouted into the void. Around

There was no one.

No one condemned Rebrov, no one reprimanded him. None of the old masters scolded. But condemnation of his act hung in the air. He felt it. It didn't feel right.

As time went. The atmosphere in the brigade did not change. Around Rebrov

A kind of vacuum has formed. Once he asked Vasya Kopylov:

What's happening?!

Vasya shrugged.

- "The weather on the island is normal." Do you remember this song?

I'm not talking about the song! Rebrov snapped.

And about what? - Vasya looked into Rebrov's eyes, as if he did not understand what

Everyone understood that it was difficult for Rebrov to exist in alienation. But

alienation of comrades was stable.

Somehow Rebrov caught up with the brigadier, went with him in the bus, even though he was not on the way. Pressed by the passengers close to the foreman, he asked:

What's happening?!

We work, we struggle with difficulties, - I heard a calm answer.

What, you don't see anything?! Rebrov exploded.

I see you are suffering. Conscience means you have. Happy about it.

Tired of myself Lately- admitted Rebrov.

You would not toil in vain, but help people. They turned to you - it means that there was a need for you. What are you waiting for? That Yermolov would come up and say: “Thank you for letting me down”?

Why "thank you"? They immersed me "in the zone of silence", do you think it's easy for me?

You are not about yourself - think about people. Do at least a small good, you will feel happy

Maybe go to the Yermolovs, help nail, screw something ... In new apartments, work to hell ...

Here is the thought. Well, I'll go out, be healthy. The brigadier left

bus. And Rebrov went to the Yermolovs.

Give examples from your life when you were let down

the indiscretion of other people. With whom would you not go on reconnaissance?

Are adults often irresponsible?

Is it possible to develop this quality in oneself - responsibility?

Choose synonyms for the word "responsibility".

(Commitment, sense of duty, punctuality...)

"What should be a well-mannered person?"

Now that we've exchanged views, let's summarize: What basic rules should a well-mannered person follow?

Be precise and accurate;

Do not vent evil on others;

Do not interrupt the interlocutor;

On a visit to behave decently;

Don't forget to give thanks.

What do you call a person who follows these rules? (Educated, cultured).

What character traits show a person's upbringing?

4. The game "Take - do not take"

Guys, I will give you a list where the main character traits of a person are written, and you will note who chooses which character traits for themselves.

. Accuracy;

Indifference, gratitude;

Good manners, politeness, grouchiness;

Coarseness;

Greed;

• Impudence;

  Modesty, empathy;

  Tact;

  Generosity;

  Sneaking.

Now tell me who chose what, and from your words we will make a flower, the petals of which are the most good traits character that an educated person has.

“Good manners cannot be driven in, hammered into a person, it cannot be instilled, pinned down, it cannot be forcibly pulled on a person.

This is a quality that grows from within as a result of a person’s own work on himself.».

The results of the lesson are summed up by the students, pronouncing the main thoughts that were voiced in the lesson: (slide 8)

◄ to be well brought up:

◄ this should be strived for;

◄ need to work on this

◄ you need to practice self-improvement.

Each of your actions is reflected in other people, do not forget that there is a person next to you.

I give you as a keepsake the rules that we discussed today. Don't forget to complete them!

Don't forget to thank each other!

So I also thank you for active work, be educated, kind, smart!

III. Summary of the conversation. Reflection.

So we live among people, in society. Communication with people

also implies certain obligations, which we must remember

must, so that they can say about us: "You can rely on him, he does not

From the memoirs of the People's Artist of the USSR Sofya Vladimirovna Giatsintova

A well-mannered person ... If they say this about you, consider that you have received high praise. Unfortunately, in our Everyday life We don't often speak so highly of someone. At one time, some even believed that "good manners", with everything that is included in this capacious concept, seems to be even a relic, conventions discarded like historical trash. The right to respect was given to another concept: “an educated person”. It was believed that a person who received a diploma was already a cultured and well-mannered person.

No, it's not. Life itself shows that education does not yet predetermine education. And now is the time when we, teaching and educating our youth, it is time to seriously raise the question of their "education". We should not only be proud of the knowledge and cultural level of our young generation, but be sure that it has sufficient worldly tact, knows how to behave in society, is armed with good manners, which are always, in any era, an adornment of a person, no matter who he is. .

So what is education?

It happens like this: my interlocutor is a good, smart person, I know that. But as a wall stands between us, his inability to communicate. It's like in a play - the role is meaningful, but the form is either banal or inexpressive, and the image does not work. I want to talk about the form of human-to-human communication.

Good manners are not only about good manners. It is something deeper and more fundamental in man. First of all, it is his inner intelligence. And outwardly it is expressed in charm. There is such a rather vague, at first glance, concept - charm. Now, we have to be charming. Charm contains, above all, respect for the other. A.P. Chekhov wrote: "What a pleasure it is to respect people." But in order to experience this pleasure, one must be able to respect. To be educated and charming means to be attentive to another, delicate, tactful, modest. These are excellent qualities, and if they are inherent in someone in the older generations, then let the young, like a precious heritage, take these qualities for themselves and develop them and make them their own.

It seems to me that the artist of the Art Theater Vasily Ivanovich Kachalov is the standard of such qualities. He walked along the street, and then you will admire it. Both modest and festive. He understood that people were looking at him, that he gave them joy, and he walked bearing this obligation of his own - not to disappoint people with everyday life, alienation, and inattention to them. He certainly remembered all the names and patronymics of the people he met. He organically respected people and was always interested in them. With him, every woman felt attractive, a gentle creature, worthy of care. Men felt smart and very much needed by Kachalov in this moment. Vasily Ivanovich, as it were, "absorbed" other people's lives, faces, characters, and he was among people like a holiday, like human beauty and nobility.

Yes, I think that the main thing in his charm was respect for people. Is it possible to cultivate this in yourself? Isn't this a talent? Probably, to some extent - talent. But it can manifest itself in everyone, to one degree or another, if, of course, you want to find and approve it in yourself, in others. And we have to approve. And above all in the younger generations.

Once on the street, a girl of eight years old pushed me with her elbow, stepped on my foot and calmly walked on. I said, "Why didn't you apologize?" Mother attacked me: “Are you making comments to my girl? Think, what a sissy!” The girl was justified by her mother. Maternal love was unreasonable. The girl walked away beaming with her victory. And I thought bitterly: a sweet-looking girl, but she will grow up ill-mannered. high education can get, but there will be no genuine intelligence in it. And all because it is not brought up from childhood. And the parents are primarily to blame. After all, they are the main responsibility for what a person will be like.

I once read a story like this. In Paris, the homeless and beggars came to the Louvre in the morning, stood by the heating, warmed up. The old woman stood there. Nearby, the artist worked on a copy. The artist suddenly got up, brought a chair and placed it on the old woman. She bowed low and sat down. This scene was observed by a woman with a boy. The mother whispered something to her son. He approached the artist and said, "Merci, madam." And with happy face returned to his mother.

I was fascinated by everything in this story - the behavior of the artist, and the clever upbringing of the mother, and the boy's happiness from his participation in beautiful human attention, happiness from his community with good people. To come to the aid of a person is generosity, this is true nobility.

We must bring these qualities into our everyday life. There is no need for high words. A man - let him give up his seat on the bus to a woman, especially an elderly one. It should be natural and familiar. This is required by the laws of elementary decency. And there is no reason at all to be touched by such manifestations of ordinary decency, as we sometimes do. One day, at the front door of our theater, I ran into an unfamiliar young man. I was delayed for a minute: let him go first. And he stopped, stepped back, opened the door for me and said: "Please." My God! How I thanked him! Why? After all, this is the most minimal, natural attention to a woman, and even an older one. Politeness is the simplest. Of course she is appreciated. “Nothing is valued so dearly and nothing costs us so cheaply as politeness,” said Cervantes. And another kind word said to people. We wish we could say these words to each other more often! A short "thank you" has a magical power to unite people, to awaken kindness in them.

One day we were waiting for a taxi. In front are two young people, behind them is a woman, not old, not young. Apparently, they all stood for a long time and were very cold. A car came up. The young people, without saying a word, turned to the woman. “Sit down,” one of them said. “We see you are very cold.” The woman gratefully accepted the car as a gift. “Thank you,” she said simply and cordially. A short gratitude, but how elevated in their own eyes these young men and together with them all of us. The queue became kind-kind and very patient. A common “thank you” brought people together like magic. Is it the little things? No. This is the joy of life. This is a fun day.

I am always offended by cynicism in people, especially in young people. Some people think that to be a cynic means to look smart and modern - to deny everything, to laugh at everything. With such an attitude towards life, there is no need to trouble yourself with thoughts. Not to create, but to destroy, not to respect, but to humiliate and not feel responsible for anything. I consider cynicism a profound manifestation of bad manners, the absence of a true inner culture, disrespect for people and society. This is a dangerous disease.

It is necessary to form upbringing in people, first of all, through respect for work, for the cause to which he devoted himself. Diderot said that it is not enough to do good, one must also do it well. In my youth, I myself once underwent such an upbringing. I just entered the Art Theater. I walk down the corridor, and Konstantin Sergeevich Stanislavsky meets me. It was the first time I saw him so close. It is strong and beautiful. He looks at me from his height. My heart skips a beat with excitement and excitement. And suddenly his whole mighty figure stands on tiptoe and moves lightly, lightly, silently. “Do you know how to go to the theatre?” he asks. And without waiting for an answer, he explains: “You are now walking past the stage. And then there might be a rehearsal. So, you have to walk very, very quietly.” Not so much his words, but his light, cautious gait left a mark on my memory for life. This is what it means to be able to educate others by your own example!

Life gives many reasons for irritation over trifles. It doesn’t cost anything to offend a person in a bus flea market, in a line at a store ... If you couldn’t restrain yourself, for an insignificant reason, you touched a person with an offensive word, then you humiliated not only him, but above all yourself, you lost something in yourself, became poorer. In Moscow, the operation of the telephone network leaves much to be desired. Sometimes you dial the right number, but you end up in the wrong place at all. And suddenly you are irritated: “Dial correctly! Don't stop working." And how nice it is when on the other end of the wire a person unknown to you, whom you probably will never meet in your life, will say softly and politely that you have the wrong number. A telephone misunderstanding, and the person in it did not drop his human dignity.

It happens like this - all the people around are smart, nice, good, who know each other. Gathered together to talk, but the conversation does not work. They all speak at the same time. Noisy and fun. Each about his own and does not listen to the interlocutor at all. Everyone excludes everyone. And the conversation fades. And there is no longer that grace-filled fellowship that so enriches. Being in a society does not mean gathering in a bunch. It means to meet people and perceive their thoughts, their characters, their behavior. To meet a personality means to understand it, to enrich oneself. To be able to speak means to respect the interlocutor. “You should not seize the conversation as a fiefdom from which you have the right to survive the other,” said Cicero.

It happens that we do not argue, but impose our opinion stubbornly, even rudely, without any interest in the objection. And you need to listen to the other side. It's a culture of relationship.

We sometimes do not pay attention not only to what we say, but also how we say it. We hurry, we don’t even finish the words. We still do not always know how to be proud of our language, and yet our language is amazingly beautiful. Unfortunately, there is a lot of vulgarity, streetness and even rudeness in our language.

It happens that a superior in position considers it acceptable for a subordinate to say “you”, and in return receive a respectful “you”. This is humiliating and unworthy of our time. This is a bitter echo of the old regime offices and government orders. Genuine good breeding and culture cannot be combined with the lordly arrogance based on the table of ranks.

Content is inseparable from form. An educated person is not difficult to recognize at a glance. His appearance speaks for itself. He is not lost in an unfamiliar society. He knows how to sit at the table, eat beautifully and neatly. Will not talk to a woman with his hands in his pockets or a cigarette in his mouth. He will resolve an unexpected everyday conflict with humor rather than annoyance. In all his behavior he is natural and simple.

Sometimes on the stage they try to portray a society of extra-educated people. Actors and actresses hold their hands in a manner, walk in a manner, speak in a manner. And this petty-bourgeois brokenness is presented as the highest class of behavior. And the true "highest class" of upbringing is simplicity, naturalness and ease.

To be a Human being among people is a great happiness. Let everyone experience this happiness.

MATERIAL

to extracurricular activities

"What does it mean to be an educated person"

Teacher:

Vdovichenko N.N.

What does "educated person" mean?

Education is the assimilation of good habits.

Plato

– How will you answer this question?

IN explanatory dictionary It is said that "well-mannered is one who knows how to behave well."

Who do we consider educated? Maybe someone with a higher education?

Life shows that every educated person cannot be considered educated. Education in itself does not predetermine upbringing, although it creates favorable conditions for this.

An educated person has sufficient tact, he knows how to behave in society, he has good manners. An educated person is not difficult to recognize at a glance. His appearance speaks for itself: he does not get lost in an unfamiliar society, knows how to sit at the table, eat beautifully and neatly. But good manners are not only about good manners. It is something deep and essential in a person. This "something" is an internal culture and intelligence, the basis of which is cordiality and respect for another person.

Example (memories of the People's Artist of the USSR):

“It seems to me that the actor of the Art Theater Vasily Ivanovich Kachalov is the standard of such qualities. He walked along the street - and then you admire. Both modestly and festively ... He certainly remembered all the names and patronymics of the people he met. He organically respected people and was always interested in them. With him, every woman felt attractive, a gentle creature, worthy of care. The man felt smart and very much needed by him (Kachalov) at the moment. Vasily Ivanovich, as it were, "absorbed" other people's lives, faces, characters, and he was among people like a holiday, like human beauty and nobility.

In this regard, I would like to recall such a personality trait as charm. A charming person has an attractive power, he is always friendly, prudent, his smile is bright and natural, meeting and talking with him is a pleasure. And to be educated means to be attentive to another, delicate, tactful, not petty.

Example. In a letter to his brother Nikolai, Anton Pavlovich Chekhov writes what conditions, in his opinion, educated people should satisfy. We think it is useful for us to listen to his words: “They respect the human personality, and therefore they are always condescending, gentle, polite, compliant ... They do not rebel because of a hammer or a missing rubber band; living with someone, they do not do a favor out of this, and when they leave, they do not say: “It is impossible to live with you!” They forgive noise, and cold, and overcooked meat, and sharpness, and the presence of strangers in their homes ...

They are sincere and afraid of lies, like fire. They do not lie even in trifles. A lie is offensive to the listener and vulgarizes the speaker in his eyes. They do not show off, they behave in the street just as they do at home, they do not throw dust in the eyes of the smaller brethren. They are not talkative and do not climb with frankness when they are not asked ...

They do not humble themselves in order to arouse sympathy in another. They do not play on the strings of someone else's soul, so that in response they sigh and coddle with them. They don’t say: “They don’t understand me!” because all this has a cheap effect, it’s vulgar, old, false ...

They are not busy. They are not interested in such fake diamonds as acquaintance with celebrities ... Doing business for a penny, they do not rush with their stick for a hundred rubles and do not brag about the fact that they were allowed to go where others were not allowed to ... ”

Conclusion: genuine good breeding and culture cannot be combined with lordly arrogance.

Completely incompatible with the concept well-mannered person cynicism - arrogant, shameless behavior, imbued with contempt for people. Cynicism is a deep manifestation of bad manners, the absence of a true inner culture, disrespect for people and society.

“Cynicism is dangerous, first of all, because it raises malice into virtue” (Andre Morois, French writer).

People with cynical behavior are able not to create, but to destroy, not to respect, but to humiliate the people around them; and most importantly, they do not feel their own responsibility for anything.

- What is the main quality that distinguishes a well-mannered person from an uneducated person?

Attitude towards people, attention to them, respect for their individuality.

Each person experiences and perceives in their own way. the world, he has his own characteristics of memory, thinking, attention, he has a peculiar imagination, his own interests, needs, sympathies, affections, mood characteristics, greater or lesser strength of emotional experiences, strong or weak will, "easy" or "difficult" character, his own life experience, his observations, his disappointments, sorrows and joys, habits, and finally, his own destiny. What a wealth - the inner world of man!

There are no uninteresting people in the world.

Their fates are like planetary histories:

Each has everything special, its own,

And there are no planets like it.

E . Yevtushenko

How important it is to understand and constantly remember that not only I have such a complex inner world, but also each of the people around me. And if the person who is next to me is different from me, this does not mean that he is worse than me. He is just different, and you need to respect this other person with his individual characteristics, with his strengths and weaknesses. It is necessary to proceed from the fact that the other person is an independent person who determines his own behavior. Therefore, goading, rudeness, pulling back, commanding tone, etc., are incompatible with the concept of a "well-mannered person."

An educated person not only knows how to understand himself, his desires, opportunities, actions, but also knows how to understand the people around him, take into account and respect their interests, desires, tastes, habits, moods, sincerely respond to their feelings and experiences.

Example. “It also happens,” writes the writer S. Shurtakov, “whether on the road, in a distant village, you meet a new person, an unfamiliar one; you will look at a person: he is both handsome in appearance, and it is interesting to talk with him, and smart, and in general, as they used to say in the old days, all the land is in him. However, you talked with your new acquaintance, got to know him better, shook his hand in parting and said “goodbye”, but you just feel, you understand: if this meeting does not happen, you won’t be very upset, you won’t be sad. A man remained in your eyes, but not in your heart, nothing touched him, none of all the interesting conversations resonated in him.

Indeed, how each of us would like to meet in the interlocutor the consonance of thoughts, feelings, moods. We are grateful to those people who sympathetically listen to us, try to understand what interests us and excites us. We often do not need specific advice, but we need to “speak out” in the presence of a person whose goodwill we feel in ourselves. What about feedback?

But other people expect the same from us! They hope for understanding and interest in them from our side. And to understand the characteristics of a person is not so easy. We often explain the actions, moods, and attitudes of others in terms of our own ideas about their causes. I must say that a good person usually sees good motives in the actions and attitudes of people. And bad is bad.

Good man usually trusting. In his relations with people, he proceeds from the idea that everyone is kind, honest, decent, and is very surprised and upset when he does not find these qualities in someone. Bad person suspicious, he sees in everyone a swindler, a careerist, he explains any luck of another person by the cunning of that, flattery, deceit; and it is very difficult to convince him of decency this person.

In general, the ability to understand the most essential features of another person, to determine the true meaning of his actions, moods, differences in assessments and ideas that arise in people, indicates a fairly high cultural development of a person.

A cultured, educated person, first of all, takes care not to humiliate the dignity of another person.

I would like to draw attention to one more quality that we are embarrassed to talk about out loud, which many, unfortunately, consider old-fashioned. This is nobility.

True nobility is to come to the aid of a person, no matter what adverse circumstances and consequences accompany this. This quality is associated with a person's ability to sympathize, empathize, sympathize, contribute - a sign of the spiritual maturity of the individual.

Nobility is the high morality of a person, combined with selflessness and honesty.

We sometimes have happy moments of meeting a noble person, but these moments are very rare. Why? Probably because there are really very few noble and truly cultured people in the life.

Well, what about ourselves? For some reason, we dare to demand nobility and generosity, sympathy and understanding, forgiveness and help from other people in relation to us. What about yourself? Let's ask ourselves a few questions and try to answer them.

What is the most important thing for us - "to be" or "to seem"? Are we interested in people on their own, outside of their position, place of work and material opportunities? Do we respect others or are we just pretending? Do we love anyone but ourselves? In other words, what are our innermost, most intimate needs, desires, and values?

No matter how we answer these questions, our words, actions, deeds and attitudes betray us.

The great I. Goethe wrote that "behavior is a mirror in which everyone shows his true appearance."

WHAT IT MEANS TO BE EDUCATED

The following phrases became quite natural for us: “He is a well-mannered person”, “She is just a boorish woman”, etc. But often we ourselves find it difficult to determine what we mean by the term “educated person”. And, by the way, it would be nice to know what exactly makes up good breeding, if only in order to be exactly the way others want to see us.

Inna Vasilyeva
Advice for parents "What does it mean to be a well-mannered person?"

"What means to be educated?» upbringing there is good habits. Plato - How do you answer this question? The dictionary says that « educated is one who knows how to behave well". - who do we think educated? Maybe to be, the one who received higher education?

Life shows that it is impossible for every educated consider a person educated. Education in itself does not determine upbringing, although it creates favorable conditions for this. well-mannered man has sufficient tact, he knows how to behave in society, has good manners. a well-mannered person easy to recognize at a glance. His appearance speaks for itself myself: he does not get lost in an unfamiliar society, knows how to sit at the table, eat beautifully and neatly. But upbringing It's not just good manners. It is something deep and significant in man. This "something" is an internal culture and intelligence, the basis of which is cordiality and respect for another man.

To be educated is to be attentive to another, delicate, tactful, not petty.

Output: genuine upbringing and culture cannot be combined with lordly arrogance.

Completely incompatible with the concept educated person cynicism - impudent, shameless behavior imbued with contempt for people. Cynicism is a deep expression bad manners, lack of genuine internal culture, disrespect for people and society. “Cynicism is dangerous, first of all, because it raises malice into virtue” (André Maurois, French writer). People with cynical behavior are able not to create, but to destroy, not to respect, but to humiliate the people around them; and most importantly, they do not feel their own responsibility for anything.

What is the main quality that distinguishes educated person from uneducated? Attitude towards people, attention to them, respect for their individuality. Every human feels and perceives the environment, he has his own characteristics of memory, thinking, attention, he has a peculiar imagination, his own interests, needs, sympathies, affections, mood characteristics, greater or lesser strength of emotional experiences, strong or weak will, "easy" or "difficult" character, he has his own life experience, his own observations, his own disappointments, sorrows and joys, habits, and finally, his own destiny. What is this wealth - the inner world human! There are no uninteresting people in the world. Their fates are like stories planets: Each has everything special, its own, And there are no planets similar to it. E. Evtushenko How important it is to understand and constantly remember that not only I, but also each of the people around me have such a complex inner world. And if human who is next to me is different from me, then it is not means that he is worse than me. He is just different, and you need to respect this other human with its individual characteristics, with its strengths and weaknesses. It must be assumed that the other human- an independent person who determines his own behavior. Therefore, goading, rudeness, pulling back, commanding tone, etc. are incompatible with the concept « well-mannered person» . well-mannered man not only knows how to understand himself, in his desires, abilities, actions, but also knows how to understand the people around him, take into account and respect their interests, desires, tastes, habits, moods, sincerely respond to their feelings and experiences.

Understand the Features man is not so easy. We often explain the actions, moods, and attitudes of others in terms of our own ideas about their causes. I have to say it's good human in the actions and attitudes of people usually sees good motives. And bad is bad. Good the person is usually gullible. In his relations with people, he proceeds from the idea that everyone is kind, honest, decent, and is very surprised and upset when he does not find these qualities in someone. Bad the person is suspicious, he sees in everyone a swindler, a careerist, any luck of another human he explains by cunning, flattery, deceit; and it is very difficult to convince him of the decency of this human. In general, the ability to understand the most essential features of another human, to determine the true meaning of his actions, moods, differences in assessments and ideas that arise in people, indicates a fairly high cultural development human. Cultural, well-mannered person, above all, takes care not to humiliate the dignity of another human. I would like to draw attention to one more quality that we are embarrassed to talk about out loud, which many, unfortunately, consider old-fashioned. This is nobility. True nobility is to come to the aid of man no matter what adverse circumstances and consequences may accompany it. This quality is associated with the ability human compassion, empathize, sympathize, promote - a sign of the spiritual maturity of the individual. Nobility - high morality human coupled with dedication and honesty. We sometimes have happy moments of meeting with a noble human but these moments are very rare. Why? Probably because there are really very few noble and truly cultured people in the life. Well, what about ourselves? For some reason, we dare to demand nobility and generosity, sympathy and understanding, forgiveness and help from other people in relation to us. What about yourself? Let's ask ourselves a few questions and try to answer them. What is important for us - « to be» or "seem"? Are we interested in people on their own, outside of their position, place of work and material opportunities? Do we respect others or are we just pretending?

Do we love anyone but ourselves? In other words, what are our innermost, most intimate needs, desires, and values? No matter how we answer these questions, our words, actions, deeds and attitudes betray us. The great I. Goethe wrote that "behavior is a mirror in which everyone shows his true appearance." WHAT MEAN TO BE EDUCATED It became completely natural for us phrases: "He - educated person", “She is just rude”, etc. But often we ourselves find it difficult to determine what we mean by the concept “ educated person". And, by the way, it would be nice to know what exactly it consists of upbringing, at least in order to be just like that how others want to see us. Politeness. The ancient Greeks argued that to be a very outstanding person to afford be impolite. It is politeness that softens morals, prevents quarrels, pacifies irritation and hatred, forces restraint, and contributes to the emergence of love and respect.

Politeness can be learned, but there is also an innate politeness that comes from the heart, and not from education. Rules of courtesy forbid: - to enter an official institution with a hat (men) and speak loudly (for both sexes); - make noise, disturb and annoy others; - criticize someone's religious beliefs; - humiliate someone's nationality; - laugh at the mistakes and mistakes of other people; - endow the interlocutor aloud with offensive epithets; - send a letter or a gift to the return address; - in a disrespectful tone to speak about the relatives of the interlocutor; - to distort surnames and names; - open someone else's bag, look into it, if it is open, examine the contents of other people's pockets; - arbitrarily pull out the drawers of someone else's desk and shift their contents both at work and at home, as well as open someone else's closet, sideboard, pantry. Tact. Tact is moral intuition well-mannered person, as if suggesting to him the most correct approach, the most subtle, delicate, cautious line of behavior in relation to others.

Tact implies in us tolerance, generosity, attention and deep respect for inner world other people, a sincere desire and ability to understand them, to feel what can bring them joy, and what can upset them. Tact is a sense of proportion that should be observed in a conversation, in any relationship with people, the ability not to cross the line, behind which there is always an insult to the interlocutor. Tact also involves the ability to timely determine the reaction of the interlocutor to our words or actions.

and, in necessary cases, self-criticism and the ability to apologize in time for a mistake. Tact does not negate integrity, directness, honesty, and the rules of tactful behavior are far from the first in the moral code. But very often it is the lack of tact that hurts people close to us. Punctuality. It is she who testifies to good manners. Only a good reason can excuse the delay.

Deliberately making yourself wait (even to young ladies invited on a first date)- impolite. Modesty. Modest human never strives to show himself better, more capable, smarter than others, does not emphasize his superiority over them, does not talk about his qualities, does not require any privileges, special services, amenities. However, modesty is not timidity or shyness. Usually truly humble people in critical situations are much stronger than others in upholding their principles. Helpfulness. It is a virtue as long as it does not become an obsession. It is best to make it a rule to provide services only when you are asked to do so. If you are approached with a request that you are not able to fulfill, it is better to refuse immediately than to give a word and not keep it. Good manners. “The one who embarrasses the fewest people has good manners,” said Jonathan Swift. not accepted in society: - put yourself and your clothes in order, straighten your tie, hairdo, clean your nails; - comb your hair and generally touch your hair; - use the nail of the little finger as a toothpick; - click the knuckles of the fingers; - rub your hands; - pull clothes; - constantly “purring” something under your breath; - stormy manifestations, insulting, rude words to reveal their anger and indignation. Now look at your behavior and think about how polite you are.

People's answers to the question "what does it mean to be a well-mannered person?" completely different from each other. How many people - so many opinions. This is explained very simply - different ideas about such a concept as "education" are formed solely from their own concepts, invested by parents since childhood, and on the basis of their personal qualities. In fact, being educated is a whole science, and not every person even knows its basics. You can talk about this for a very long time, so we will describe here only the main points and features of the behavior of an educated person.

The main quality that can "give out" a well-mannered person is his concern, first of all for other people, and only then for himself. Such a person is in harmony with himself and the world in which he lives. He is very responsive, always ready to help those in need and tries not to create any obstacles or difficulties for anyone. In any situation, he remains polite and helpful.

An educated person does not ignore the generally accepted rules of etiquette, or in other words, the rules of behavior in society. He respects the interests and views different people and, despite his possible disagreement with their point of view, tries to be tolerant and generous.

An educated person evaluates all situations that happen to him adequately and reasonably. He has a sense of his own dignity, and he lives in accordance with his desires and principles, without limiting the rights of other people.

To fulfill one's duties in a timely manner, always to complete any work begun, regardless of its significance - this is what it means to be an educated person.

A well-mannered person is never late, because he respects people and does not keep himself waiting. He delivers on time what he promised. His good and good-natured attitude towards all people is conducive to communication with him. Even being in the company of strangers, he knows how to properly behave with them.

If necessary, a well-mannered person can cope with himself and not show what he feels or thinks.

In a conversation with a well-mannered person, it is impossible to hear rudeness or a tactless remark. He never interrupts the interlocutor and tries to keep the conversation in a friendly tone.

Being honest with yourself and with other people is one of the main qualities of a well-mannered person.

Such a person will certainly comply with all the laws of the country in which he lives or temporarily resides.

It is impossible to notice a well-mannered person arguing or swearing. He also never forces the interlocutor to accept his point of view, but if necessary, he can defend it, avoiding any bickering. If it turns out that he was wrong about something, he will not be afraid to admit it.

A truly educated person will not use other people for his own well-being. For everything he does, he is responsible for himself.

An educated person treats his parents, as well as his relatives and loved ones with great respect and gratitude.

If you strive to be a well-mannered person, then you will pay special attention to what you say - then your self-control will allow you to be confident in yourself and your words.

It is an indisputable fact that a well-mannered person will never allow swearing and obscene words in his vocabulary.

An educated person always strives for his own spiritual development and does not stop at his achievements. Such a person is the best interlocutor and a good friend.