In principle, I would not be too categorical and strict in evaluating this film product. First of all, it does not fit into the film format at all; it is also quite difficult to call it a series. This is more of a TV show, and it should be evaluated accordingly.
The series consists in the fact that every series people come to psychologists with their problems, the choice of which the authors decided to approach with integrity. They choose as complicated as possible, but at the same time everyday and life stories. It is not necessary to reproach them with excessive fantasy. Although full of confidence that this real stories, didn't work out for me.
Go ahead. Two psychologists help the guests, changing each other from series to series. These are Galina Timoshenko and Boris Egorov. They are already elderly people, and it seems that they are psychologists with experience, although many viewers may think otherwise. What I like about them is their eyes and look. They are so good-natured that guests just want to reveal their soul to them, even if you have committed the most vile act. Their voice is also very pleasant, I want to listen to them all and listen. This is where the series gets praise from me.
What the creators obviously failed with was the very implementation of the stories on the screen. It is clear that their actors are playing, receiving information from the lips of clients. The actors look so much like real people that sometimes a rather strange feeling is created that either this is their skill, or they are just amateurs, whose entire work consists solely in cramming the text. By at least at least some emotions on their faces are rarely seen, although the plots are often conducive to this. All this action is also filmed very vilely, accompanied by a voice-over saying what the character is going to do next. Might piss someone off.
And, most importantly, what is the essence of all this? This is supposed to teach viewers how to extricate themselves from difficult life situations. To be able to understand and forgive, so to speak. I, I confess, due to my age (I'm 16) have not yet solved such problems on my own, but it seems to me that they say banal things. And yet all conversations with psychologists are of the same type. There is a meme on the Internet about this program, if you put it in words, it will look something like this: the victim comes to Galina and says: “My son hit me with a shovel on the box of the Jaguar -“ Maybe it’s about you? ”- the psychologist answers. Indeed, in all episodes, psychologists give a hint to the guest to revise their life priorities. Even in the strangest deeds of those around, the matter, as one would expect, is in the hero himself. At the end, the psychologist Galina (if she leads the issue) shows the hero's guilt on the puppets. It turns out very original. This is where the series ends. It is extremely rare for heroes to forgive someone, but to understand in each series.
Summarize. "Understand. Forgive ”- a very kind series, there are almost no analogues of this program on domestic TV. However, not everyone will be interested in watching this on an ongoing basis. As for strict assessments, it seems to me that the main goal of this creation is not to impose some kind of morality and norms of behavior on the viewer, but simply to influence him and, so to speak, make him take note of some of the stories presented here.
Galina Timoshenko, psychologist, host of the program “Understand. Forgive" ("Channel One")
A fourteen-year-old daughter began dating a boy who is a year older than her. I am afraid that they may start an intimate relationship and she will become pregnant. But she does not want to listen to anything, says that she loves him, but I do not understand her.
Nadezhda KHOMENKO, 40 years old, Cherepovets
First, try to listen to her. You are afraid of something and believe that your daughter should do everything so that you are not afraid. And who should help your daughter? If you were able to teach her to think sensibly, she herself will not forget to think about everything necessary. And if not, there's nothing you can do. It is impossible to keep a person from anything by any prohibitions, horror stories and threats. But it is quite possible to achieve that she will cease to be frank with you if she sees that you do not want to understand her ...
My husband always limited my communication with girlfriends. Only his friends come to visit. I feel lonely. I regret that I allowed him to make me dependent. How to be?
Irina STARKINA, 30 years old, Khimki
That is, now the time has finally come when you need someone else besides your husband for life? Now you have to decide - do you really want to communicate with friends or are you just fighting for your independence? If the first, then it is enough to start communicating with them again. Yes, the husband will be unhappy, but sooner or later he will have to come to terms with this or leave. Its right, right? And if you are just fighting for independence - why do you need it if you still do not have your desires and life?
My husband spends a lot of time on the Internet and less and less time with me and the child. In the evening he sits down at the computer, comes to bed at 3-4 in the morning. When I leave for work and the child goes to school, he is still sleeping. Is it possible to change the situation?
Irina KONEVA, 34 years old, Podolsk
First, let's find out the reasons. I see three possible explanations for what is happening. First: your husband is bored with you, and he is trying to escape to the virtual spaces. Second: he is generally bored with life, and his sitting on the Internet is just a way to quickly live his life so as not to suffer from boredom. Third: what he does on the Internet is actually his favorite pastime in life. Can something be changed? Let's deal with each case. If he is bored with you, then it’s time for you to start living the most interesting life in order to become interesting person Not only for him, but above all for himself. If he is bored with life, all the more so: he will not decorate your life with anything anyway. And if he is just a passionate computer scientist, you again have to look for something for yourself that brings the same joy that the Internet gives her husband.
My eight year old son always got on New Year what I wanted. Now he wants an expensive gift, but the financial situation in the family is not so hot. I tell him it's better to wish for something else. And he replies that he just asked Santa Claus for this so that I would not spend money. How to get out?
Margarita KOTOVA, 33 years old, Kursk
Easy: write a funny letter from Santa Claus in which a funny grandfather gently and convincingly justifies why the boy needs exactly the toy that you are ready to buy him. The main thing is that the explanation should be written based on the characteristics, tastes and preferences of the son, and the letter itself should look magical ...
Six months ago, my husband, with whom I lived for 15 years, left for another woman. During our life together, we had mutual friends with whom we celebrated the holidays. I recently learned that he was going to go to them to celebrate the New Year with a new girlfriend. I feel abandoned and forgotten by everyone. How to get rid of feelings of loneliness?
Anna SEROV, 40 years old, Omsk
And what worries you more: the fact that he will be in this company not with you, but with her, that you cannot go to this company, or that you have no one to celebrate the New Year with? If the first is not a feeling of loneliness, but insulted pride. If the second or third, then there was nothing more interesting in your life than a family - and then this problem must be solved regardless of the New Year and who will meet it with ex-husband. It is necessary to somehow try especially hard to stay alone on a planet where more than six billion people live!
The daughter of 17 years old asks to let her go to the company to celebrate the New Year. I don’t know what to do, because we don’t allow her to spend the night with her friends.
Elena SEMENOVA, 38 years old, Kaluga
Someday you will start to allow her to do it anyway - so why not this New Year? If you managed to teach your daughter prudence and responsibility for her actions before the 17th birthday, then why shouldn't she celebrate this New Year with friends? And if you haven't, then you won't be able to...
My husband doesn't want to celebrate New Year's. He had already warned me that we would not go anywhere and that I would not invite anyone. And I really want to have fun. How can I persuade him?
Olga TRETYAKOVA, 32 years old, Moscow
Why persuade? In the end, each person has his own idea of how to celebrate the holiday. Do you like to celebrate the New Year in the company - to your health! Give yourself this pleasure. Maybe he will agree to go with you. However, maybe not - he has the right ... And if it is more important for you to be with your husband that day, then you will have to celebrate the New Year at home. Don't you think that's pretty fair?
I've been dating a man for 5 years now. When his or my mother leaves somewhere, we live with him, and then we leave. I want us to have a real family. We have been together for so many years, does my beloved doubt me?
Svetlana KRYUKOVA, 32 years old, Moscow
He probably, unlike you, does not believe that these five years were just a trial period before the wedding. Of course, you can try to persuade him to marry, but why?! Decide what the concept of "real family" means to you. Does it include forced marriage? It would be nice to find out how he imagines a real family.
I'm going to marry a widower. We have been living in his apartment for six months now. It contains the things of his late wife, her photographs hang. Sometimes it seems to me that he does not love me, but simply wants to drown out the pain of loss. How can I explain to my beloved that as long as he makes a memorial out of his house, he will not be able to disconnect from the past?
Irina S., 35 years old, Moscow
If he knows that this is unpleasant for you, and does not change anything, it means seeing photos dead wife more important to him than building a relationship with you. The question is: what is more important for you - to love or to be loved? If you love, then what's the difference whether these photos hang or not. And if you want to be loved, then maybe you just chose the wrong person...
By chance, on the Internet, I met a man whom I broke up with many years ago. He wrote that he still loves me and proposed a date. But the whole evening he talked about his work (network marketing for the sale of cosmetics), agitated me to do this. I still didn’t understand if he wanted to see me or pursued only a commercial interest?
Julia LEPS, 31 years old, Ufa
From your letter it is impossible to find any signs that you are interested. Q: Do you still like this person yourself? If so, why don't you take advantage of the opportunity to work together? Or can you not afford to fall in love without guarantees that you will be reciprocated?
My husband and I love to eat delicious food, so I cook all the time. But recently I realized that all things have become small for both him and me. We agreed to lose weight together. I stopped cooking, I buy only vegetables and fruits. But I do not have enough willpower, and secretly from my husband I break the diet. How to be?
Nina ILCHUK, 39 years old, Omsk
Maybe if it's so difficult to diet, it's better to change your wardrobe? Indeed, by deceiving, you risk ruining your relationship with your husband. Although there is another option: it is not necessary to switch from family feasts to complete starvation - you can lose weight using more gentle methods.
Money began to disappear from my wallet at home. I know this is the work of a 14 year old son. But he doesn't confess. How to explain that without asking you can not take?
Olga TITOVA, 42 years old, Barnaul
Firstly, you should not provoke your son by leaving your wallet in a conspicuous place. Secondly, you can introduce a strict austerity regime in the family, motivating this by the fact that money began to disappear and therefore there is not enough of it. Thirdly, after some time after the introduction of “emergency measures”, you can simply discuss with your son how much pocket money he needs and how much this amount corresponds to your capabilities.
I have never been on the content of a beloved man. He, of course, gave me gifts, took me to rest, but I earned myself for daily needs. Now I have lost my job. I hoped that he would support me financially, but he pretends that nothing is happening. How to draw his attention to my problems?
Tatyana VLASENKO, 34 years old, Biysk
Why not just ask him to help you? Maybe, based on the experience of your previous relationship with him, he simply concluded that it is extremely important for you not to depend on him in any way, and does not even suspect that the situation has changed? It is possible that even if he refuses, you still want to stay with him: after all, it is not at all a fact that the main role of a man in a relationship is to be a support and sponsor.
My son got married, I was against it. Now, when I visit him, my daughter-in-law leaves. A grandson was born, I have long revised my attitude towards my daughter-in-law. How can I get in touch with her?
Irina TREMASOVA, 50 years old, Samara
You just have to meet your daughter-in-law and honestly admit that you were wrong. Only for such “establishing contact” it is very important to be ready to really admit that you are wrong and not wait for the daughter-in-law to throw herself on your neck. You will do everything in your power, and then the decision will be made by her. After all, you, too, may not be too nice to her, and it’s not at all a fact that she is going to revise her attitude.
I have been at home with small children for 5 years. Then she went to work, began to make a career. On the other hand, things went wrong for my husband. He does not earn anything, lives at my expense. When I say that it is difficult for me to support everyone, he replies that he fed me for five years ...
Anna MALTSEVA, 33 years old, Pskov
You need to decide if you are ready to continue to support him. If yes, then there can be no complaints against your husband: for you, the pleasure of living together with him is more significant than the need to earn money yourself. Otherwise, you need to divorce. Do not threaten divorce, but really divorce.
I have been married for five years. Everyone says it's time to have a baby. But I still want to work, go on vacation! How to explain this to loved ones?
Anna, 27 years old, Orel
What do you really want - to explain your position or for everyone to admit that you are right? Why do you need someone's consent if you are sure that you are right? Or are you just not sure about this - and that is why you hope that you will be supported? But if for some reason you think that an elephant has three legs, and find three more who think the same way, this will not change the number of legs the elephant has...
My beloved is very busy with work, we rarely see each other. Trying to distract myself, I plan things. When he calls and makes an appointment, he never asks if I can at that time. I am in a predicament. What if I don't want to refuse him?
Svetlana, 30 years old, Klin
If most of your life is spent waiting for his calls, then why are you in a quandary when he calls? Or you have your own life, in which case you respect his life too. In this case, you find a time that is convenient for both of you. But for this you need to learn and refuse. Or you live only in anticipation of his calls - then you have to put up with the fact that he sets the time for meetings. True, in this case you lose the right to any reproaches - you yourself have chosen such a position.
The husband has changed. Then he said that this would not happen again. But the betrayals didn't stop. Each time, the husband asked for forgiveness and swore that he would not deceive in the future. What to do? I can't trust him anymore.
Olga, 34 years old, Khimki
And you don't have to believe. The main thing is to decide whether you are ready to endure it further. It is likely that there are so many good things in your life together that you can pay for the opportunity to continue it and have to endure betrayal. And if there are other problems, then betrayal is just a signal of their presence. Does it make sense to be offended by the barometer because the pressure drops outside?
I have been dating a man for 10 years (we have a common child). But we don't live together, he comes for the weekend. Helps with the housework, takes care of the child. But he does not introduce his relatives. How can this be explained?
Alla, Voronezh
The fact that he does not want more than he already has. What doesn't suit you? Do you really want to be friends with his family? Or do you want to get married? Does he know what you want? If he knows, and everything remains the same, then it will continue to be so. Why change something if you are already in a relationship with him? And if he does not know, then how will he guess that something does not suit you?
My husband and I decided to leave, but for now we are forced to live together. Which mode of communication should I choose? If I communicate with him in a friendly way, he thinks that everything suits me, and the departure is delayed ..
Sofia K., 37 years old, Moscow
Or maybe you really are satisfied with everything? Then why bother trying to get away? Difficulties arise when the husband's actions are contrary to your standards. Judging by the fact that you still do not take decisive measures to leave, these contradictions are not so strong. This means that your gain from staying after a divorce with your husband in the same apartment is more than a loss.
After the divorce, I moved in with my mother along with my 5-year-old daughter. I recently started dating a man. One day I didn't come home for the night. Mom threw me a tantrum. I can’t understand her: on the one hand, she wants me to arrange my life, on the other, every my absence from home makes her angry.
Olga N., 36 years old, Omsk
For some reason, mom's tantrums prevent you from arranging your personal life. And why? There is your desire - to meet the man you like. And there is mother's desire - that you stay with her. Or to communicate with a man only under her control. Or - met with those whom she herself will select for you. You will have to choose: to build your life the way you want, or the way your mother wants. Just don't forget: life is yours...
Men often meet me on the street, in transport, they pick up the phone, promise to contact me and ... they don’t call. Maybe I scare them away with the wrong behavior?
Galina CHEREPOVA, Nizhny Novgorod
What behavior do you think is wrong? If before they gave you your phone, then, judging by the fact that men ask for it, they like your behavior. If you think that they are not satisfied with the very fact that you give out your number, it means that they did not initially count on such a development of events and were not going to meet with you. Imagine: you are in a store asking the price of some thing. Does this mean you should definitely buy it?
My husband never says kind words to me. It has always been so. He has not changed either after the wedding, or after the birth of a child ...
Irina, 31 years old, Kursk
And why did you expect that after the wedding something would change? Why should a man of few words after marriage immediately become eloquent and gentle? In essence, your frustrations are that rivers don't start flowing backwards just because you want to. Maybe he hoped that after the wedding you would stop expecting him to become what he really is not. You didn't live up to his expectations, did you?
My lovely grandson is 6 months old. But I can't even sit with him for an hour. My heartbeat quickens, my blood pressure rises, I start to get nervous, I have to take sedatives. What is this disease?
Valentina Viktorovna, 57 years old, Moscow
There are many options. You can react painfully to the fact that you are unable to cope with the crying of the baby, to the very fact that you are "obliged" to babysit. You may be outraged by your daughter-in-law or son-in-law, who do not have time to take care of the child themselves and they tend to blame it on you. That is, of your own free will, you would be happy to communicate with your grandson, but the compulsion of this depresses. It can be very difficult for you to worry about the fact that you, since you have become a grandmother, seem to no longer have the right to your own personal life: since a grandmother, it means that she is old ... There are many options, choose your own.
I met a man and fell in love with him. He is a driver and I teach at the university. We are good together, but I am worried about the different level of education. Could this interfere with the relationship in the future?
Daria IVANOVA, 39 years old, Kazan
Of course, it can, if you constantly compare your levels and statuses with him. Accordingly, he will also tense up because you are ashamed of him, he does not correspond to you - and, therefore, you do not like him enough. But if the difference in educational levels does not bother you now, then why should it start to interfere in the future? It seems to me that it is already interfering with you - otherwise, where could such a question come from? After a while, things will almost certainly really change, simply because the passion will pass. Or do you think that higher education is a quality mark that automatically transfers a person to a certain more high level? There is another option: his educational level is not the only thing that does not suit you, but you do not want to admit it to yourself ...
After the birth of the second daughter, the husband changed a lot. He is in no hurry to go home, he may not come to spend the night. And recently he said that he became an egoist and no longer loves me or the children. I can’t understand why such changes happened, because we lived together for 10 years!
Inna K., 36 years old, Tver
Would anything change if you knew why it happened? Apparently, it's something else: you just don't want to believe that he really doesn't love you anymore. I don't think anyone can say right now if this is true. But if this is so, you will have to decide how to live now in new circumstances. And if not, you have to figure out how to build relationships further.
My husband and I decided to leave, but for now we are forced to live together. Which mode of communication should I choose? If I communicate with him in a friendly way, he thinks that everything suits me, and the question of leaving is postponed. Yes, and it begins to seem to me that everything suits me, as long as his actions do not contradict my standards, and I don’t want to swear with him.
Sofia K., 37 years old, Moscow
Or maybe you really are satisfied with everything? Then why make unthinkable efforts to disperse? Difficulties arise when his actions "contrary to your standards." Judging by the fact that you still do not take decisive measures to leave, these contradictions are not so strong. This means that as long as the number of minuses from living together does not exceed the number of pluses, the trip will not occur. It is possible that even if it happens, you will not experience this delight. Accordingly, there is no reason to swear - all the same, the gain from staying in one apartment after a divorce is more than a loss. When the minuses begin to prevail, it is all the more pointless to swear: forces will be required for an urgent departure.
Daughter of 14 years got in touch with a bad company. I started skipping school, lying, smoking. We talked with her repeatedly, and scolded, and gave examples from life. She kind of promises that she will change, goes outside the house and does the same. What do you advise? To be tough no matter what? Maybe she's just manipulating us?
Tatyana Sergeevna, 39 years old, Serpukhov
No person associates with "bad company" if he feels bad there. There is something that draws him in! It may seem to you that there is nothing good in this company - the daughter obviously thinks differently. You list the cons of this company to her - and she sees the pros. Therefore, you have two options. Or find some argument that will look really, really strong minus not for you, but for your daughter - one that, in her worldview, will outweigh all the advantages of the company. Or create in her stay at home such pluses and in such quantity that - again, in her opinion! - will be more significant than all that she receives in her company.
The lights go out - light a candle.
No matches - look at the stars.
The sky is in clouds - look for the light in yourself.
Do you want me to help?
I AM - professional psychologist, psychotherapist Galina Timoshenko.
I graduated from the Faculty of Psychology of the Moscow state university them. M.V. Lomonosov and the first five years after his graduation, she knew one thing for sure: I will never, under any circumstances, engage in psychotherapy!!! I studied psychodiagnostics for a long time with Lyudmila Nikolaevna Sobchik and naively believed that for the rest of my life I would be testing someone ...
Then I spent two years in the Libyan desert, from where I brought about two thousand test results of Soviet specialists who worked there, then I worked with the liquidators of the consequences of the Chernobyl accident at the Obninsk Research Center "Prognoz", taught at the Kaluga State Pedagogical University the basics of psychology and psychodiagnostics… And already from there, being a complete "teapot", I got a job as a psychologist in the neurosis department of a local hospital.
In the future, I was extremely lucky with the teachers. I studied art therapy and psychosynthesis with Tatyana Koloshina, body-oriented psychotherapy in Vladimir Baskakov, Ericksonian hypnosis Sergei Gorin, as well as the biosynthesis of Andreas Wychowski, Marianne Bentzen, Gerlinde Buchholz and etc.
Now I am conducting training seminars on body-oriented psychotherapy, art therapy, the use of body metaphors in psychotherapy, and the design of psychotherapeutic strategies. In client practice, both individual and group, I work with various forms of latent schizophrenia, psychosomatic illnesses, borderline states, and everything else that a modern psychotherapist has to deal with. I mainly use the strategies and techniques of body-oriented psychotherapy, art therapy, psychosynthesis, biosynthesis, bodynamics, and I also really like to invent my own approaches and techniques.
The longer I do psychotherapy (and I have been working for almost fifteen years), the more I am convinced that for each client there is a psychotherapist, and there are all the others.
Therefore, I will tell you about what kind of psychotherapist I am - so that you can decide if I can be your psychotherapist.
So what can I do?
- I can understand you even when you don't understand yourself;
- I can ask questions you never thought about;
- I can offer unexpected solutions;
- I can be by your side, whatever you do;
- I can make it so that in a conversation about your own problems you will not cry, but laugh.
What can't I?
- I can't make you happy with a wave of my hand;
- I can't figure out for you what you want;
- I cannot hypnotize you, take off the crown of celibacy, open closed chakras, etc. etc.;
- I can't change your life for you.
More about Galina Tymoshenko
In 2004, Tymoshenko created and headed PsyExLab training center(in the spring of 2010 the center changed its name and is now called Psychological agency "Algorithms of happiness"), where various psychological and psychotherapeutic methods and techniques are used.
Since August 2006, together with Boris Egorov, he has been leading the program "Understand. Forgive" aired on Channel One on weekdays.
Copied from the site "Self-knowledge.ru"
Psychologist, psychotherapist, TV presenter. Galina Timoshenko- a regular participant and expert of the television project " Understand. Forgive". Author of articles and books on psychology.
Biography of Galina Timoshenko / Galina_Timoshenko
Galina Valentinovna Timoshenko was born in Chisinau. In 1980 she graduated from high school with a gold medal, and in 1986 from the Faculty of Psychology Moscow State University. M.V. Lomonosov. Your later life and career Galina Timoshenko imagined it like this:
- I graduated from the Faculty of Psychology of Moscow State University. M. V. Lomonosov and the first five years after graduation knew one thing for sure: I will never and under no circumstances engage in psychotherapy!!! I studied psychodiagnostics for a long time with Lyudmila Nikolaevna Sobchik and naively believed that I would be testing someone for the rest of my life ...
Galina Timoshenko about his studies: “I was extremely lucky with the teachers: I studied art therapy and psychosynthesis with Tatyana Koloshina, body-oriented psychotherapy in Vladimir Baskakov, Ericksonian hypnosis Sergei Gorin, as well as the biosynthesis of Andreas Wychowski, Marianne Bentzen, Gerlinda Buchholz and others."
Career of Galina Timoshenko / Galina_Timoshenko
First workplace Galina Timoshenko became a machine-building plant in the city of Klimovsk, where for two years after graduation she was a full-time psychologist. After that, from 1988 to 1990, the young psychologist tested Soviet specialists who worked in Libya. There, in Libya, Galina Valentinovna daughter Nastya was born.
During 1993-1995, in places of application of forces and abilities Galina Tymoshenko steel Obninsk Research Center " Forecast", where she worked with the liquidators of the consequences of the accident on Chernobyl nuclear power plant , and Kaluga State Pedagogical University. Having become a teacher of this center, Galina Valentinovna taught students psychodiagnostics and the basics of psychology. From 1996 to 1998 Galina Timoshenko worked as a psychologist in the city psychotherapeutic polyclinic No. 223 in Moscow, and then entered the internship RSMU majoring in Clinical Psychology.
In 2004 Galina Timoshenko created and headed the Training Center PsyExLab(in the spring of 2010 the center changed its name and is now called the Psychological Agency " Happiness Algorithms”), where various psychological and psychotherapeutic methods and techniques are used.
Galina Timoshenko:“Now I am conducting training seminars on body-oriented psychotherapy, art therapy, the use of body metaphors in psychotherapy, and the design of psychotherapeutic strategies. In client practice, both individual and group, I work with various forms of latent schizophrenia, psychosomatic illnesses, borderline states, and everything else that a modern psychotherapist has to deal with. At the same time, I mainly use the strategies and techniques of body-oriented psychotherapy, art therapy, psychosynthesis, biosynthesis, bodynamics, and I also really like to invent my own approaches and techniques.”
Television career of Galina Timoshenko / Galina_Timoshenko
Since August 2006, Galina Timoshenko, together with Boris Egorov leads the program Understand. Forgive”, aired on weekdays Channel One. Each release of this TV project is a separate story of difficult family relationships. Plots that fall into the program “Understand. Forgive, ”occurred in reality in the lives of clients of psychoanalysts, only names and surnames have been changed. Participants of the program come to practicing psychologists Galina Timoshenko and Boris Yegorov, then a story is filmed where the characters are shown at home or at work, in the place where the conflict takes place.
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